My bro

[benjaminkfrom85]

My brother's going through a really hard time right now. He started university in october and he moved up with two of his friends from home. He's found it hard to adjust and he's started to fall behind with his work. He's always been a straight-A student but uni life can be hard, especially in first year. I think the friends he's with are the real problem..they ditched him on a night out when he got drunk and he was in a pretty bad way. He got home ok from one of the guys he plays football with at uni..just by chance i may add.

He hasn't been the same since that night. My family and I think is drink may have been spiked which may have contributed to him feeling so low but we can't get to the root of it. My bro's bottling his feelings up right now. We're there for him all the way to listen and talk to him whenever he wants to..it's just... ah we're really good friends as well as bro's, but I can't get to the bottom of it to help him...i'm stumped as to what to do.

My brother's felt pretty abandoned by everything that's happened..his whole personality's changed in only a few weeks..he's been really down in himself and dejected with everything. He's ok when we're all home together as a family but it's still not the same. he's usually really really fun, outgoing and positive so it's been really hard to see..we're all trying to help him through it at home..I wish i knew what to do or say in this situation...

[atticus1492]

Anal.

[FatJordan]

When he says football, he means soccer.

[NOBLESTABBINGS]

My brother's felt pretty abandoned by everything that's happened..his whole personality's changed in only a few weeks..he's been really down in himself and dejected with everything. He's ok when we're all home together as a family but it's still not the same. he's usually really really fun, outgoing and positive so it's been really hard to see..we're all trying to help him through it at home..I wish i knew what to do or say in this situation...
Therapist? Are you even asking a question?

[biodegradable]

i think you need to support him.
give him little compliments. not big ones. say things like 'im glad to have you home'
or 'i miss you. you're a really fun person'

[notoaststereo]

word of advice... unless you are a well known member on this site, you will get criticized for you problems.

[Rock]

My brother's going through a really hard time right now. He started university in october and he moved up with two of his friends from home. He's found it hard to adjust and he's started to fall behind with his work. He's always been a straight-A student but uni life can be hard, especially in first year. I think the friends he's with are the real problem..they ditched him on a night out when he got drunk and he was in a pretty bad way. He got home ok from one of the guys he plays football with at uni..just by chance i may add.

He hasn't been the same since that night. My family and I think is drink may have been spiked which may have contributed to him feeling so low but we can't get to the root of it. My bro's bottling his feelings up right now. We're there for him all the way to listen and talk to him whenever he wants to..it's just... ah we're really good friends as well as bro's, but I can't get to the bottom of it to help him...i'm stumped as to what to do.

My brother's felt pretty abandoned by everything that's happened..his whole personality's changed in only a few weeks..he's been really down in himself and dejected with everything. He's ok when we're all home together as a family but it's still not the same. he's usually really really fun, outgoing and positive so it's been really hard to see..we're all trying to help him through it at home..I wish i knew what to do or say in this situation...
What a baby, damn. I read the whole post, and didn't see any real problem. He got ditched by his friends one night. That sucks. Oh well. Get new friends. He's going to college. What a tragedy. Tell him to stop being such a fucking pussy and leave the downtrodden outlook on life to someone who has real problems.

[benjaminkfrom85]

i think you need to support him.
give him little compliments. not big ones. say things like 'im glad to have you home'
or 'i miss you. you're a really fun person'

Thank you. I'm glad there's some people on this site that aren't total assholes. Yeah I've been trying to support him by saying stuff like that, and by doing the usual stuff we do..playing xbox and watching football and stuff.

He's really depressed about something though, it seems to be really hard for him to open up about it. I don't wana pressure him about it by prying too hard. I think there may be drugs involved, it could explain certain things I reckon. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong because it's not something he's ever done.

I'm not sure what the answer is, or even what the question is for that matter..just wondering if anyone else had something similar. We [family] just gotta support him as much as we can i suppose. Thanks for your comment. it's much appreciated.

