PunkR0xx0rs!LOL
01/08/04, 03:35 AM
*Saddam is sitting in a cell, chained to a chair. The door opens and two generals walk in.*
Brown: Hello Saddam. I’m General Brown, and this is General Motors.
Saddam: Haha.
Brown: What is so funny?
Saddam: His name. General Motors.
Brown: Look here Saddam. You are a prisoner, now you show some respect to General Ford Motors.
Saddam: Bwahahahahaha.
Brown [aside]: Hmm. It appears this is going to be harder than we thought.
Motors[aside]: Let me handle this.
*Saddam is still chuckling.*
Motors: Okay Saddam. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Where are the weapons of mass destruction?
Saddam: Try looking at co-ordinates 72-39 NW.
Motors: Thank you for you’re co-operation Saddam. Let’s go radio that in.
*An hour later they return.*
Brown: Saddam, you lied to us.
Saddam: I did no such thing.
Brown: We sent troops to that sight and all they found were a crane, three bulldozers and a cement mixer.
Saddam: So?
Brown: We said weapons of mass destruction, not weapons of mass construction. Now where are the weapons?
Saddam: How can I be expected to think, when I look like a bum. I want a shave.
Brown: Okay Saddam, we’ll clean you up.
Saddam: But I don’t want the old moustache. I want a new image. Like someone who commands respect. Like..
http://www.asticles.com/graphics/navigation/hitler.jpg
Hitler
Or
http://www.texnet.it/oroscopo/new/rasputin.jpg
Rasputin
Or
http://image.pathfinder.com/teenpeople/images/2002/fronts/chat/110802_david.jpg
Craig David
Brown: We’ll send in our top stylist.
Saddam: And seeing as Christmas is just around the corner, I want a present.
Brown: What? But you’re not even Christian.
Saddam: Oh, so are you saying that because I’m not a Christian, I’m not good enough to get a present. You Americans are typical. Treat everyone else like filth.
Motors: Okay, okay. We’ll get a present. What do you want?
Saddam: A locksmith to pick these handcuffs. Haha. I kid, I kid. I want one of those new Saddam dolls. And I also want a George Bush one and a Dick Cheney one too.
Motors: Fine, and then will you tell us where the weapons are?
Saddam: Sure
*15 minutes later the present arrives.*
Motors: Okay Saddam, here you go.
Saddam: I can’t unwrap this. My hands are still cuffed.
Motors: Okay we’ll unlock you but you gotta promise not to make any sudden moves or we will be forced to shoot.
Saddam: What if I sneeze. Will you shoot me then?
Motors: No.
*They take his handcuffs off and Saddam begins to unwrap his present.*
Saddam: I wonder what it’s going to be?
Brown: It’s a Saddam, Bush and Cheney doll just like you asked for.
Saddam: Oh great. Thanks for spoiling it for me.
Motors: Jesus Brown, why did you have to go and do that?
Brown: You asked for it just a few minutes ago.
Saddam: But don’t kids ask for presents every year with a Christmas List. You must be a bad father if you just like spoiling Christmas like that. Cause you spoilt it, you gotta let me play with the dolls for a bit.
Brown: Fine. You have one minute.
Saddam: Awesome.
*Saddam picks up the Saddam doll.*
Saddam: I am Saddam. I am the coolest dictator around. Take that Cheney
*The Saddam doll dropkicks the Cheney doll.*
Saddam:Eat fists Bush
*The Saddam doll begins punching the Bush doll.*
Saddam:Oh no. I’m President Bush and I’m a big stinky head. Oh Cheney, let’s have bum sex.
*Saddam forces the Bush doll to start bumming the Cheney doll. Brown snatches the dolls away.*
Brown: Gimme that crap.
Motors: Careful what you say. Calling the Bush doll crap could count as treason.
Saddam: Oh no. Stand back guys. I gotta sneeze. Infact turn around and close your eyes. This could be messy.
Brown: Whatever you say Saddam.
*Brown and Motors turn around and close their eyes. Saddam rushes for the door and runs into the hallway.*
Saddam: I’m free. Haha. Stupid American Swine!
Brown: Is it one of those false alarm sneezes Saddam? Saddam?
*They turn around.*
Brown: Oh shit.
