simply put...my lyrics, comment please!

[thexflamesxburn]

Extensive damage to my mind
Unforgiven rythems beat in my chest
Bursting at the moment I lash out
My heart beats louder than your voice
And your voice is a din
You sent your bullets to my soul
But you can't kill an undead essence
Looking through your window you spot me
Face down on your front lawn
I spent my last breaths confessing
My feelings to you

The flames burn long and hot
Leaving no mercy on my pathetic soul
They tear the flesh from my bones
They rip my heart from my chest

The flames in my heart
They burn with desire



comment/criticize please! i would like to hear what you think everyone.

[mediocrgreenday]

very good thought it kicked ass... the beginning was good but the ending was great

[Driveitthrough]

I like it. I can really relate. The use of imagery and metaphors was excellent. Nice work.

[BrandNewPunk]

I don't know what to say besides "I like it". Good work.

[thexflamesxburn]

thank you everyone!

more comments/criticism pleaseeeee

[popdisaster530]

Thats great, Its very dark and meaningful, id love to hear some more of your songs, sounds like you have a lot of experience songwriting, i could learn something. later