my first song - please check it out

[xcountryqt09]

This is my first song and its about that special first love I had, and cared about more than anything. I've had trouble getting over it for a while now, so I wrote the song to express my emotions toward him.




I’m sending all my love
Best wishes to you.
I know that you will
Always find someone new.
A perfect dream come true.

So long…..
I’ve tried.
A love of one’s not strong enough for two.
The tears fall…..
And all I have to offer is a simple wish for you.

I’m sending all my love
Best wishes to you.
I know that you will
Always find someone new.
A perfect dream come true.

A present before you go…
All my love, a broken heart,
My soul..
Now broken, shattered before you.

And You, you reap what is yours..
Take it,
My broken, shattered heart.
See the scars you’ve left behind.
Just what the year’s created…

I’m sending all my love
Best wishes to you.
I know that you will
Always find someone new.
A perfect dream come true.

I’m sending all my love
Best wishes to you.
I know that you will
Always find someone new.
A perfect dream come true.

[Alex Djaferis]

simple, but it works really well..i like it. I can imagine this being like an ataris song or something.

[xxMichaelxx]

i really like it, but you had two typos. 4th verse- sole should be soul... and 5th verse- scares should be scars... other than that, i like, its good to get a different point of view, as most songs about break ups are usually from a guys perspective. i guess it could go either way, but its interesting to know that break up songs are not sex orientated...

[xcountryqt09]

Its not a break up song. I never had the guy, probably never will, thats what kills me - and one of the points to the song.

Any other comments/ suggestions?

[xxMichaelxx]

oops sorry, i guess thats what i thought it was about my bad

[xcountryqt09]

Dee Dum Dee Deeand thing else? Anyone?