Motors: Dammit. This is the third dictator to escape the Pentagon this year.
Brown: Hello Saddam. I’m General Brown, and this is General Motors.
Saddam: Haha.
Brown: What is so funny?
Saddam: His name. General Motors.
Brown: Look here Saddam. You are a prisoner, now you show some respect to General Ford Motors.
Saddam: Bwahahahahaha.
Brown [aside]: Hmm. It appears this is going to be harder than we thought.
Motors[aside]: Let me handle this.
*Saddam is still chuckling.*
Motors: Okay Saddam. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Where are the weapons of mass destruction?
Saddam: Try looking at co-ordinates 72-39 NW.
Motors: Thank you for you’re co-operation Saddam. Let’s go radio that in.
*An hour later they return.*
Brown: Saddam, you lied to us.
Saddam: I did no such thing.
Brown: We sent troops to that sight and all they found were a crane, three bulldozers and a cement mixer.
Saddam: So?
Brown: We said weapons of mass destruction, not weapons of mass construction. Now where are the weapons?
Saddam: How can I be expected to think, when I look like a bum. I want a shave.
Brown: Okay Saddam, we’ll clean you up.
Saddam: But I don’t want the old moustache. I want a new image. Like someone who commands respect. Like..
http://www.asticles.com/graphics/navigation/hitler.jpg
Hitler
Or
http://www.texnet.it/oroscopo/new/rasputin.jpg
Rasputin
Or
http://image.pathfinder.com/teenpeople/images/2002/fronts/chat/110802_david.jpg
Craig David
Brown: We’ll send in our top stylist.
Saddam: And seeing as Christmas is just around the corner, I want a present.
Brown: What? But you’re not even Christian.
Saddam: Oh, so are you saying that because I’m not a Christian, I’m not good enough to get a present. You Americans are typical. Treat everyone else like filth.
Motors: Okay, okay. We’ll get a present. What do you want?
Saddam: A locksmith to pick these handcuffs. Haha. I kid, I kid. I want one of those new Saddam dolls. And I also want a George Bush one and a Dick Cheney one too.
Motors: Fine, and then will you tell us where the weapons are?
Saddam: Sure
*15 minutes later the present arrives.*
Motors: Okay Saddam, here you go.
Saddam: I can’t unwrap this. My hands are still cuffed.
Motors: Okay we’ll unlock you but you gotta promise not to make any sudden moves or we will be forced to shoot.
Saddam: What if I sneeze. Will you shoot me then?
Motors: No.
*They take his handcuffs off and Saddam begins to unwrap his present.*
Saddam: I wonder what it’s going to be?
Brown: It’s a Saddam, Bush and Cheney doll just like you asked for.
Saddam: Oh great. Thanks for spoiling it for me.
Motors: Jesus Brown, why did you have to go and do that?
Brown: You asked for it just a few minutes ago.
Saddam: But don’t kids ask for presents every year with a Christmas List. You must be a bad father if you just like spoiling Christmas like that. Cause you spoilt it, you gotta let me play with the dolls for a bit.
Brown: Fine. You have one minute.
Saddam: Awesome.
*Saddam picks up the Saddam doll.*
Saddam: I am Saddam. I am the coolest dictator around. Take that Cheney
*The Saddam doll dropkicks the Cheney doll.*
Saddam:Eat fists Bush
*The Saddam doll begins punching the Bush doll.*
Saddam:Oh no. I’m President Bush and I’m a big stinky head. Oh Cheney, let’s have bum sex.
*Saddam forces the Bush doll to start bumming the Cheney doll. Brown snatches the dolls away.*
Brown: Gimme that crap.
Motors: Careful what you say. Calling the Bush doll crap could count as treason.
Saddam: Oh no. Stand back guys. I gotta sneeze. Infact turn around and close your eyes. This could be messy.
Brown: Whatever you say Saddam.
*Brown and Motors turn around and close their eyes. Saddam rushes for the door and runs into the hallway.*
Saddam: I’m free. Haha. Stupid American Swine!
Brown: Is it one of those false alarm sneezes Saddam? Saddam?
*They turn around.*
Brown: Oh shit.
Motors: Dammit. This is the third dictator to escape the Pentagon this year.