Problems. pot/girls

[stupidtyonparad]

so this girl who was going to see brand new with me who ive had a real strong but good/bad relationship for about 3 years with doesnt want to go anymore cause we hit a bad spot and stopped talking. the show is thursday

we just started talking again today and i found out she started smoking pot. im real against pot too so it was a huge bummer cause it seems like everybody smokes nowadays and she said she never would

but how do i convince her to get over the "itll be awkward" scare and go to the concert
and then whats the best way to get somebody to stop smoking?

[thetrueblood]

tell her to smoke before she goes and she'll be chill as fuck.

[stupidtyonparad]

yo, you missed the point, i hate people who smoke
it pisses me off

[thetrueblood]

why does it piss you off? how is affecting you?

[stupidtyonparad]

cause its bad for you and i worry about my friends and people i care about more than myself
its a problem i wish i didnt have

[thetrueblood]

cause its bad for you and i worry about my friends and people i care about more than myself
its a problem i wish i didnt have

do you worry about your friends if they eat fast food? or what about when they ride in a car (which kill 1.2 million people per year)?

Just because you view it as a negative practice, doesn't mean you're "caring" for your friends by imposing your beliefs on them.

Unless you can provide some proof to how smoking is negatively affecting her life, I'd keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, she'll probably just end up hating you.

[cora_ann]

so this girl who was going to see brand new with me who ive had a real strong but good/bad relationship for about 3 years with doesnt want to go anymore cause we hit a bad spot and stopped talking. the show is thursday

we just started talking again today and i found out she started smoking pot. im real against pot too so it was a huge bummer cause it seems like everybody smokes nowadays and she said she never would

but how do i convince her to get over the "itll be awkward" scare and go to the concert
and then whats the best way to get somebody to stop smoking?
You can't get anyone to stop smoking pot if they don't want to. That is a battle you will lose.

[stupidtyonparad]

that doesnt help the concert situation though

talking about two above me..

[cora_ann]

Well I would say that there is no good way to convince someone a situation won't be awkward. Try and keep in contact with her throughout the week and see how it goes from there.

[brentkid]

so this girl who was going to see brand new with me who ive had a real strong but good/bad relationship for about 3 years with doesnt want to go anymore cause we hit a bad spot and stopped talking. the show is thursday

we just started talking again today and i found out she started smoking pot. im real against pot too so it was a huge bummer cause it seems like everybody smokes nowadays and she said she never would

but how do i convince her to get over the "itll be awkward" scare and go to the concert
and then whats the best way to get somebody to stop smoking?
Dude, I used to be the same way about smoking pot. I don't agree with it but it's one of those things you should just accept because it's not going to change. People don't really like when you refer to your own morality when criticizing what they're doing.

Trust me, just let it go.

[alcoholandirony]

i hate it when girls don't want to do something because "I don't like ____. It'll be weird!!" Seriously? Just grow up!

Good luck to you. I agree that keeping in contact with her is the best idea.

[SonEric84]

yo, you missed the point, i hate people who smoke
it pisses me off

Honestly, I know how you feel. It's stupid...but basically everyone does it nowadays. There's not much you can do outside of just telling her you're concerned for her well-being. Don't make it like you don't want her to do it just because you hate it. Tell her she shouldn't do it because it doesn't have any kind of positive affect on your life. Just talk to her and tell her to go to the concert and the only way it will be awkward is if she has it in her head that it will be.

[seesky?fly.]

tell her to smoke before she goes and she'll be chill as fuck.
haha i agree

[seesky?fly.]

i started a whi;e back, but only because of a personal reason. maybe there's a lot of shit going on with her right now she wants to blot out. just tell her that it'll be good for you guys to go to the concert together cause it could bring you together a little more. if not just rip up the ticket in from of her face, ha.

[hopeforthebest]

I had a problem like this too, I dated a girl for 4 years we got into bad times. Went to to seperate colleges, she went to a art school in philly. Everyone there did not respect that she didn't do anything. I'm straight edge and she never wanted to smoke or drink. Well I got tickets for Days Away and she didn't want to go. I found out she drinks and smokes cigs and a lot of pot. She knows I hate that crap and I would never go out with someone if they did that stuff. Besides getting into the whole what happen between us, here is advice. It is true that you have to accept what people do, everyone does it, just don't put yourself into it. And for the concert, this is the best advice I can give and it will be good in the long run, leave her. Find someone else to go with, even though this might be late, and never talk to her again if you don't like the way she became. It was the best decision I've made

haha typical u of arts and art institute students.

