My Ex's Rebound

[brentkid]

I noticed there's a handful of realistic people on these boards that I'm hoping will see this and tell me what they think because I'm tired of the people around me either saying shit that makes no sense or just trying to be nice.

I was with this girl for three years - we went to college. So go figure there would be the obvious hurdle of working it out. I commute to a school 30 minutes away and she goes to a school about an hour away so it didn't seem bad. She ended up spending weekends at my house because she really didn't like hanging around her school too much. It seemed to work out but then I missed seeing her one weekend and I swear to god it's like everything started to fall apart. I guess commuting fucked me over because I still relied a lot on her but she was busy doing her college deal so I started getting pissy when she didn't have all the time in the world for me still.

To make a story short, we broke up three weeks before our three year anniversary. Well actually, she broke up with me.

Two weeks later, she confesses she thinks she might like another guy. He apparently reminded her of me and she wasn't sure if he was just a rebound or not. It crushed me but I tried to ignore it. Go figure Facebook is horrible for this shit as he started to love writing on her wall all the time. He'd say shit like "Thanks for another great weekend =]" or "Hey future girlfriend, woops did that slip?". So yeah, it's bullshit and I've never seen a guy use smiley faces more than this kid in my entire life. I would confront her about what she wanted to do and she'd either say, "I don't want to get back together," only to be outdone by "I'm so confused about everything."

So anyway, I've had a weird suspicion that she's spent weekends at his place because of his insistent posts of another good weekend and all. So this past Monday I decided I've had enough of sitting in idle - my life has felt like it's been on hold for two months over this. I asked where she stayed. Lo and behold, it was his place. I then just went on to say I can't do this anymore and that if she wants to be with him then she should just say yes already. Her problem was worrying about hurting me by saying yes. I simply told her if what she wants and what will make her happy is being with that kid, go for it.

I told her I wouldn't be able to talk to her for a little to sort of give myself some air to breathe and I'm sure the second they start going out that will need to be done for myself but anyway. I'm just curious, does this kid seem like a total rebound or am I just being an asshole? I'm also just having a hard time accepting if I did the right thing or not.

This sucks.

[boysdontcry17]

i dont think it matters too much if he's just a rebound.
I'd be more concerned with her constant mind games with you,
so under that logic, the the problem is her and not the dude she's fucking.
i think you should stop communicating with her because she's just messing with you.
it will be painful at first, but that's the road to recovery. good luck dude.

[brentkid]

i dont think it matters too much if he's just a rebound.
I'd be more concerned with her constant mind games with you,
so under that logic, the the problem is her and not the dude she's fucking.
i think you should stop communicating with her because she's just messing with you.
it will be painful at first, but that's the road to recovery. good luck dude.
It's just bullshit because I told her I didn't want to talk and she gave me this whole speech about how important I've been in her life and she still wants to talk to me. She was like "I hope you decide you still want to talk."

[Roboman]

See, this is one thing I really hate about some people (i.e. girls 99% of the time): the whole "but I don't want to hurt you!" thing. I understand it's human nature to not want people to hate you for something you did but seriously, the truth is going to come out eventually (as it did in this case), and it obviously still hurts. Just get it over with. People should be more honest with things like this. If you can't tell, "Come Right Out and Say It" is one of my favorite Relient K songs, haha.

Sorry if that's not really on-topic.

[brentkid]

See, this is one thing I really hate about some people (i.e. girls 99% of the time): the whole "but I don't want to hurt you!" thing. I understand it's human nature to not want people to hate you for something you did but seriously, the truth is going to come out eventually (as it did in this case), and it obviously still hurts. Just get it over with. People should be more honest with things like this. If you can't tell, "Come Right Out and Say It" is one of my favorite Relient K songs, haha.

Sorry if that's not really on-topic.
No, I know exactly what you mean. This went on for two months. Mostly me banking on some false hope apparently. I would have much rather her just come out and say I want to be with this guy but it's like she's putting the weight on me like, "It's hard to say yes knowing that I'm hurting you." I just don't get it.

[boysdontcry17]

cut the cancer at root dude, the "i still wanna talk" excuse is a way to avoid her guilt about leaving you. dont waster your time and just stop talking to her. i was in the same position in high school.

