View Full Version : thank YOU, college.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 05:50 PM
so i get up from the couch from watching my 3rd syndicated scrubs episode of the day... and walk to the kitchen to grab some chips. and, well, the next door neighbor is free-whacking it, ass-naked on his couch. to understand this, there's a viewing path from our kitchen to their living room.
in my ten-fifteen seconds of shock, i'm glad i was able to watch him blow it on his house's couch. the same couch i've literally seen 50 different people on.
thanks college.
Bob Payne
12/28/07, 05:59 PM
pics or it didn't happen.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 06:03 PM
implanted mental image; did happen. then again, i've seen him go balls deep into his whoooooooooore of a girlfriend. again, in front of the window.
i didn't know a bro could also be an exhibitionist.
updownleftright
12/28/07, 06:16 PM
lol.
does he not believe in blinds.
billyboatkid
12/28/07, 06:20 PM
Sorry man that would scar, and is pretty fucked up if you ask me. :puke:
asmolitor
12/28/07, 06:27 PM
lol.
does he not believe in blinds.
apparently not. from my kitchen window, you first see into his bedroom, and then if his bedroom door's open - then you can see into the living room. something about naked and privacy doesn't click with him. must be all the guitar hero.
of which, i expect him to be playing next. probably naked.
updownleftright
12/28/07, 06:32 PM
hahaha. sounds like a good plot for a comical movie.
how exactly does college play a part in this.. you're watching him from your campus apartment?
asmolitor
12/28/07, 06:40 PM
mostly. it's a college neighborhood full of students in houses, but same premise. also, because only in college do kids on winter break think everyone but them is still at home.
i didn't mention he's also legendary among my roommates for never, EVER wearing a shirt inside his house. it didn't happen with the climate change between august and december. and because of his blinds preference, any one walking into the kitchen can see into their house, so it happens multiple times a day.
never thought i'd see the day of jerking it on the community couch... but the abovementioned balls deep in his whooooore was like the first week of the lease.
hahaha...well at least you know to never sit on that couch
FatJordan
12/28/07, 06:54 PM
At least he's got nothing to hide.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 06:54 PM
hahaha...well at least you know to never sit on that couch
heh, true. the best part is - i've never been in their house, and don't even know the guy's name. our house literally refers to him as "no shirt guy."
but, somehow, without any of that social interaction, i've managed to see him and his girlfriend naked.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 07:09 PM
At least he's got nothing to hide.
well, judging by things that bear a resemblance to a wind sock... he should.
Set up a camera and make a site.
you could probably make a good amount of money.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 07:17 PM
Set up a camera and make a site.
you could probably make a good amount of money.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=watchahalfnakedbro.com&btnG=Google+Search
it has potential.
hahahaha.
goldmine for sure.
FatJordan
12/28/07, 07:48 PM
well, judging by things that bear a resemblance to a wind sock... he should.
If I had it, I would flaunt it. :-(
asmolitor
12/28/07, 07:55 PM
If I had it, I would flaunt it. :-(
well, what i meant is... he doesn't "have it." i'm pretty sure that was unclear by my metaphor wording.
FatJordan
12/28/07, 08:20 PM
well, what i meant is... he doesn't "have it." i'm pretty sure that was unclear by my metaphor wording.
Yeah, I was thinking like a giant windsock in the wind. From this day on I'm calling my penis, "my windsock".
asmolitor
12/28/07, 08:27 PM
Yeah, I was thinking like a giant windsock in the wind. From this day on I'm calling my penis, "my windsock".
haha, awesome.
i just wonder what limited social interactions i'll have with this guy now. it was awkward enough to be on adjacent porches when he was with his girlfriend and i'd seen them naked. but now, i can't even imagine. i really wanted to flip on all the lights in my kitchen, but who am i to kill a boner and his fantasy world?
asmolitor
12/28/07, 09:42 PM
UPDATE: no more than 4 hours later, he's back at it. AGAIN.
shit, this guy's training for the olympics.
Skadrist
12/28/07, 10:03 PM
UPDATE: no more than 4 hours later, he's back at it. AGAIN.
shit, this guy's training for the olympics.
I never thought i would say this about a guy jerking off on a couch but "Pics if you can".
asmolitor
12/28/07, 10:06 PM
haha, if at some point he goes for the trifecta, there WILL be pics.
asmolitor
12/28/07, 10:18 PM
whelp, when i went to make a nice grilled cheese sandwich and inadvertantly switched on the lights, a fully-clothed-now whacker just gave me the ultimate look of disgrace and shame, as he might've realized i was home this whole time.
the blinds are finally shut. good fun and disgrace were had by all.
