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xBITCHxPLEASEx
06/05/08, 09:06 AM
My band wanted me to write an acoustic song for an EP, and this is what I have so far. My first real delve into songwriting. Generic subject matter, but I like it. It's not finished, needs a third verse.

Enjoy. ^_^

I'll Tell You What's Playing At The Roxie

(First verse)
She had the right intentions, but it was
wrong place wrong time from the start,
now she's left alone in the big bad city
To fend her lonely poor self.

Remember the words he said to me,
that fateful imminent day,
"This cannot be, my heart has strayed,
it beckons for the other girl."

(bridge)
She sits and waits,
same bench, same time,
waiting for her true love
to come strolling along.

(Chorus)
Poor thing, you'll never make it,
why don't you come in from the cold?
Cast off thy nightly color,
And just let your feelings fold.

He won't come back, that much I'm sure,
Couldn't look into your eyes,
and say the words he couldn't bear,
to even shout at the sky.

(Second verse)
A run of the mill sweetheart,
he fell deep in love at the first glance.
Now he's left alone on the side of the street,
making his way back home.

Remember the words he said to me,
that sunny picturesque day,
"What's burned out has left me cold,
need to rekindle this old flame."

He sits at home,
struggling alone,
slowly dialing seven digits,
making his last call.

(Chorus)
Poor thing, you'll never make it,
why don't you come in from the cold?
Cast off thy nightly color,
And just let your feelings fold.

That girl won't take you back, that much I'm sure,
Couldn't look into your eyes,
and see the change, the sacrifice,
the pact you made with the sky.

Third Verse
(Such a shame...young love has taken such an ugly turn these days...)
Maybe some time apart,
that could be the key.
But little did they know,
time would swallow it whole.

Swallow it whole.

(Chorus)
Poor thing, you'll never make it,
why don't you come in from the cold?
Cast off thy nightly color,
And just let your feelings fold.

This won't end good, that much I'm sure,
For him you should not cry.
Everyone, they die alone,
that's what he told the sky.

The sky!

xBITCHxPLEASEx
06/21/08, 09:58 PM
EDIT: finished it.

TK
06/21/08, 10:07 PM
If you're looking to be lyrically creative, you're not. This just seemed pretty generic filled with some force rhymes. Only thing I liked about this was Let your feelings fold. The rest was mediocre at best.

xBITCHxPLEASEx
06/22/08, 04:43 PM
If you're looking to be lyrically creative, you're not.


I wasn't. I figure if I'm going to attempt to write a song, I could at least attempt to write a generic song first.


But thanks anyway. :3

a speedo model
06/22/08, 09:00 PM
I wasn't. I figure if I'm going to attempt to write a song, I could at least attempt to write a generic song first.

An interesting approach.