[vandalroyale]

I know I'm jumping in a little late, but you have to remember to look out for your self, first and foremost. After being in a long-term relationship and constantly thinking from a "we" perspective, its difficult to all of a sudden start thinking about yourself. I was lucky enough to end in a mutual break up with my ex, but I have a friend whose ex broke up with him, and the thing that is killing him the most is she is still trying to make contact with him, and he is letting the contact be made. It's great to be friends, but by them still talking, he is (subconsciously) refusing to let go of the relationship and can't move on because of it. She might think she is doing the right thing by trying to keep talking to you, but IMO she is actually doing the opposite. You need to cut ties and move on. Just my opinion though.

[shotodrewku]

girls suck (and i dont mean it in the good way)

[styylesclash]

dude, i hate to be blunt, but you just have to get over it and move on. don't talk to her for a while, don't check her facebook, just get her out of your life and focus on you. It's the only way you'll start to feel any better and the sooner you do it the quicker you'll realize the way you're feeling now is just worthless. I say this because I've been through this myself, if not worse, and when I look back I feel like a total fool for even trying to talk to her about it. Now, we never talk and I look back at that time with regret for not moving on quicker. So as hard as it may seem, you've gotta just bite the bullet and say "fuck it."

[shotodrewku]

dude, i hate to be blunt, but you just have to get over it and move on. don't talk to her for a while, don't check her facebook, just get her out of your life and focus on you. It's the only way you'll start to feel any better and the sooner you do it the quicker you'll realize the way you're feeling now is just worthless. I say this because I've been through this myself, if not worse, and when I look back I feel like a total fool for even trying to talk to her about it. Now, we never talk and I look back at that time with regret for not moving on quicker. So as hard as it may seem, you've gotta just bite the bullet and say "fuck it."


^ is very true. if i was in ur position id be so pissed about the whole damn situation i definetely would just not talk to her ever again. ever. im also a very spiteful person when it comes to this kind of stuff i like to burn bridges lol

[preppyak]

A couple of things I'll add..

1. You are now in college, and even the best of high school relationships is usually ruined by going to college in separate places, its a different part of your life, and you should, for the most part, live it that way.

2. While it sucks that it ended, consider now that you are in a different place with different people, and that there is likely someone better than her for you now. This guy likely is a rebound, but even if that is the case it still means she is moving on from you, and you should do the same.

3. You're better off not being in a relationship where you are over an hour away...as you've probably already noticed the distance becomes an issue, and its just easier to be with someone you can be with every day without a long drive.

She might think she is doing the right thing by trying to keep talking to you, but IMO she is actually doing the opposite. You need to cut ties and move on. Just my opinion though.
I agree 100%, its what I did with my last relationship...though it ended on a sour note anyway...and it is the best thing at least for a month or two when you can get back on your feet as "you". Then, if you guys are still strong enough friends, you'll talk again, and you'll be better off for having that time apart to move on from the "we".

Its all easier said then done...but, its really the best option...make it clear to her you aren't stopping talking to her because you hate her, etc...just that you need to move on

[James_Brand]

You dated throughout most of High school. You go to college and she gets introduced to many more people. Finds one that can spend the time with her that she wants (you go to different schools; no one is at fault for this).

She breaks up with you. Waits to tell you that there is another guy, and down plays the relationship they have. Waits almost until your three year anniversary to tell you, I might add.

This isn't a rebound, sorry. You’re not being an asshole either. She decided that she wanted something different and is trying to go about it "without hurting you". But no matter what way it goes, it will hurt.

You have two choices:
1) Return the favor
2) Let her do what ever and move on

Worrying about it will mess with your head and your grades, so I suggest 2 for now. After finals, go after her best friend.

P.S. If you were to write a song bout this to put on the internet, "My Ex's Rebound" would be a good title. Just a suggestion.

[brentkid]

Damn, lot's of helpful stuff here. Thanks a lot to everyone, I really appreciate it.

The thing is I'm slowly becoming more realistic about this whole thing. I'm starting to say to myself, "That was high school and this is college." It's two completely different worlds. I mean sure we live in the same town but she's off in another world while she's away. Also, she started drinking again and so far has drank too much twice. (This is someone who went to a concert two years ago and was sent to the hospital). She can never just drink and be okay so I'm glad I don't have to tolerate that any more.