UntilItKillsYou
12/28/07, 10:32 PM
I havnt laughed this hard in a very long time, thank you misc jags fan
its just like friends and ugly naked guy
Roboman
12/28/07, 10:48 PM
Hahaha, now how awkward is that going to be if you see each other outside of your houses...
theESCO
12/28/07, 11:02 PM
...is his girlfriend hot?
asmolitor
12/29/07, 12:16 AM
Hahaha, now how awkward is that going to be if you see each other outside of your houses...
very. though, we don't talk to each other as it is. but going into the kitchen multiple times a day should refresh my memory constantly. at least i have that to look forward to.
asmolitor
12/29/07, 12:18 AM
...is his girlfriend hot?
yep. in that "i don't have the best face so i'll make up for it by never eating" way. after seeing all things considered... i can see how her size -2 waist and his, well, yeah, get together fine.
mrzippo3
12/29/07, 01:05 AM
This thread was absolutely disgusting, yet also hilarious.
asmolitor
12/29/07, 01:15 AM
This thread was absolutely disgusting, yet also hilarious.
such was my night. all i wanted was chips the first time. the second time, pasta roni, dammit. pasta roni.
both came with a price.
lmao cheesiest yet most exceptional conclusion ever.
xvszero
01/07/08, 09:44 AM
4 hours is a short time to wait?
I'd be back at it 20 minutes later.
Lee McGee
01/09/08, 12:40 AM
that is the funniest thing I've read all day
12:46AM
01/09/08, 03:07 AM
I love being naked.
RachelRevolting
01/09/08, 02:59 PM
its just like friends and ugly naked guythat's exactly what it reminded me of.
that's honestly my favorite part of the show.
i can only imagine how much fun they had thinking of new things for him to do/buy
Spicoli hey bud
01/09/08, 03:07 PM
Why is it always ugly naked guy, as opposed to hot naked girl?
hockeycoshow
01/09/08, 11:41 PM
I know to close my blinds next time. :shrug:
asmolitor
01/10/08, 12:42 AM
Why is it always ugly naked guy, as opposed to hot naked girl?
i've seen the guy nailing his girlfriend. since i plan in staying in the same house again for the 3rd year, i really hope hot slutty girls move in at some point to either viewable side of the house.
asmolitor
01/10/08, 12:42 AM
I know to close my blinds next time. :shrug:
always close the blinds. that guy never got the memo.
hockeycoshow
01/10/08, 01:19 PM
lol can do.
micahistheballs
01/10/08, 01:31 PM
heh, true. the best part is - i've never been in their house, and don't even know the guy's name. our house literally refers to him as "no shirt guy."
but, somehow, without any of that social interaction, i've managed to see him and his girlfriend naked.
Was the girl at least hot?
SubrosaSeductiv
01/10/08, 02:01 PM
Fucked... up.
asmolitor
01/10/08, 02:21 PM
Was the girl at least hot?
sort of. to make a scrubs reference, the type that eats celery and air for lunch. if you're into it, i guess.
Be lucky he isn't your roommate. A guy on my floor has his roommate walk in on him in the act of masturbating 5 times by last count.
micahistheballs
01/10/08, 02:40 PM
Be lucky he isn't your roommate. A guy on my floor has his roommate walk in on him in the act of masturbating 5 times by last count.
Haha, I thought about the roommate possibility as soon as I read this thread.
asmolitor
01/10/08, 07:51 PM
Be lucky he isn't your roommate. A guy on my floor has his roommate walk in on him in the act of masturbating 5 times by last count.
haha, terrible timing. thank god for post-dorm living and having my own room. with a locked door. and blinds, always blinds. it wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't a student ghetto where the houses are 5 feet apart.
haha, terrible timing. thank god for post-dorm living and having my own room. with a locked door. and blinds, always blinds. it wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't a student ghetto where the houses are 5 feet apart.
Actually not really terrible timing. The guy just does it whenever his roommate is gone at all, without bothering to see how long he'll be gone. He'll leave to go do something, realize he forgot his keys or phone, and walk back in to his roommate "readying up". So yeah, the guy is just a freak. Who laughably believes sex is only for procreation.
asmolitor
01/10/08, 08:52 PM
Actually not really terrible timing. The guy just does it whenever his roommate is gone at all, without bothering to see how long he'll be gone. He'll leave to go do something, realize he forgot his keys or phone, and walk back in to his roommate "readying up". So yeah, the guy is just a freak. Who laughably believes sex is only for procreation.
that's quite a paradox.
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