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View Full Version : fucking hell i need some...

bigtakeshi
05/14/08, 03:56 AM
so, i go to a really strict, conservative school that my parents forced me into because of their religion (they're "sunday catholics"). i hate religion. this school's internet is so fucking restrictive that I cannot log onto any of the usual sites that I do. I have been getting boned for weeks and have been extremely hard and horny off and on for quite some time now! This strict internet filter is fucking lame it won't even let me go on fucking YAHOO! or even fucking youtube! it blocks just about anything that would get some reasonable internet traffic, except facebook (don't ask how this site isn't filtered, but somehow it's not!)

anyway, I am so horny that I just can't take it anymore. I need to see some ass, tits, and pussy before I go fucking insane! this fucking filtered internet won't let me fucking look at the shit i want too and I really want some good lesbian chicks. If at all possible, could someone possibly email me some lesbo (blonde) porn vids? I am so fucking horny right now and I can't stand it that I can't even go on any fucking web search without this fucking school's server restricting the search to "strict safe search." It fucking sucks balls (no pun intended!) I'm not about to go to a porn shop because I am not about to pay for shit that I can normally get for free.

you can send vids to this email address jmillerrox86@gmail.com. this shit is so fucking strict that it won't even fucking let me get certain emails...so if you send a video, make sure the subject line of the video doesn't have "sex words" like "fuck, pussy, sex, lesbo, lesbian, cunt, dildo, fuck, milf" you get the idea.

now, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can someone help make my dick get happy!
SgtSmegma
05/14/08, 04:29 AM
lol wut.

anal.

AIDS.
Hamlet
05/14/08, 04:30 AM
...self-anal?
4N6 science
05/14/08, 05:54 AM
this is hilarious..sucks for you, I think I'm gonna look at some explicit material on my computer since I have any restrictions.
SLoT
05/14/08, 07:02 AM
Fake?
llwilliamsll
05/14/08, 08:33 AM
( . )( . ) ( . )( . )

closest thing to lesbian porn that I could find
bailmeout13
05/14/08, 08:40 AM
This is kind of sad.
kwsqd
05/14/08, 08:51 AM
and he lives in Oregon, thats a double whammy
AP_Punk
05/14/08, 08:54 AM
2girls1cup
YouAteMyDog182
05/14/08, 08:54 AM
...self-anal?

Lmao.
That is the best thing ever.


I suggest finding a hooker...

And then tickling your butt with a feather.
I mean.

shit
xvszero
05/14/08, 08:56 AM
Um... you're in college?

Parents can't force you to go to a specific college, you know. There are laws in this country, one of them says that once you are 18 you are an adult and can do whatever the hell you want.
SLoT
05/14/08, 08:57 AM
Lmao.
That is the best thing ever.


I suggest finding a hooker...

And then tickling your butt with a feather.
I mean.

shit
I love your posts. Just sayin.
kwsqd
05/14/08, 08:57 AM
duct tape a dildo to the wall and go fuck yourself
SLoT
05/14/08, 08:57 AM
duct tape a dildo to the wall and go fuck yourself
He should just have someone hold it.
kwsqd
05/14/08, 09:00 AM
but then he's not actually fucking himself. unless its a girl, then we could make an exception.
SLoT
05/14/08, 09:03 AM
but then he's not actually fucking himself. unless its a girl, then we could make an exception.
What about one of the teachers. Instead of hail marys?
kwsqd
05/14/08, 09:04 AM
a teacher would work but we need a minimum age gap of 35 years.
SLoT
05/14/08, 09:08 AM
definitely.
kwsqd
05/14/08, 09:10 AM
so its settled then
bluecrunchy
05/14/08, 09:12 AM
in reference to the original post:

bahahahaha!
GhostMachine
05/14/08, 09:14 AM
I think he needs a warm cantelopue and something to slide in his ass...he should be fine afterwards.
YouAteMyDog182
05/14/08, 09:17 AM
I love your posts. Just sayin.

And I Love You...

tee hee.

*Camera zooms in spiraling on your face as teh shock of love has dominated your dopamine*
SgtSmegma
05/14/08, 09:40 AM
...self-anal?

Yes. I can do it.
Getup and Dance
05/14/08, 09:49 AM
Someone should e-mail him Mr. Hands and Goatse.
llwilliamsll
05/14/08, 09:50 AM
Yes. I can do it.
who can't
bailmeout13
05/14/08, 05:40 PM
and he lives in Oregon, thats a double whammy

Yes, a saddening fact indeed.
Chancetobe
05/14/08, 07:30 PM
in reference to the original post:

bahahahaha!

Yup, that about sums it up.

I also really hope someone sent him gay porn or something.
scmaley
05/14/08, 07:34 PM
Wait. Is this kid at a college with restricted internet or does he want to look at it in the library of his middle/high school?
Mrs.Sweeny Todd
05/14/08, 07:59 PM
just go find some s t r i p p e r s duhhhhhhh- or an illegal h o o k e r
andrew4045
05/14/08, 08:07 PM
at school at 3 am huh?
Neo Cassady
05/14/08, 08:49 PM
Do you really need porn to wank it?