I don't think it's the talking to her that is truly my problem but more of my own inability to face reality. Being home makes it easier for me to get caught up in this whole situation because I'm exactly where we left off when we broke up. I'm reminded of everything.

I'm gonna talk to her tonight and just put it out there and make it clear that I don't hate her or anything but I need this time for myself. She took her own time off and found this guy so now I'm taking time for myself as well.

Thanks again to everyone.

[xvszero]

She broke up with you, it's over.

She may want a rebound. She may want a real boyfriend. She may want a rebound that turns into a real boyfriend. She probably has no idea what she wants.

Whatever the case, it's not your problem. And no matter what you might hope, she ain't coming back to you.

MOVE ALONG.

[FatJordan]

Once again, everyone else beats me to saying it...you just have to do your own thing now. Be better than her, go meet some new girls. Easier said than done, but it's really the only thing you can do.

And please, never wear the shirt you're wearing in your profile picture ever again. Ever.

[brentkid]

Once again, everyone else beats me to saying it...you just have to do your own thing now. Be better than her, go meet some new girls. Easier said than done, but it's really the only thing you can do.

And please, never wear the shirt you're wearing in your profile picture ever again. Ever.
Haha, that was a while ago. I don't even have it any more.

[lauren<3s music]

Wow no girls have posted yet here it goes. Short and sweet. Lose the bitch. Any girl who pulls crap like that is self centered and will continue to fuck with you so long as you let her. Go out and have a good time and you'll find someone who appreciates you for you and won't act like she's in middle school

[TheGoodnightMoon]

I was in the same position as you last year, the ONLY way to move on is stop talking to her. Seriously, it sounds like bs at first but eventually it works like a charm, and you're able to go about your life without even thinking about her.

[brentkid]

So as of last night apparently, they are going out.

As much as this hurts I do feel like I'm freed from all of this bullshit in a way.

She's the one who did this shit two weeks after we broke up. Can't wait to be bombarded by questions next week when everyone comes home from school again. Wonder what people will think.

[vanityxisxkey]

So as of last night apparently, they are going out.

As much as this hurts I do feel like I'm freed from all of this bullshit in a way.

She's the one who did this shit two weeks after we broke up. Can't wait to be bombarded by questions next week when everyone comes home from school again. Wonder what people will think.


Who cares what people are going to think? Not to sound mean but yeah. The answer to everyone's questions should be as simple as "Things weren't working out."

There's no point in stressing yourself about it. Go out and have fun.

[cavein86]

ehh forget her....you're still young...in a few years you'll be laughing about all this.

[brentkid]

Yeah, I talked to her.

I feel pretty good. I'm free from the bounds of a relationship. Let her deal with another relationship and all the bullshit that comes with it.

[RedWineSheets]

ehh forget her....you're still young...in a few years you'll be laughing about all this.

this is my response to anyone under the age of 30.

[brentkid]

this is my response to anyone under the age of 30.
Yeah. I'm done with relationships for a while. It's a waste of time at this point. I rather live my life while I'm young to prepare myself for the heavy boundaries of a marriage.

[fedhed7]

I'm currently in a very similar situation.

I was going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years. For one of those years I was in College and she was a Senior in high school. To make a long story short, we broke up when she went to college. She wanted to experience being free of restrictions, I guess.

I still anticipated that we were going to hook up when we were both home, like during thanksgiving and winter break, but not have any commitments, which would have been perfect. She even texted me a few weeks before asking if i wanted to hook up during thanksgiving. So basically, I was set.

This thanksgiving, she came over late on the first night we were back. We watched an episode of The Office and were laying in my bed. after its over i go to kiss her and she says to stop. I ask her why. She says she's "seeing someone".

To shorten the story even more, she got a new boyfriend after only a month of breaking up with me. I honestly talked to her pretty often for 3 months up to this point, and she never even mentioned any guys.

Essentially, she didn't tell me because she "didn't want to hurt me" and BS like that. honestly, her lying about it and then subsequently leading me on was worse than anything else she's ever done to me. At this point we're hardly talking and I don't expect to hold any conversations with her any time soon.

It sucks and it hurts but you just have to get over it. I know it's cliche but its the truth.

