its a...SONG!!! read and reply PLEASE!!!!!!!!

[popdisaster530]

VERSE 1
Ill tell you something ive known but never understood

THe-ones-who-deserve the most are the most insecure

I saw the ones follow-ing the crowds be celebrated

and all the ones on their own got was humiliated

VERSE 2
I hated the way the kind were treated

And resented the fact that those i hated leaded

I saw the weaker fall and never get up

THats what inspired me to never give up

CHORUS
Our lives are porous
descisions made for us
are unfair
(but-they-dont-care)
no they dont care
(and thats our problem)

VERSE 3
I tried to take the world from you

But somehow it already got through

its already-rubbing off on me

cause everythings so sad and gloomy

Verse 4
and i didnt know what i was looking for

But now i have to look no more

Cause my cure was found in the form of you

i just hope you never learn the truth

CHORUS
x2

BRIDGE
citizens my name
apathys my game
but i dont care
cause ive got no shame
x4

CHORUS
repeat till fade
END

Well theres that extra bit of happiness you needed to fufill your day, no but seriously COMMENTS/CRITISISM PLEASE! cause i wrote this awhile ago and its abit rough.
:goofy:

[TheFallenScene]

I'm shooting for a whole 104 FREE SCENE POINTS..as I suggest you copyright that song too..before..ahhh..another horrible bands tries to steal it.

Horrible bands..write horrible lyrics..Hence..why my comment is made.

Umm..just wanted to say that..but!! The song isn't horrible. I'm a a nice guy, so..good job? I think. Yeah, stop rhyming..line after line. Best part of the song may be the bridge, probably. I hate using this word, because the word itself is a "cliche" but your song is cliche. If you all want to write cliche songs, then..cliche.

A song about a girl? Or how the world is a "gloomy" place. "You" who is "you"? Maybe it is SO obvious..I can't figure it out. Well I already expect some rude comment about how I don't understand the song in the future. SO!!..scratch the thing about "cliche"..the song is..what?

I'm really sorry for ripping on this song..I mean..it's better than your last song..I have to admitt. :D

I think I was way out of hand with the cliche thingy. It just took up some space, and are all of you going to read this? Write poetry it's easier. Nah. Lets see, Para-Din-a-Lou..Umm? What. The "Scene Points"..i think I'm going to take that from you. Have like one of those score card things.

10 being the best, 1 being the worse.
SCENE POINTS : 3