Discrete and Unintentional (suggesstions plz)

[Falloutboy69]

Discrete and Unintentional
---------------------------------------

I Watch these souls grow
up and out like wild fire
having that feeling last
Would be my only desire
If only you could look forward instead of back,
You'd remedy these things you so desperatley lack
old faces pass
while new arrise
to think back on then
just close my eyes
I'll pump my heart so full of hope
just to realize what I already knew
Jump back into my skin
Just in time to start a new
I'll rest my heart on one whisper
wish to hear more, untold, unknown
secretive yet completely obvious
what you think goes unshown
I'll wipe these blood stained hands clean
Snap back into the unseen
Though i cant foretell my future
I wont stand back and wait
Just dont forget that
My hands decide your fate

[punkpixie]

"ill rest my heart on one whisper"-very nice line, its delicate. I also like the last rhyming bit that ends with "my hands decide your fate" -great end to the song.

[Falloutboy69]

Thanks

[aurora]

Wow, I like that alot.
I really like this part...

If only you could look forward instead of back,
You'd remedy these things you so desperatley lack

and this...

I'll pump my heart so full of hope
just to realize what I already knew
Jump back into my skin
Just in time to start a new

Also, punkpixie is right, that is such a great line.

I'll rest my heart on one whisper

Well done.

[Falloutboy69]

Thanks a lot, I just wish more people would leave feedback.