[chronomic]

Wow no girls have posted yet here it goes. Short and sweet. Lose the bitch. Any girl who pulls crap like that is self centered and will continue to fuck with you so long as you let her. Go out and have a good time and you'll find someone who appreciates you for you and won't act like she's in middle school

hell yeah. cut ties and never look back. shes a fucked up self centered bitch.

(i can relate almost entirely, cept my ex was a manic depressive, carving, bulimic mess.)

[anamericangod]

I saw my ex today. She looked so fucking horrible I didn't even recognize her at first. Pretty sure she has the bird flu or some shit.

[doodoobutter]

I saw my ex today. She looked so fucking horrible I didn't even recognize her at first. Pretty sure she has the bird flu or some shit.

^^^
i lol'd at this.

anyways, i was with a girl for 4 1/2 years (that's forever in dog years) anyways i broke it off with no animosity and no intentions of getting together with anyone else. trust me, once you've had a little time for yourself, you will feel like,"damn, how come this didn't end sooner?" seriously giving yourself some time will ultimately be the best thing. because you think for yourself and not think for 2 people.

[simplelivin_GCH]

I saw my ex today. She looked so fucking horrible I didn't even recognize her at first. Pretty sure she has the bird flu or some shit.

isnt that the best when you're ex has a horrible disease...i love it
...especially when theyve already made you feel as shitty as they look.
...your comment made my day haha

[brentkid]

^^^
i lol'd at this.

anyways, i was with a girl for 4 1/2 years (that's forever in dog years) anyways i broke it off with no animosity and no intentions of getting together with anyone else. trust me, once you've had a little time for yourself, you will feel like,"damn, how come this didn't end sooner?" seriously giving yourself some time will ultimately be the best thing. because you think for yourself and not think for 2 people.
That's how I'm looking at it. I'm actually excited to be on my own and not have to answer to anyone. I don't have to play any balancing act between her and friends either. I don't have to worry about getting in late and calling or any shit. Sucks to be her honestly.

The funny thing is that winter break is in two weeks and only this kid can drive because she never got her license. Let the fun begin.

The other part is how all our friends are suddenly siding with me over this shit and calling the kid a rebound.

Life is good.

[Scuba Chris]

^^^
i lol'd at this.

anyways, i was with a girl for 4 1/2 years (that's forever in dog years) anyways i broke it off with no animosity and no intentions of getting together with anyone else. trust me, once you've had a little time for yourself, you will feel like,"damn, how come this didn't end sooner?" seriously giving yourself some time will ultimately be the best thing. because you think for yourself and not think for 2 people.
Yeah, it was pretty much the same with me. I was with someone for almost 5 years then we broke up and I was crushed. I took me awhile to get over her. It's been two years since and I now have new girlfriend and look back and wonder why I put up with so much shit for so long. I know it's hard to think like this now, but things will get better, it just takes some time.

I will echo what everyone else said, you have to cut ties. de-friend her on facebook and myspace, take her screen name off your buddy list. don't talk to her at all. you need to get her out of your mind. Then just remember why it's so awesome to be single. No obligations, no phone calls, no stupid movies and dinners. You can hook up with random girls. You are in college man, enjoy it. Hope things work out for the best.

[lauren<3s music]

That's how I'm looking at it. I'm actually excited to be on my own and not have to answer to anyone. I don't have to play any balancing act between her and friends either. I don't have to worry about getting in late and calling or any shit. Sucks to be her honestly.

The funny thing is that winter break is in two weeks and only this kid can drive because she never got her license. Let the fun begin.

The other part is how all our friends are suddenly siding with me over this shit and calling the kid a rebound.

Life is good.

just remember to ignore her ass when she tries to pull the "its the holidays i'm lonely bullshit." just remember once a bitch always a bitch.

[brentkid]

Hearing about these relationships longer than mine give me a lot to look forward to. If you can get over four..five years of a relationship it makes mine seem pretty irrelevant.

Honestly I'm glad I didn't do what she did. Find someone else to immediately start another relationship with. I think about how badass it's going to be over winter break in a week to be single and so whatever I want.

You are all awesome for the support and advice. Thanks to everyone.

[Dan CiTi]

Living well is the best revenge.

[brentkid]

Living well is the best revenge.
So true and I am so going to listen to that album right now.

[brentkid]

Didn't want to make a new thread so sorry for the old bump.

