Lyrics help

[PhyerFly]

I'm trying to finish the lyrics for a new song that my band is writing and i was wondering if I could get some feedback on what i have so far. The song is called Lovesick......and it's bitter, just like all our songs.

Here's what i've got-

[Verses]?
Promises are not the only thing,
that you've broken in my life
With my back against the wall
You moved in an took it all

I became the bitter poetry
That I wish I didn't write
While I was longing to be found
You beat my smile into the ground

[Chorus]?
I'm so sick of loving you
Sick of the things you do
And I will never be the same,
From all the pain your dragged me through

I'm so sick of faking this
Sick of the life I missed
While I was face down on the floor,
So go away, because you make me lovesick

[Bridge]
(slow)
But I want to thank you, for breaking my heart
Hard times are what make us who we are
and no matter what you do, ill never waste another day with you

-------
I think it needs another verse or two, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

[mwhpunk]

Wow, wouldn't this be a great thread for the "YOUR LYRICS" section?????? given that this place gets more action but you're trying to beat the system.:dissapoin

[PhyerFly]

lol, actually.....I didn't even see that forum....thanks.

[popdisaster530]

Thats really good

[saving face]

hey, i wouldnt change anything about your song, an extra verse or two could make it too long. and i think it just about the right length. just wondering, how was u thinking of performing this song? i mean any screaming? fast paced? slow all way through?