Waitin on Death

[Timma]

Hoods and capes
N scythes and snakes
And everything that scares me
Hopes and dreams <- Chorus
Of fishing streams
Mem'ries flash before me
My notice has been sent
Waiting for the end
Exit from stage left
Waiting for my death

Made my plans for the afterlife
Have my fun, stay up past midnight
No regrets, I hope it's true
Can I spend tomorrow with you
Death waits for me, I wait for death
And spend my life 'til there's nothin left
And I'm completely ne---rved
Of what's to co-----me


Chorus


Waiting for death means living a life
Don't take it so serious, you'll nev'r survive
You have to understand life's game
Don't need to be sick, or old, or lame
Just do your best to ascend
And we'll meet together in the end


once again, please just suggestions.

[chaosB4storm]

Exit from stage left
Waiting for my death

i would advise you not to you the 'stage' theme in just one line in a poem (or any theme) if you suggest a theme early on, try to keep it showing up here and there throughout the poem.

Waiting for death means living a life
Don't take it so serious, you'll nev'r survive
You have to understand life's game

this sort of take on the meaning of life has been done too many times, try to come up with a more unique angle in the future.

Just do your best to ascend
And we'll meet together in the end

'ascend' seems to be used here for the sole reason of making the two lines rhyme. A little too contrived. Expand your boundaries.

other than that, acceptable flow with some patches of imagery.

[Timma]

thank you i will work in those areas