Some hilarious jokes. Please don't read on a full bladder. [Archive]

PunkR0xx0rs!LOL

01/06/04, 12:37 PM

What did one Hanson brother say to the other one?
Mmmbop I'm gay!

What were the members of Radiohead doing hiding in the boot of a car?
They were kidnapped and tied up by a stalker, but he went out to get a packet of **** and they managed to escape. They fled to a supermarket car park where they hid in the boot of a car in case he came looking for them.

Why do Scottish people have ginger hair and pale skin?
Cause they're evil mutants.

Why do robbers wear stripes?
Cause they are copying their hero Michael Stripe of REM. (hahahaha Stripe!)

Imagine Obi Won Kanebo owns a shops which sells letters. And Anakin Skywalker works for him. Forget about child labour laws, this is a long time ago in a galaxy far away moron. Anyways everyday Anakin has to lay out the lays on the shelfs, A through to Z. Then pack them away at the end of teh day. One day Anakin is packing them away in there correct places. The A's are in the cupboard, the M's are locked away. But when he gets to the U's he finds they won't fit in the drawer. He keeps trying but there are too many. Obi Wan walks him and tells Anakin to "Force the U's". Hahahahahaha. Brilliant. It kinda sounds like Use the Force.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

worldstheory

01/06/04, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by PunkR0xx0rs!LOL
What did one Hanson brother say to the other one?
Mmmbop I'm gay!This is the only one that's funny.

still_life

01/06/04, 01:39 PM

Hmm, I'm guessing they changed the definition of "hilarious", because it's sure not what it used to be.

Touched

01/06/04, 01:42 PM

You my friend, are the definition of twat.

takingbackrufio

01/06/04, 01:44 PM

Originally posted by still_life
Hmm, I'm guessing they changed the definition of "hilarious", because it's sure not what it used to be. Apparently, nowadays, anything making fun of boy bands is funny.

I thought they were quite lame, truthfully.

PunkR0xx0rs!LOL

01/06/04, 01:56 PM

I'm glad you all like them. Thanks for making a n00b like me feel very welcome.

You guys rock!

ChineseNoodle13

01/06/04, 01:57 PM

none of those jokes are funny... sorry

angie710

01/06/04, 02:00 PM

Originally posted by Touched
You my friend, are the definition of twat.

HA! You fucking rock...

Unopened Letter

01/06/04, 02:10 PM

Originally posted by still_life
Hmm, I'm guessing they changed the definition of "hilarious", because it's sure not what it used to be.

dretti

01/06/04, 03:02 PM

you my friend, should be shot

piebaldkid42

01/06/04, 03:06 PM

seriously, im not even kidding, pack your fucking bags and leave. now. you have managed to piss the hell out of me in the 3 days youve been here.

and one more thing, everyone whos new quit this noob, newb, nOOb shit right now because it pisses me off so much

ugh bad day people

FarPastGone

01/06/04, 03:09 PM

Stop posting stupid ass shit, this is the second thread you've started that is retarded, not only that all your gay ass jokes are fucking lame......Haha......your not making a lot of friends fast, newbie, just calm down with the retarded shit and maybe everyone will forget you ever wrote these threads....

dretti

01/06/04, 03:14 PM

Originally posted by piebaldkid42
seriously, im not even kidding, pack your fucking bags and leave. now. you have managed to piss the hell out of me in the 3 days youve been here.

FarPastGone

01/06/04, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by broknhartedlosr
you guys are all idiots. especially the ones who got angry because they didn't think the jokes were funny. even if this person was serious in posting this, that's just a dumb ass thing to get angry at. oh so sorry someone posted something you didn't like on your precious message board. second, i'm sure the person knew the jokes weren't funny, but they knew that the idiot forum trolls would get all angry at them being posted, and that in and of itself would be funny.

personally i found this thread hilarious, because you're all so, so stupid.

Did you see his other thread, Angie Locked it because it was so retarted...

PunkR0xx0rs!LOL

01/06/04, 03:37 PM

Originally posted by FoursPostGone
Did you see his other thread, Angie Locked it because it was so retarted...

I agree. Homeless people are retarded.

FarPastGone

01/06/04, 03:52 PM

Originally posted by PunkR0xx0rs!LOL
I agree. Homeless people are retarded.