Last night, as I expected would eventually happen, she confessed that she doesn't really care for this guy. She doesn't love him, doesn't see it going anywhere and won't tell her parents about him because it doesn't even feel "real". Then she told me that she realizes he was nothing but a distraction for her and that she thought she would be happier but realized that wasn't the case. She said she still loved me and missed what we had. She even apologized for fucking up and said that it was her fault that things went the way they did.

The bad part is that I really miss her too and just want to get back together. Fucked up, I know, but I miss her way too much and I suppose everything happens for a reason.

However, to make it even worse. She's afraid to say anything to the guy or break up with him because she's afraid of hurting someone again like she hurt me. I tried convincing her that it was bullshit but she just kept saying, "I don't know what else to do." So of course she's had plans from like a month ago to go up to his town with all her friends from college tonight for New Years despite telling me everything she did for the sake of not hurting him. Talk about annoying. I'm sure it'll hit her tonight when the ball drops and she's with the kid and not me.

In a way I find it funny that I called what would happen. She thought she'd find something better and is now trapping herself in a relationship where she's unhappy. Sucks this is on my mind on fucking New Years though...

[mrzippo3]

Classic story, the break up, the rebound, the take back.. You're making a huge mistake my friend, trust me, you will regret it later.

[SwishMX48]

Put on "Have at Thee" and go have fun at college, forget her

[brentkid]

I'm not saying I want to just take her back like that. I mean she's giving me this bullshit about how she doesn't want to upset the kid by breaking up with him. I'm more irritated by the fact that she is able to tell me all this shit, just like before they were going out, and just pretend like everything is okay with him. The kid has no idea how she really feels.

I don't know. It's New Years Eve tonight and I get to have this bullshit on my conscience while she goes up to see him like everything is perfect between them. If this were any other day at any other time I wouldn't really give two shits. I'm just one of those nerds that thinks like, "Oh boy, it's a new year! Fresh start!" Yet I have to be thinking about this shit when the clock hits 12 tonight. Awesome.

[vixsummer]

My ex and I went back and forth for two YEARS doing stuff like this, I wasted my time in college and it's the only thing I really regret in my life. I know you miss her, but be strong. She didn't respect what you had, and walked away to be with this other guy - who means enough to her for her to play the same exact "i dont want to hurt him" game that she played with you. For you to consider taking her back, she should have to prove to you that she's serious.

[brentkid]

My ex and I went back and forth for two YEARS doing stuff like this, I wasted my time in college and it's the only thing I really regret in my life. I know you miss her, but be strong. She didn't respect what you had, and walked away to be with this other guy - who means enough to her for her to play the same exact "i dont want to hurt him" game that she played with you. For you to consider taking her back, she should have to prove to you that she's serious.
It's just I know she's unhappy with that kid and it makes no sense to me why she's forcing herself to be nice to him. Honestly, on Wednesday or maybe even Tuesday I'm going to be upfront and say, "Listen it's not fair you tell me all of this and keep the kid out of it. You did this before and it shouldn't be so one sided. I shouldn't have to bare all the weight on my shoulders because you can't be honest with him. I mean if you can't even tell him what you really feel what sort of relationship are you really in? I'm not saying it's me or him but don't you dare go and fill me with false hope. You need to figure this out before the we go back for spring semester because I am not willing to sit around for months like I did the first time."

I don't know. Something like that.

[vixsummer]

It's just I know she's unhappy with that kid and it makes no sense to me why she's forcing herself to be nice to him. Honestly, on Wednesday or maybe even Tuesday I'm going to be upfront and say, "Listen it's not fair you tell me all of this and keep the kid out of it. You did this before and it shouldn't be so one sided. I shouldn't have to bare all the weight on my shoulders because you can't be honest with him. I mean if you can't even tell him what you really feel what sort of relationship are you really in? I'm not saying it's me or him but don't you dare go and fill me with false hope. You need to figure this out before the we go back for spring semester because I am not willing to sit around for months like I did the first time."

I don't know. Something like that.


I think thats a very nice and understanding response. But nice and understanding only works for her. Lets say she breaks up with this kid and you two get back together. Are you going to be able handle knowing that she had been hooking up with him all this time, or that he was her New Years kiss? What if they hang out, or he writes on her facebook wall again? How will you know she's not going to go back to school and go to him and say that she doesn't know why she got back together with you, when he's the one for her?