[breaking news!]

:/ pot isnt a huge deal--she could be doing worse.

[stupidtyonparad]

well shit just hit the fan
im not worried about the concert, ill find somebody else, im more worried about her now cause shes becmoing a different person and shes going down a really bad road and its not just the pot. but i really got under her skin and im kinda glad i did, cause stuff might actually sink into her head now cause she knows im looking out for her best interests and that her new friends dont care about anything besides getting in her pants and getting high

[updownleftright]

so this girl who was going to see brand new with me who ive had a real strong but good/bad relationship for about 3 years with doesnt want to go anymore cause we hit a bad spot and stopped talking. the show is thursday

we just started talking again today and i found out she started smoking pot. im real against pot too so it was a huge bummer cause it seems like everybody smokes nowadays and she said she never would

but how do i convince her to get over the "itll be awkward" scare and go to the concert
and then whats the best way to get somebody to stop smoking?

since you have 3 years under your belt, give her an ultimatum. if she doesn't quit, then you don't want to be with her. if she chooses pot over you, what does that say about your relationship?

[TakingBackDowd]

my english teacher marked my paper 15 points off just because i used the word "nowadays" on a essay. bullshit.

[luv2laff88]

my english teacher marked my paper 15 points off just because i used the word "nowadays" on a essay. bullshit.


thats because its a cliche/overused phrase. english professors frown upon those :( i still use them.

[brentkid]

since you have 3 years under your belt, give her an ultimatum. if she doesn't quit, then you don't want to be with her. if she chooses pot over you, what does that say about your relationship?
The ultimatum could fuck him over though. She could go all independent on him and say he can't control what she does. At least that's what my ex used to do.

I guess that would sort of say something about her though so I'm not sure.

[stupidtyonparad]

yeah she chose the "you cant tell me what to do" route, she told me she hates me and not to talk to her, but you could tell it was just she was mad cause she didnt know what to say. she knows i care about her but she doesnt want to show it
she'll come around, it might take a while, but she will.

[brentkid]

It sucks, I know how you feel. I was with my ex for three years and I didn't agree with her smoking. It wasn't because I wanted to control what she did or anything - I genuinely cared for her and didn't think she should be doing that sort of thing.

It's just hard to deal with this sort of situation.

[updownleftright]

playing the 'i hate you' card is just.. so low. i could never be in a relationship where something like that was just tossed around.

[brentkid]

playing the 'i hate you' card is just.. so low. i could never be in a relationship where something like that was just tossed around.
I hate dwelling but maybe a day or two before my girlfriend asked for a break which led to break up two days later, she said she hated a part of me. I remember hanging up from that phone call and just crying like a bitch because I'd never heard someone say "I hate you" and really sound like they meant it.

So yeah, you're right.

[stupidtyonparad]

its harsh
but she had also told me two weeks ago that shell always love me (as a friend i think) and that had a lot more meaning than her saying she hates me
shes just hit a dark spot in her life
shell come around, she always does, and then i can actually try and help her get it back on track

[Intertwined]

If you believe that smoking is bad and morally wrong and it upsets you, I say don't date her. Would you date someone who sneezed four times if it annoyed you? That question should solve your problem.

[chris1152]

Hating people that smoke just doesn't work. I used to be sorta like that but I just let it go and let people be who they are. Different strokes for different folks.

And pot doesn't really have that much of a detrimental effect on you. I don't smoke but I know several people that do and still lead a successful life. It can be a vice and if you let it control you it'll ruin your life, but so can many other things such as video games, food, music, etc.

If it really irks you, just politely ask her to not do so around you. She should understand as long as she isn't a bitch.

Edit: just read your update so I guess this post doesn't really apply now. Mah badzzzz.