Hahaha......you do have persitence, I'll give you that...

worldstheory

01/06/04, 09:24 PM

takingbackrufio

01/06/04, 09:27 PM

Originally posted by FarPastGone
Did you see his other thread, Angie Locked it because it was so retarted... Exactly ...

Don Socrates

01/06/04, 09:34 PM

Originally posted by takingbackrufio
Exactly ...

Because if Angie says something than its obviously true...

Its really funny in a pathetic way how seriously you guys take this message board. I reccomend shutting of your computer for a day. It would do you good.

takingbackrufio

01/06/04, 09:37 PM

Originally posted by Don Socrates
Because if Angie says something than its obviously true...

Its really funny in a pathetic way how seriously you guys take this message board. I reccomend shutting of your computer for a day. It would do you good. I have gone many days without my computer. In fact, I'm the only person in my grade who hasn't had a computer consistently in the past few years. Have you read the post that got locked, honestly? Read it, you might learn something ... there's gotta be something wrong when your posts are along those lines.

Don Socrates

01/06/04, 09:41 PM

Originally posted by takingbackrufio
I have gone many days without my computer. In fact, I'm the only person in my grade who hasn't had a computer consistently in the past few years. Have you read the post that got locked, honestly? Read it, you might learn something ... there's gotta be something wrong when your posts are along those lines.

The homeless people thread was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read on the internet that wasn't written by Maddox. Even funnier than this guys posts were your reactions. Its obvious he's joking, yet you feel some type of compulisve need to assert your superiority. Its called an inferiority complex, and I believe you should seek proffessional psychological help. May I reccomend Dr. Go-Drink-the-Stuf-Under-the-Sink?

takingbackrufio

01/06/04, 09:48 PM

Originally posted by Don Socrates
The homeless people thread was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read on the internet that wasn't written by Maddox. Even funnier than this guys posts were your reactions. Its obvious he's joking, yet you feel some type of compulisve need to assert your superiority. Its called an inferiority complex, and I believe you should seek proffessional psychological help. May I reccomend Dr. Go-Drink-the-Stuf-Under-the-Sink? Wow, you're telling me to commit suicide. I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.

I was just agreeing with what somebody said, not making any major assumptions. We have different views, obviously we're not going to get along.

Don Socrates

01/06/04, 09:57 PM

It has come to my attention that we are having the same argument on two seperate threads. Please readmy latest psot on the Blink 182 thread, and I think it will lend clarity to what I have been saying.

em0

01/07/04, 06:30 AM

originally by farpastgone
Did you see his other thread, Angie Locked it because it was so retarted...

*retarded ...good game.

don socrates why do you love thus punkroxxor!lol person so much that you have to defend everything he says? he has a reply button too, you don't have to do his job for him. ;)

Don Socrates

01/07/04, 09:05 AM

Originally posted by em0
*retarded ...good game.

don socrates why do you love thus punkroxxor!lol person so much that you have to defend everything he says? he has a reply button too, you don't have to do his job for him. ;)

Because I don't agree with every person on the forum ganging up on someone and attempting to have them banned just because he has a different sense of humor. If you don't like his jokes, why do you read the threads that he starts?

shetpisfock

01/07/04, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by dretti
you my friend, should be shot

AlwaysPunkin45

01/07/04, 12:46 PM

DON SOCRATES!!! YOU USED TO BE MY HERO!!!! :cry:

Touched

01/07/04, 01:18 PM

I'm feeling the love of AP again. :)

mwhpunk

01/07/04, 01:39 PM

i was really hoping to read a lot of funny jokes because there was so many posts but there isn't any... thanks for getting my hopes up only to read a bunch of bullshit.:D

piebaldkid42

01/07/04, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by Don Socrates
Because I don't agree with every person on the forum ganging up on someone and attempting to have them banned just because he has a different sense of humor. If you don't like his jokes, why do you read the threads that he starts?
what in the fuck makes you come in here and tell us what to do? youve been here a week so give it a rest, we've been like this for quite a while and youre not going to change a thing. quit telling everyone to leave this jackass alone and like something you would say "if you dont like it dont read it"

takingbackrufio

01/07/04, 02:53 PM

Originally posted by piebaldkid42
what in the fuck makes you come in here and tell us what to do? youve been here a week so give it a rest, we've been like this for quite a while and youre not going to change a thing. quit telling everyone to leave this jackass alone and like something you would say "if you dont like it dont read it" *Claps hands* Amen.