She seems like she's REALLY confused. If she was the one asking for advice, I'd say she should try to be single for a little while until she knew what she really wanted.

She has to figure out if she wants to be with him regardless of her feelings for you, so let her do that. I'd take a step back until she figures out what to do, and even then, I'd be cautious.

[billyboatkid]

Don't worry once she realizes what she gave up (and they all do) you'll either be over it or will have the choice to take her back or leave her in the dust. Be wise, this happened to me recently too it does suck real bad, but i think you'll be ok.

EDIT: Guess I was a little late my bad

[jagermeister]

All you need to know...

You broke up, she found someone new, life goes on and there are more fish in the sea.

Shit happens. Don't be a pussy about it.

[brentkid]

I think thats a very nice and understanding response. But nice and understanding only works for her. Lets say she breaks up with this kid and you two get back together. Are you going to be able handle knowing that she had been hooking up with him all this time, or that he was her New Years kiss? What if they hang out, or he writes on her facebook wall again? How will you know she's not going to go back to school and go to him and say that she doesn't know why she got back together with you, when he's the one for her?

She seems like she's REALLY confused. If she was the one asking for advice, I'd say she should try to be single for a little while until she knew what she really wanted.

She has to figure out if she wants to be with him regardless of her feelings for you, so let her do that. I'd take a step back until she figures out what to do, and even then, I'd be cautious.
I'm honestly the bigger person in this whole situation. I wouldn't hold it against her for hooking up with this guy or anything, especially after everything she said. It sort of just discredits everything they've done together anyway. I do think this will hit her pretty hard tonight considering how she claims to feel about him and basically lying to her entire family about where she will be tonight.

I think it'd be a little immature to get upset about hooking up with him. I mean she had been with people before me as well and it didn't stop me then. I rather look at the context. At least she wasn't completely whoring herself out to every guy that would give her attention. I rather stand up and do my best to handle that.

As for the two of them keeping in touch...I know what you mean. They don't go to the same school, and he lives pretty far away normally, it's just he's in that honeymooners stage with her so no matter the distance he'll be the bitch and drive to her no matter how long. I've known her for a long time and I'm pretty sure I believe she's meant everything she's said. She wouldn't have gone out of her way to get in touch with me. I've also been thinking about telling her she needs some time to herself. I honestly think I want her to just end it with the kid more than I want to get back together with her right now. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it but it's true. It's just beyond my comprehension as to why she is staying with him. Luckily I never got my hopes up so I'm not completely hanging on everything she's said because I still do sort of like being single right now. I just hate uncertainty in my life and that's what's irritating me right now.

[jagermeister]

She isn't yours anymore. You have no right to be mad at her, or him.

[brentkid]

What are you even talking about? She said she didn't care for this kid anymore and wished that she could get back together with me.

I never said I was mad at either of them. I said it was irritating that she tells me all of this and how the relationship isn't even "real" according to her yet she's afraid to end it with him. She should be saying that to him, not me. That's what isn't right.

[jagermeister]

She is just fucking with you.
She can't make up her mind.
It shouldn't be this hard to decide if she wants to be with you or not.

If she needs time to think about it or whatever then there is obviously something about you she doesn't like.

But if she REALLY wanted you, it wouldn't be this difficult to tell you.

[IamTheINDUSTRY]

So this past Monday I decided I've had enough of sitting in idle - my life has felt like it's been on hold for two months over this. d


your whole post doesn't make it sound like you have "had enough". if you have TRULY had enough you wouldn't be talking to this girl. this is why high school relationships do not translate to college. it happens to almost everyone - including me. you have got to come to the end of your rope, and continuing to talk to this chick is only going to make it worse on you. checking her facebook is only going to make it worse on you. you dont have to give her a reason for not wanting to talk to her. she doesnt deserve that. but more than just for the sake of being a bitter dick to her, YOU need this for yourself. obviously just having you around is enough for her. cut that out and i guarantee you will have plenty of late night phone calls on your hands down the road when things go wrong for her - but that's beside the point. you need to cut her out for your own sanity. wasting the 1 life you have been given/ "putting it on hold" on this one girl is ridiculous. i know its hard to believe, but lots of maturing happens in college, and youll eventually see that this wasnt worth the long nights spent worrying about whether 1 girl out of 500 bazillion in the world was liking another dude.

