My Lost Turquoise

[IGuessItsOkay]

yeah some of it rhymes, bite me...it is a natural rhyme scheme, not forced.

To the man whos gem I stole
I'm sorry.
My eyes had never seen
the beauty and the shine,
the turquoise that it offered.

My anxious hand can be harsh
I know it.
But a stone so small and smooth
should never be let loose
where a wandering eye may see

Its sparkle, its draw, its blue,
its hyptnotism.
My immorality still haunts me
though the bulkrock had dropped free
as I ran from the garden.

And where does this beauty stay?
I cannot say.
I left it lost alone
and ran, scared, from youth
toward a place you'd never find.

But still, I think of turquoise,
how lost is she.
For stealing is my most wrong,
And surely God will mark this down
as I'm sure you have done,
Mr. Right.



Comments! Please!

[IGuessItsOkay]

Okay, so I've changed some stuff around, improved this poem I think. I would really love some feedback. PLEASE!!!

My Lost Turquoise

To the man whose gem I stole:
I'm sorry.
My eyes had never seen
The beauty, much less the shine,
The turquose that it offered.

My anxious hand can be harsh
I know it.
But a stone so smooth and neat
Should never be let loose
Where a wandering eye may see

Its sparkle, its draw, its blue
Its hypnotism.
My failed attempt still drags me
Though the bulkrock had dropped free
as I ran from the garden,

Ducking and dodging into familiarity.
That blue fruit,
That object of my desire
That was yours a decade before
And still not mine today.

But you should know, I think of turquoise,
How lost is she.
For stealing is my most wrong
And surely God will mark this down
As I'm sure you have done,
Mr. Right.

[engravedinstars]

I think it's good. The best poems are usually written with little revision, but I like it. You should keep on writing.