[Rock]

Thank you. I'm glad there's some people on this site that aren't total assholes. Yeah I've been trying to support him by saying stuff like that, and by doing the usual stuff we do..playing xbox and watching football and stuff.

He's really depressed about something though, it seems to be really hard for him to open up about it. I don't wana pressure him about it by prying too hard. I think there may be drugs involved, it could explain certain things I reckon. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong because it's not something he's ever done.

I'm not sure what the answer is, or even what the question is for that matter..just wondering if anyone else had something similar. We [family] just gotta support him as much as we can i suppose. Thanks for your comment. it's much appreciated.
Haha. I told it like it is, homie. Your brother is getting an education, and has no real problems that I can see. If he wants to have a bad attitude about everything, then he's going to lead an unhappy life. Sometimes, people need to put things in perspective. That's what I try and do. And if you don't like where you're at in life, you have to go out and do something about it. Things will never change otherwise. You just get into this perpetual state of acceptance and unhappiness.

[benjaminkfrom85]

Haha. I told it like it is, homie. Your brother is getting an education, and has no real problems that I can see. If he wants to have a bad attitude about everything, then he's going to lead an unhappy life. Sometimes, people need to put things in perspective. That's what I try and do. And if you don't like where you're at in life, you have to go out and do something about it. Things will never change otherwise. You just get into this perpetual state of acceptance and unhappiness.

That's the thing, he's never had a bad attitude about anything up until now. As I said before. he's a really outgoing positive and upbeat person. It's just the past week after he came home from college that we could all see that something was wrong.

That's what's been so strange about it, because it's totally of sync with his character. There was a mixture of homesicknes, despondency with friends and himself. Last night though, my sister and I watched some dvds with him, and he was laughing a little more, not a whole lot, but I could tell that he wants to get out of the rut he's in. It's a good start. Hopefully.

[jamison1386]

word of advice... unless you are a well known member on this site, you will get criticized for you problems.

what are we in high school again?

[notoaststereo]

what are we in high school again?hey, im just telling you what usually happens.

[ZACKY_6661]

What a baby, damn. I read the whole post, and didn't see any real problem. He got ditched by his friends one night. That sucks. Oh well. Get new friends. He's going to college. What a tragedy. Tell him to stop being such a fucking pussy and leave the downtrodden outlook on life to someone who has real problems.


Thats really nice.. ha ha

[Rock]

Thats really nice.. ha ha
:-D

[Fuce]

That's the thing, he's never had a bad attitude about anything up until now. As I said before. he's a really outgoing positive and upbeat person. It's just the past week after he came home from college that we could all see that something was wrong.

That's what's been so strange about it, because it's totally of sync with his character. There was a mixture of homesicknes, despondency with friends and himself. Last night though, my sister and I watched some dvds with him, and he was laughing a little more, not a whole lot, but I could tell that he wants to get out of the rut he's in. It's a good start. Hopefully.

you're obviously worried if you're posting here, so that means something is probably up. I'd say take the hard route and ask him about it. he might not like to talk about it, but if you two really do have a close relationship, he might open up. Even if he doesn't want to talk, you asking at least lets him know people are worried.

[dannytheschid]

The key isn't to cheer him up or make him happy again, that's not your job. But you should make sure he knows that you care and you should make an effort. So if you only speak to him once a week now, trying calling him more. Make him feel like you give a shit about him, don't just assume that he knows you do. Take an active interest in his life, if you are not currently doing that.
My little sister recently went through a tough time. What I basically did was go into her room every day for like 15 or 20 minutes just to chill with her and ask random questions about her life and why she was upset. The first couple of times were difficult and she didn't give up anything. When I would leave her room, she would still be really upset, but i was persisent (while not being too annoying). And lo and behold, after about a week of me just putting in a little consistent effort every day, she started to open up a little.

[absolutecrunk]

word of advice... unless you are a well known member on this site, you will get criticized for you problems.
That's why I thank my lucky stars every morning that I'm prestigious.

"Who's this tool?"
finally became
"Who's this tool?.......eh he's got a big avatar maybe I'll hear him out."