PDA

View Full Version : 1st one


NoHopeTHRs1
12/27/03, 05:53 PM
"This Came In October Although You Left In September"

A broken man
slips in the cracks of the table
crushed between the love and the lies

seeing these killing lies cover
the face of your beautiful life

knowing the names
the pains still wreck the day
(and we can't see past the ruins)

just break free and whisper
a royal song that blinds the eyes
of everyone in the room
(it's hard to follow you when you get up and start walking away)
------------------------------

I wrote that in a boring english class one day...kinda choppy...and i dont think i even finished it...haha...what is it about?...a girl of course...well its yours now to praise or kill...have fun...

BuriedAlive
12/27/03, 07:41 PM
"a royal song that blinds the eyes"

i really like this line.

but the rest is kinda, yes, choppy. not to its fullest potential.

just work with it it wasnt half bad