[IamTheINDUSTRY]

What are you even talking about? She said she didn't care for this kid anymore and wished that she could get back together with me.

I never said I was mad at either of them. I said it was irritating that she tells me all of this and how the relationship isn't even "real" according to her yet she's afraid to end it with him. She should be saying that to him, not me. That's what isn't right.


if i were you i just would stop picking up the phone when the girl calls. it works wonders for everything.

[3mpire]

Just cut off all ties, don't talk to her for a couple of months and you'll be fine.

[mrzippo3]

I think thats a very nice and understanding response. But nice and understanding only works for her. Lets say she breaks up with this kid and you two get back together. Are you going to be able handle knowing that she had been hooking up with him all this time, or that he was her New Years kiss? What if they hang out, or he writes on her facebook wall again? How will you know she's not going to go back to school and go to him and say that she doesn't know why she got back together with you, when he's the one for her?

She seems like she's REALLY confused. If she was the one asking for advice, I'd say she should try to be single for a little while until she knew what she really wanted.

She has to figure out if she wants to be with him regardless of her feelings for you, so let her do that. I'd take a step back until she figures out what to do, and even then, I'd be cautious.
Very wise words. If you don't listen to this girl ^^ then you are shooting yourself in the foot. Judging from this guy's responses to this and other quotes in this thread, he's just headed for disaster, just let him figure it out for himself and bump this thread 6 months from now saying how right everyone was. Damn shame, but we've all been there.

[mybreakingpoint]

Do what I did; just don't talk to her for a while.

And not "for a couple weeks", but maybe not until summer when you can hang out face-to-face again.

That's what I did, and my ex & I are still very close. I'm still the first person she calls when she's upset; I was the first person she told when her mom told her that her Dad had died.

Time really does heal all wounds; let it go, let her go, give each other some space, and eventually you'll have a great friend again.

[immorehxcthanu]

Wow no girls have posted yet here it goes. Short and sweet. Lose the bitch. Any girl who pulls crap like that is self centered and will continue to fuck with you so long as you let her. Go out and have a good time and you'll find someone who appreciates you for you and won't act like she's in middle school

I'd have to agree with you on that. I can never understand why so many girls love starting immature shit like that.

[brentkid]

I sort of decided to stop being such a pussy about this actually. I've been giving her the cold shoulder. I really don't attempt to get in touch with her at all. If she meant what she said then let her get herself fucked over. It's not my problem nor my responsibility to help her out. She needs to get her shit together on her own. At least I realize that now.

[lauren<3s music]

I sort of decided to stop being such a pussy about this actually. I've been giving her the cold shoulder. I really don't attempt to get in touch with her at all. If she meant what she said then let her get herself fucked over. It's not my problem nor my responsibility to help her out. She needs to get her shit together on her own. At least I realize that now.

good for you. its a new year. lose the old weight

[brentkid]

good for you. its a new year. lose the old weight
Thanks. I just finally convinced myself that it's not fair that she hits me with all this emotional bs and doesn't say a word to that kid. That right there proves to me that she has a horrible relationship and probably really is unhappy like she says. However, if she is confused and all, I don't need to hang around and hold her hand through that either. She'll come crawling back the second she finally realizes that she is the only one that can do anything about her situation but for now let her delude herself into thinking her only option is to sacrifice her happiness for some kid she's known for four months. AWESOME.

Haha. It's sort of developed into one huge joke for me. She's basically putting on a show for this kid. Luckily I've found my way out thanks to people being brutally honest on here.

[lauren<3s music]

hahaha well im glad it all worked out or you

[brentkid]

So for anyone that cares. I talked to her. I told her it's unfair that she complains to me about how she feels when she has a boyfriend that should be listening to that. Of course she got all pissy and just said, "I won't tell you anymore so dont worry about it," but we all know that's bullshit. I'm sure I'll be getting some message sooner or later about how miserable she is because I know she's not going to just turn around and start telling him everything. She's also under the impression that I'm going to "ttyl" but I'm not bothering. Let her deal with her own problems. She's changed and I shouldn't have to convince someone who said they loved me for three years to be with me.

[PadraicPrincess]

It's nice to watch this thread progress, you as well. I think you came a long way, and good job for sticking up for yourself.