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[Falloutboy69]

This is more of a poem than a song, but im gonna try and format into a song.......if u have any comments/suggestions please reply.


NEW ENDINGS
-------------------

Do you feel it like I do?
Heart pounding?......Mine too.

As I reach the end, you are my new beginning
My love for you is never ending.

How beautiful is the smile on your face
The only thing that saves me from this place.

Your eyes so full of happiness
could never wish for more than this.

You caught me when I fell,
Only you saw what no one else could tell.

You mend my broken heart,
so many times torn apart.

The worst is past,
Saving my best for last.

Knowing you'll be there,
Washes away all fear.

Hoping it will never end,
My first love and last friend.

[BuriedAlive]

seemed kind of childish. i couldnt feel any emotion by reading this. it was a poor example of a song. hopefully you continue to write and show me something better.

[aurora]

In response to Chris, I thought it was simple, but it seemed to work. I don't know it was just very sweet and to the point. I thought it was nice.

[xxMichaelxx]

no offense falloutboy, but that song seemed like an 8 year old wrote it. you need at least to make it more complex than a simple a/b pattern, it seems more like a couplet than a song.

[Falloutboy69]

Like i said it was more like a poem than a song...... yeah it is simple, but it conveyed my point perfectly and it came out of my head during a ride home from someone's house....so i decided to write it down.....now i'll try and spread it out, add lyrics and make it more into a song.......thanks everyone for the input wheter it be good or bad

[MaybeOneDay]

In response to Chris, I thought it was simple, but it seemed to work. I don't know it was just very sweet and to the point. I thought it was nice.
__

[xxMichaelxx]

oh shit im sorry falloutboy, i guess i skipped over that first line, i didnt realize you meant it to be a poem anyway, in that case, i applaud you, it is very expressive. i take back what i said earlier bro

[Falloutboy69]

thx man