Headlights

[YouthMovement]

So this is this is the first song I'm putting up here. It's the typical song about betrayal and heartbreak, kind of an exaggerated view on a breakup of mine written from slightly less mature eyes than the way i'd see it now. But I'm still fairly proud of it, although it's not my best. I think i did an alright job of straying from cookie cutter cliches, or atleast putting a slightly new twist on them. Anyways, here it is:

Headlights:
Bags packed with faint traces,
Of what used to be.
It’s five minutes ‘til checkout,
Are you thinking of me?
Well, that bus is not gonna wait,
Your fare’s already been paid.
And those tires aren’t ready,
For this path that you’ve laid.

I hope you’re baptized by those headlights,
As you head for the hills.
I hope you fare well with your farewell,
And the pain it instills.
And if there’s room for one last thing to say,
Well let me just say that I’m still here if you can’t find your way.

This clock just keeps running circles,
Around all of my days.
It seems not even these fog lamps,
Can do a thing to this haze.
Clouded thoughts and intentions,
That you had on that night.
I see now that I was wrong,
But that doesn’t give you the right.

I hope you’re baptized by those headlights,
As you head for the hills.
I hope you fare well with your farewell,
And the pain it instills.
And if there’s room for one last thing to say,
Well let me… just let me say…

Not stone, not brick, not oceans,
Could ever keep this at bay.
There aren't enough words in this world,
To speak what I have to say,
And when it comes to you,
I don’t know which ones to choose,
Because “love” has been abused,
And “hate” is overused…

I hope you’re baptized by those headlights,
As you head for the hills.
I hope you fare well with your farewell,
And the pain it instills.
And if there’s room for one last thing to say,
Just know that I’m doing just fine now that you’re out of my way.

myspace.com/daexies

[stendhal]

not bad... i get real flaccid when i read words like 'pain', 'love', and 'hate' within lyrics.

also, i don't know if it's because i'm way tired, or half stoned, but with some parts e.g., 'faint traces of what used to be', i don't know what you're trying to get across. it might just be me though.

not bad at all for being 17. keep writing... i think you'll develope well.

[YouthMovement]

not bad... i get real flaccid when i read words like 'pain', 'love', and 'hate' within lyrics.

also, i don't know if it's because i'm way tired, or half stoned, but with some parts e.g., 'faint traces of what used to be', i don't know what you're trying to get across. it might just be me though.

not bad at all for being 17. keep writing... i think you'll develope well.

yeah i hear ya about the love and hate thing, but sometimes it's hard to avoid. i don't know if this was a good first choice to post.

and with the 'faint traces' thing, let me try to explain it. you know how when you get out of a breakup, there's so many little things that remind you of a person? like a shirt, a book, a song. things like that. that's what i mean. pretty much saying that even the small things, like their material posessions that you spent time around can just remind you of the whole situation/past. i hope that makes some sense.

and thanks for the input =) i'll be putting more up shortly

[stendhal]

oohhh, i see. my mind isn't as... ahem, 'cloudy' as it was this morning.

i dig.

[leezer]

I hope you’re baptized by those headlights,
As you head for the hills.
I hope you fare well with your farewell,
And the pain it instills.
And if there’s room for one last thing to say,
Well let me just say that I’m still here if you can’t find your way

That bit 'the pain it instills' I think you should change that to 'you can paint it in stills' as in painting your new experiences in still images. It just entered my head and I really think it works. That's all i really have to say, I might read this again when I've more to offer

[YouthMovement]

I hope you’re baptized by those headlights,
As you head for the hills.
I hope you fare well with your farewell,
And the pain it instills.
And if there’s room for one last thing to say,
Well let me just say that I’m still here if you can’t find your way

That bit 'the pain it instills' I think you should change that to 'you can paint it in stills' as in painting your new experiences in still images. It just entered my head and I really think it works. That's all i really have to say, I might read this again when I've more to offer

thats a good line, however it doesn't fit the mesage im trying to portray.

[yournewhaircut]

I love the baptized by headlights line! haha It reminds me of this line I wrote "I'll take the nails out of my hands and give you brain surgery". Religious imagery used for violence is awesome...

[YouthMovement]

I love the baptized by headlights line! haha It reminds me of this line I wrote "I'll take the nails out of my hands and give you brain surgery". Religious imagery used for violence is awesome...

haha thanks dude. however, she's not getting hit by the car, you know that right?? lol.

[yournewhaircut]

haha thanks dude. however, she's not getting hit by the car, you know that right?? lol.

hm... Idk man. It sounds a lot like she is getting her head smashed. I guess you should change it a little bit if you don't want that interpretation to be possible, or maybe I just need to read it more closely.

edit: Actually the last line of the verse makes it sound a lot less malicious.

[YouthMovement]

hm... Idk man. It sounds a lot like she is getting her head smashed. I guess you should change it a little bit if you don't want that interpretation to be possible, or maybe I just need to read it more closely.

edit: Actually the last line of the verse makes it sound a lot less malicious.

haha i def see where you're coming from with that, but thats not what i intended. but thats what so great about music anyways, is all the different things people get from it.