MaybeOneDay

01/07/04, 03:01 PM

I really didn't find any of these jokes funny at all.

FarPastGone

01/07/04, 03:06 PM

Originally posted by MaybeOneDay
I really didn't find any of these jokes funny at all.

itsHAMMERTIME05

01/07/04, 03:44 PM

i have so REAL good jokes, at least i think so...
what did 50 cent say when his gramma gave him a sweater??
g-unit??

why did michael jackson go to wallmart?
he heard little boys pants were half off!

and one more mj

whats the dif. between michael jackson and acne??
acne waits to cum on your face until your at least 13

FarPastGone

01/07/04, 03:46 PM

Originally posted by itsHAMMERTIME05
why did michael jackson go to wallmart?
he heard little boys pants were half off!

Hahahaha....that was a good one!!!!

worldstheory

01/07/04, 04:20 PM

I'm afraid that I have to side with Don Socrates on this one. You guys are being serious fucktards. Calm the fuck down. If you don't like this thread, then don't reply to it. You know what happens to a thread that no one replies to? It quickly gets buried under all the other threads until it is forgotten. You're frickin reading stuff on the Internet, it's not like the guy is literally in your face forcing you to hear his jokes. If you don't like it, then stop reading it.

Fuck!

Don Socrates

01/07/04, 04:36 PM

I have some jokes (feminists please don't be offended)

Why did the woman cross the road?
It doesn't matter! What the hell is she doing out of the kitchen.

Why don't women need watches?
Because there are clocks on the oven.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing! Someone's already told her twice!

Now, I'm not saying that abusing women is funny, just that sometimes she deserves it. G'night all!

piebaldkid42

01/07/04, 04:43 PM

*chills a bit*
and i will contribute one

what do michael jackson and McDonalds have in common?
they both stick their meat between two buns

MaybeOneDay

01/07/04, 04:46 PM

Originally posted by piebaldkid42
*chills a bit*
and i will contribute one

what do michael jackson and McDonalds have in common?
they both stick their meat between two buns

best one yet

worldstheory

01/07/04, 04:53 PM

Originally posted by Don Socrates
I have some jokes (feminists please don't be offended)

Why did the woman cross the road?
It doesn't matter! What the hell is she doing out of the kitchen.

Why don't women need watches?
Because there are clocks on the oven.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing! Someone's already told her twice!

Now, I'm not saying that abusing women is funny, just that sometimes she deserves it. G'night all! funny

Originally posted by piebaldkid42 *chills a bit*
and i will contribute one

what do michael jackson and McDonalds have in common?
they both stick their meat between two bunsnot funny

worldstheory

01/07/04, 04:54 PM

here's one from me:

what's long, green, and smells like pork?

kermit the frog's fingers

PunkR0xx0rs!LOL

01/07/04, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by worldstheory
here's one from me:

what's long, green, and smells like pork?

kermit the frog's fingers

Brilliant!

dretti

01/07/04, 05:19 PM

Originally posted by worldstheory
here's one from me:

what's long, green, and smells like pork?

kermit the frog's fingers

did you get that out of maxim?

AlwaysPunkin45

01/07/04, 06:22 PM

I think Don Socrates, worldstheory, and punkroxxers have an alliance or somethin..:rolleyes:

rcalica

01/07/04, 07:14 PM

Wow. Last time i checked, those jokes wern't funny

MaybeOneDay

01/07/04, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by rcalica
Wow. Last time i checked, those jokes wern't funny

Yeah, we've already established that.

worldstheory

01/07/04, 08:02 PM

Originally posted by dretti
did you get that out of maxim? no

worldstheory

01/07/04, 08:05 PM

Originally posted by AlwaysPunkin45
I think Don Socrates, worldstheory, and punkroxxers have an alliance or somethin..:rolleyes: nope, I just think they're really funny, and Don Socrates seems really intelligent, and I think it's a shame that they get so much shit for it.

takingbackrufio

01/07/04, 08:05 PM

The latter jokes by Ben, Brenton, etc are quite funny.

em0

01/08/04, 06:49 AM

Because I don't agree with every person on the forum ganging up on someone and attempting to have them banned just because he has a different sense of humor. If you don't like his jokes, why do you read the threads that he starts?

ok you got me, agreed. :p