fire between us

[decisionpending]

just something that currently has no structure but i hope to work it out in to something good

we've burned down our bridges
and no tears that we cry
can put out these the fires
that separate us

nothing can douse the flame of the fire
we can't stop the loss of desire
between us
between us

who would have known
that the embers of passion in our hearts
could jump into our lungs
and create such angry words
if i would have known
that this disaster was on hand
i could have held my breath for ever
and die a man with love...



that's all i got so far... help!!!

[Micah Aldridge]

Place me like a seal over your heart,
Like a seal on your sleeve,
For love is as strong as death
It's jealousy unyeilding as the grave
Many waters can not quench love
Many rivers can not wash it away
if one were to give all the wealth
of his house for love
he would be utterly scorned.
Psalms:8 6-7

I think... Your song reminds me of that verse, don't know why, wow I spelt a lot of stuff wrong, ahh well

[decisionpending]

yeah man, i dont know the bible too well but that does seem to relate, to some extent, to what i have written... wow, thats a really nice passage too... cool, i would really like some help though cause for some verses i can only come up with some crap about listening to jefferson starship

[decisionpending]

yo... chuck me some commentary!!!

[decisionpending]

bumpin'! please reply and tell me if what i got is lookin alright

[GREENatarisDAY]

i thought it was decent but there were some parts that didnt flow and things i didnt understand....

like, "and create such angry words", i just thought that didnt flow very well with the rest of the song, the rest dosent seem bad though, keep it up.

[TravvPoopington]

Everything seems to fit okay, but it's kind of cookie cutter vanilla stuff. In fact, I'm almost positive I've heard this in a Coheed and Cambria song. :cheeky: