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GhostMachine
04/04/08, 01:56 PM
Switched off the lights that sent my shadow running to escape,
I realized that my ability to hallcuinate had overrun reality,
and slowly my dream world was seeping into my eyes,
like a veil constantly covering my mind...like a black bag over my head.

I felt like a captive of terrorists of my own creation,
surely the demons knew I was the creator,
but they tied me down without quivering,
and though I created them,
they controlled me without hesitation.

Muted by a strip of black electrical tape,
I saw myself in the mirror when they opened my eyes,
and found a my negative poised over me...the positive,
though nothing was positive about this,
I merely quivered with fear of my own hallucinations,
powerless to stop what had come,
I knew then that dreams were my reality.

And with a shudder I quit dreaming,
found only the dark solitude of my empty mind,
and began racing for some kind of exit sign in this finite abyss that was me,
even if every step felt like an empty expression of self hatred,
I didn't stop to think of it until green luminescence appeared over my closed eyes,
without gasping I leapt...the door closed as I landed inches away,
only to reawaken in the chair that I had been tied to.

In the distance I heard the thunder and the rain calling,
and though storm was coming,
I didn't make an effort to escape this chair...
I waited to be washed away inside myself.

lew_1987
04/05/08, 02:33 PM
i'm not a fan of these 'story' type lyrics usual, but i thought this was really good.

GhostMachine
04/06/08, 09:11 PM
Thanks.

JimGray
04/07/08, 07:24 AM
This is fantabulous broseph, loved the second stanza.

=]

GhostMachine
04/07/08, 09:50 AM
Thank my good man.

JimGray
04/07/08, 10:22 AM
No problem dawg!

Baby VenomVeins
04/07/08, 02:21 PM
Very nice. Great imagery! The ending was my favorite.

salmarnirecho
04/07/08, 05:21 PM
i didn't really like it. It was definitely better than most of what's on here. I think you present some good ideas, but I think you could've used the language more creatively. Just what I think. Keep writing, good sir.

GhostMachine
04/08/08, 05:30 AM
Very nice. Great imagery! The ending was my favorite.

Thank you.



i didn't really like it. It was definitely better than most of what's on here. I think you present some good ideas, but I think you could've used the language more creatively. Just what I think. Keep writing, good sir.


Thanks for the feedback.

JimGray
04/08/08, 05:48 AM
Ghost Machine needs an avatar...

GhostMachine
04/08/08, 06:38 AM
I do...but what should it be?^

JimGray
04/08/08, 06:39 AM
How about a picture of me on the cross?

:shrug:

GhostMachine
04/08/08, 07:48 AM
Nice...It'd piss some people off, but it'd be intriguing at the same time.

JimGray
04/08/08, 09:11 AM
I will make it for you!

GhostMachine
04/08/08, 09:45 AM
Yay!

GhostMachine
04/08/08, 09:46 AM
Today sucks by the way...how's your day?

Baby VenomVeins
04/08/08, 02:21 PM
You're welcome & I'm excited to see this avatar!

JimGray
04/09/08, 04:42 AM
My day is terrible, BUT I'll have that avatar by 2:00 PM Eastern Time...

GhostMachine
04/09/08, 09:16 AM
That'd be like what central time?

JimGray
04/09/08, 09:48 AM
Like 15 more minutes, I'm an hour early today. =]

JimGray
04/09/08, 09:57 AM
http://img378.imageshack.us/img378/8336/ghostmachineavatarsh5.jpg

GhostMachine
04/09/08, 10:43 AM
Nice...And I'm like an hour late.

JimGray
04/09/08, 10:49 AM
Nice...And I'm like an hour late.

Psh, time is dumb.

GhostMachine
04/09/08, 11:03 AM
Yeah...well...we can't really change it, can we?

JordanLML
04/09/08, 11:08 AM
very good, very good visuals, maybe too good.. haha it was a bit chilling

JimGray
04/09/08, 11:18 AM
Yeah...well...we can't really change it, can we?

I have got to say, seeing yourself in an avatar is fucking mind-blowing.

GhostMachine
04/09/08, 02:20 PM
Hahaha...nice. It shall remain there.

0starter0
04/09/08, 05:20 PM
There was a few contradictions, possibly implied, and the last stanza felt unconnected from the rest of the poem.

I liked most of it though.

Chris Fallon
04/09/08, 06:55 PM
Good use of detail; very descriptive.

Baby VenomVeins
04/09/08, 08:29 PM
Badass avatar haha!