Misguided jealousy?

[TheAtticusFinch]

Ok so here's the deal, I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 months now. She's the first girl I've been with in about a year and a half. I had a really bad break up that time and it took me until finding the girl I'm with now until I finally put it behind me. It feels really nice to, I guess, be in love again. She compliments everything in my personality and we're really crazy about eachother. Our relationship was rock solid up until a few weeks ago. She's 2 years younger than me and is still a Senior in high school. She was running a fashion show at her school and was spending alot of time with a friend of hers, a guy that she's known for quite some time. He had had a girlfriend but she recently broke up with him and now I find them spending alot of time together after school and stuff. She drives him home and hang out at his house with him and all that. She tells me that he's like a best friend to her, but she feels he might be developing feelings. He knows she's with me but that doesn't really make me feel too much better. We don't see eachother as much as we used to and whenever we do, she likes to talk about him and the stuff they did in school. He calls her while we're together, and usually is upset over something. I know it would be in my right to be upset or jealous over this stuff, but here's the catch... he lives in a 3 room apartment with his dad and has close to nothing in his life, especially after his girlfriend left him. Having my girlfriend as a close friend, both she and I feel, helps him out alot. I know it would be wrong of me to expect her not to see him as much, because I know she wants to be there for him. It just seems like we haven't been the same since this all started. She's told me she's been feeling really stressed out and I want to play it cool so as not to make things worse. I just can't help feeling that she'd rather be hanging out with him then hanging out with me. So I'm in a position right now where being a jealous boyfriend will end up blowing up in my face. What should I do?

[updownleftright]

honestly doesn't sound like you can do much, just be there for her and him. showing her that you're cool about her hanging out with him and vice versa would really help. sounds like you pretty much answered it yourself by saying it will blow up in your face if you're jealous.

[popdisaster00]

Shit dude. I would feel the exact same way you do. But she also needs to know how you feel about it. Nobody in any relationship wants to be told not to see somebody, but the truth is it happens in nearly every relationship. We are only human and no one likes to see their girl with another guy. I get jealous seeing my girl with this guy who she's been friends with since high school. They don't really hang out or anything but when they do, it's just like "errrrgh. fuck that guy", you know? So don't feel bad. You are totally normal to be jealous. But it is true that she would be pissed if you told her not to see him. If she does think that he is developing feeligns though, she should not be hanging out with him. Maybe you should try to get her (or you can try yourself) to hook him up with a lady so you can get yours back, you know? THe thing is, she needs to know how you feel..

[ieatcrayons4fun]

Shit dude. I would feel the exact same way you do. But she also needs to know how you feel about it. Nobody in any relationship wants to be told not to see somebody, but the truth is it happens in nearly every relationship. We are only human and no one likes to see their girl with another guy. I get jealous seeing my girl with this guy who she's been friends with since high school. They don't really hang out or anything but when they do, it's just like "errrrgh. fuck that guy", you know? So don't feel bad. You are totally normal to be jealous. But it is true that she would be pissed if you told her not to see him. If she does think that he is developing feeligns though, she should not be hanging out with him. Maybe you should try to get her (or you can try yourself) to hook him up with a lady so you can get yours back, you know? THe thing is, she needs to know how you feel..


well said.

[Dervela]

Shit dude. I would feel the exact same way you do. But she also needs to know how you feel about it. Nobody in any relationship wants to be told not to see somebody, but the truth is it happens in nearly every relationship. We are only human and no one likes to see their girl with another guy. I get jealous seeing my girl with this guy who she's been friends with since high school. They don't really hang out or anything but when they do, it's just like "errrrgh. fuck that guy", you know? So don't feel bad. You are totally normal to be jealous. But it is true that she would be pissed if you told her not to see him. If she does think that he is developing feeligns though, she should not be hanging out with him. Maybe you should try to get her (or you can try yourself) to hook him up with a lady so you can get yours back, you know? THe thing is, she needs to know how you feel..

agreed. def tell her how you feel and explain how things aren't like they used to be or that you want to spend more time together. jealousy is human nature so don't let it bother you.. if she's really into you she'll understand how you're feeling. a situation similar to this actually just happened to one of my best friends. she didn't end up saying anything, in attempt to not seem like the jealous type. her bf of like seven months ended up breaking up with her because he said he was starting to have feelings for the other girl (who recently split with her ex). i would def let her know how you're feeling though so at least you're being honest with her.

[chronomic]

fuck relationships. they should be outlawed. free love 4lyife nigrazz

[brentkid]

I don't like people messing with my emotions regardless of the circumstances. I know your girlfriend isn't doing anything intentional but I would definitely let her know whats on your mind. I mean you can be there for somebody without literally seeing them everyday and hanging out together. It could simply mean answering a phone call or text.

[roxy]

Met him at a fashion show....hmmmm

[KidRobot]

Definitely not misguided in my opinion...but you have to be open with her and tell her how you feel. Don't be overbearing about it and you have to respect her wish to hang out with him. Trusting her is all you may be able to do.

[IcedOpethBlind]

maybe he's gay

[dannytheschid]

You gotta hope she makes the right decision. However, a lot of girls tend to be really stupid in these situations where they have a guy 'friend' who obviously has feelings for them. She needs to be clear right now with him that she has no feelings for him. If she suspects he has feelings for her, then she's probably right and she should do something about it.

[SubrosaSeductiv]

Ok so here's the deal, I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 months now. She's the first girl I've been with in about a year and a half. I had a really bad break up that time and it took me until finding the girl I'm with now until I finally put it behind me. It feels really nice to, I guess, be in love again. She compliments everything in my personality and we're really crazy about eachother. Our relationship was rock solid up until a few weeks ago. She's 2 years younger than me and is still a Senior in high school. She was running a fashion show at her school and was spending alot of time with a friend of hers, a guy that she's known for quite some time. He had had a girlfriend but she recently broke up with him and now I find them spending alot of time together after school and stuff. She drives him home and hang out at his house with him and all that. She tells me that he's like a best friend to her, but she feels he might be developing feelings. He knows she's with me but that doesn't really make me feel too much better. We don't see eachother as much as we used to and whenever we do, she likes to talk about him and the stuff they did in school. He calls her while we're together, and usually is upset over something. I know it would be in my right to be upset or jealous over this stuff, but here's the catch... he lives in a 3 room apartment with his dad and has close to nothing in his life, especially after his girlfriend left him. Having my girlfriend as a close friend, both she and I feel, helps him out alot. I know it would be wrong of me to expect her not to see him as much, because I know she wants to be there for him. It just seems like we haven't been the same since this all started. She's told me she's been feeling really stressed out and I want to play it cool so as not to make things worse. I just can't help feeling that she'd rather be hanging out with him then hanging out with me. So I'm in a position right now where being a jealous boyfriend will end up blowing up in my face. What should I do?

I can put bets on her cheating on you, or at least developing feelings for this guy. Her saying she is stressed is her projecting her guilt onto you. This exact same thing happened to me. Legitimately the similarity is ridiculous. I convinced myself for too long that it wasn't.

You just need to man up and tell her how you feel. You aren't responsible for this kids personal life, neither is your girlfriend. Lame excuse. Straight up ask her what is going on and if she denies it there is nothing you can do, but catch her, or find out with time.