[notoaststereo]

so this girl who was going to see brand new with me who ive had a real strong but good/bad relationship for about 3 years with doesnt want to go anymore cause we hit a bad spot and stopped talking. the show is thursday

we just started talking again today and i found out she started smoking pot. im real against pot too so it was a huge bummer cause it seems like everybody smokes nowadays and she said she never would

but how do i convince her to get over the "itll be awkward" scare and go to the concert
and then whats the best way to get somebody to stop smoking?sweet avatar.


i dont have anythiing good to say about your situation. people change. you just have to deal with it.

[TakingBackDowd]

thats because its a cliche/overused phrase. english professors frown upon those :( i still use them.

no it wasnt even because of that it was because idk like its a word you can say out loud but you cant write it on paper. idk some bullshit whatever

[Alexxx]

Stop bitching about smoking.

[Alexxx]

my english teacher marked my paper 15 points off just because i used the word "nowadays" on a essay. bullshit.
According to Firefox, that is a word.

[luv2laff88]

According to Firefox, that is a word.


it is a word dumbass. did i not already say that its a cliche/OVERUSED word that professors do not like?

[TakingBackDowd]

first of all chill out luv2laff... i dont think he was insulting you... just chill.

and DrumFreak, thats what i thought too, since ive written it in essays before and it sucks this teacher happened to take 15 points off like it was a tragedy. its bush league

[luv2laff88]

we're supposed to be talking about pot/girls here. lol not essays!!

LAME.

[popdisaster00]

There is nothing wrong with you smoking pot and you have no reason to judge her for that. It's a completely social and harmless activity. Doesn't change who she is as a person. If you like her, let loose about the weed and don't let something like that get in the way of a positive thing.

[asshat]

first off, from a recreational drug users point of view, there is nothing i hate more than someone telling me to stop because they are bad for me...well they arent as bad for you as you may think but to play the devils advocate: we are all well aware of the dangers (hence why they are illegal) but we choose to do them anyways.

i understand everyone has their own values and morals but pushing them upon others is just rude...telling someone you are concerned is one thing, trying to change their habits, even if you disagree with them...just annoying.

[dretti]

I love pot. I used to be against to long ago, but then I tried it and instantly fell in love. Pot is really misunderstood as a drug. It's pretty harmless for the most part. I would much rather have somebody smoke than drink an excessive amount of alcohol.

[williek311]

Don't be such a little bitch and fuck her.

[mrzippo3]

This chick likes to get high? Give me her number, I'll smoke with her and take her to shows.

[xvszero]

This reminds me of the girl I had a crush on in high school.

Turned out she was insane. I wouldn't worry too much about her, move on.

[vixsummer]

as much as he cant tell her to stop smoking, you cant tell him to stop disliking pot smoking. when i was in HS, i hated it too, and the guy i was seeing became a total pothead and it caused massive issues in our relationship. now i smoke on occasion, but if its something he cares about its just as valid.

and idk if its been resolved or not, but a concert is pretty much the best place you can go with someone who might be awkward around you. not a lot of talking, you can watch the band, and if you "get lost" in the crowd you dont even need to hang out with her. (just dont ditch her there lol)

[cuetheflames]

answer: start smoking pot and stop being a cock. there is nothing wrong with pot.

[cuetheflames]

the only people i take at all seriously that are against pot are people who've tried and just straight up dont like it (which is still a rareity).

[panic !!]

It was tyler school of art, and yes I agree, not to sterotype but art school kids are all about drugs and drinking than anyone.

sorry to hear about your friend conforming to the stereotypical 'art student.' I go to UArts & its seriously SO hard for me to make friends because i dont drink/smoke either & so many people do here.

[jagermeister]

Basically this is what it comes down to:

You can't accept that as people grow up, they change and sometimes people drift apart. Yeah, you want it to stay the same - but if its not then thats life.

Smoking pot has no bad effects on your life, and it wont kill her. She could be doing A LOT worse.

So you should either accept her for who she has become, because she doesn't sound like a bad person just someone YOU don't agree with and when its you VS 6 billion others good luck.

[karenmarq]

she probably just started smoking because you got in a fight; as a way to piss you off. just say it's crap.though who am i to say...
if you were friends for a long time, it WON'T be awkward...