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popdisaster530
12/13/03, 11:17 AM
Hey..new song.. just read&reply please!!!!! comments/critisism escpecially critisism.

BAD YEAR
VERSE 1
(What a wonderful day)
its raining outside
(i dont understand)
what uve got to hide

from me.
the king.
of critisism
a catalysism
(is nothing in comparison)
to there laughter

(and its geting more and more)
glaringly obvious
that what u wont tell me
is what i dont
want to hear the most

PRE-CHORUS
i think i know whats going on here
another side effect of one long bad year
And im tired of using this excuse
and im sorry, but its the truth, im sorry

CHORUS
Youve caught me on a bad day
my bad year
All the things i didnt want to say
went pn here
they came and went
and im feeling kinda spent
(after two long days of wandering)
AROUND
(after two long days of wondering)
WHAT WENT DOWN

(ill be here all week)
not that you care
(if your tired of laughing)
pretend im not there
or better yet
blame it on my bad year

VERSE 2
It seems like only yesterday
(we-went-dry of-things to-argue-about)
& it seems like only yesterday
(i gave up and you ran out)
& it seems like only yesterday
(all i could do)
was think about a better day
(a day without you)
PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS
SOLO
END

Thats it, it may not make much structural sense, but it works out when played right. Please, help me out. later:cool: :cool:

popdisaster530
12/13/03, 03:18 PM
If you read this..PLEASE COMMENT

AtticusD0RK
12/14/03, 06:19 PM
i like it


arent we all just stuck in a bad year?:cheeky:

Micah Aldridge
12/15/03, 06:22 AM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by popdisaster530
[B]Hey..new song.. just read&reply please!!!!! comments/critisism escpecially critisism.

BAD YEAR
VERSE 1
(What a wonderful day)
its raining outside
(i dont understand)
what you've got to hide *

from me.
the king.
of critisism
a catalysism
(is nothing in comparison)
to their laughter *

(and its geting more and more)
glaringly obvious
that what you wont tell me *
is what i don't *
want to hear the most

PRE-CHORUS
i think i know whats going on here
another side effect of one long bad year ^"One long bad year" sounds very...forced..yeah forced try "Drawnout,livelong, or lasting" I dunno your choice, it is your song ;)
And im tired of using this excuse
and im sorry, but its the truth, im sorry

CHORUS
Youve caught me on a bad day
my bad year ^maybe something like"Hold fast bad year"
All the things i didnt want to say
went pn here * went on?
they came and went
and im feeling kinda spent ^lose kinda maybe "I'm spent within limits(or within moderation)
(after two long days of wandering)
AROUND
(after two long days of wondering)
WHAT WENT DOWN ^kinda corny to me

(ill be here all week)
not that you care
(if you're tired of laughing) *
pretend im not there
or better yet
blame it on my bad year ^this?

VERSE 2
It seems like only yesterday
(we-went-dry of-things to-argue-about)
& it seems like only yesterday
(i gave up and you ran out)
& it seems like only yesterday
(all i could do)
was think about a better day
(a day without you)
PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS
SOLO
END


a little bit of what I think
* = grammar corrected/spelling corrected
^ = Idea's?

Micah Aldridge
12/15/03, 06:30 AM
I'd sing the chorus this way

CHORUS:

You caught me on a bad day
hold fast bad year
All the things i don't want to say
like what went on here
they came and went
I'm spent in moderation


(two long days of wandering)
AROUND HERE (echo"What went on here")
(after two long days of wondering)
WHAT WENT DOWN HERE

Think Pop/Punk Ala Blink 182....

blink182drumagh
12/15/03, 10:27 AM
i think its ok...but a few suggestions the other people said r good but hey i like it now but w/e u have 2 do 2 make it better or wat u feel brings out the meanin hell do it!

peace

popdisaster530
12/15/03, 12:51 PM
I like the suggestions alot, thanx guys

BuriedAlive
12/15/03, 04:26 PM
not bad.. weird structure. i liked the fact that you can get your point across with such small verses. its a good thing to be able to do. keep it up man.

Micah Aldridge
12/15/03, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by blink182drumagh
i think its ok...but a few suggestions the other people said r good but hey i like it now but w/e u have 2 do 2 make it better or wat u feel brings out the meanin hell do it!

peace

What the hell? I have no fucking idea what you just said ;)

blink182drumagh
12/16/03, 10:56 AM
Originally posted by Micah Aldridge
What the hell? I have no fucking idea what you just said ;)



WELL UR STUPID...AND MY MOM SAYS U SHOULDNT SAY THE F WORD...I DONT LIKE U AND U CANT HAVE ANY OF MY LOLLYPOPS!

richter915
12/16/03, 01:06 PM
uhhhhhhh ya. Try being a little original...those negative "my life sucks" lyrics are waaaay overdone...really, what band doesn't write lyrics like that.

popdisaster530
12/17/03, 07:44 AM
umm...i write what i know?