do you think i should talk to her?

[open mind]

i recently broke off all communication with my ex (for a variety of reasons i'd rather not get into) but she just sent me this message.

"I may be all the things you say of me, a drunk, immature, bitch, so on and so forth but I still have a heart and I am sorry for all that I have done to you. I know it no longer matters to you, but I feel the need to apologize for wasting your time. These last few years have been wonderful, and I'm sorry they weren't the greatest for you. I wish I hadn't done what I did, but I know that saying it doesn't excuse it. I love you with all of my heart and I will always love you. It's my belief that when you say you love someone, it means forever, for if you stop, then you really didn't love them in the first place. I know you hate me and maybe you never really loved me. I screwed up over and over and over again and it's my fault I know.
You're everything I could have ever hope for in a man. (it's not an excuse, just an explanation), I think that maybe the saying, too much of a good thing is never good is true , so I ran away from it, or did my best to make it go away. I'm sorry I drove you away with my attitude and behavior. I seriously would change what I did if I could. I feel such remorse. I know I know, you don't care. You don't believe what I say, nothing I can say would change how you feel. I just want you to know how much pain I've put myself through because i'm scared of you. Not you really, but what you offered.
I know that it doesn't matter. But lately all I can think about is being with you, being a part of your life, living with you, growing old with you, marrying you, having children with you. Anything just to be with you. Too little too late right? I really did mean everything I said in our last conversation, about all the ways I loved you and all the ways I missed you. We never know what we have until it's too late. I wish there was a way to resolve this....in some way. You may not care to, but if you ever do, let me know and I'll do whatever it takes. Anything."

i've still got a thing for her and we were together off and on for about 3 years, but i've got no real idea if it's a good idea to let her back in my life or not......so i'd like some input (that doesn't only consist of suggestions concerning anal).

[The_kok]

no

[jusscali]

It's a toss up...do you still love her?

[open mind]

It's a toss up...do you still love her?

yeah i do.......but i don't really trust that it's a healthy love for me to feel.

[jusscali]

yeah i do.......but i don't really trust that it's a healthy love for me to feel.
How so, what happened?

I mean at the very least you could unblock her or whatever and tell her that you appreciate what she said but at this point you feel you need to take the time to figure out whats best for you. Everything takes some time - if she wants everything she said, she'll respect it and wait.

[Ailite]

I'm in a similar situation.

[anamericangod]

yeah i do.......but i don't really trust that it's a healthy love for me to feel.

I think you've answered your own question with this.

[jusscali]

I wish some of my exes would say something similar - damn. I envy your indecision

[open mind]

How so, what happened?

I mean at the very least you could unblock her or whatever and tell her that you appreciate what she said but at this point you feel you need to take the time to figure out whats best for you. Everything takes some time - if she wants everything she said, she'll respect it and wait.

not being really appreciated, or let in alot of the time. she's gotten drunk and fucked around in the past........i'd rather not get into it in great depth on a message board.
i've already told her that i need time to figure things out.......but then she went and acted like a dipshit during said time.

[open mind]

I think you've answered your own question with this.

logically yes........but love is a illogical emotion.

[amysaurus]

tl;dr. Summary pls?

[dontsneeze]

don't do it. she's fucked around on you in the past, so you can't trust her.

in my opinion, there has to be a large degree of trust in a relationship to make it work. if you don't have that, fuck it. from your posts, i think you know what you should do.

[open mind]

don't do it. she's fucked around on you in the past, so you can't trust her.

in my opinion, there has to be a large degree of trust in a relationship to make it work. if you don't have that, fuck it. from your posts, i think you know what you should do.

yeah i probably do.......i guess i'm really just looking for a little validation concerning where i currently stand.

[LV03]

no. I think if you get back together, it may be all fine and dandy for a while but then eventually it'll all go back down the shitter again.

[Burning Star IV]

Don't do it. All women are evil.

It's a trap.

[Nevuk]

I'd talk to her once, but probably not anymore than that, unless it went entirely differently from what I was expecting. That's only based off of what you've said in this thread, though, and I've always a been the obsessive type, its really whatever you want. You've admitted you love her, and the reason for this being unhealthy is that it is usually going to wind up hurting you. However, at the same time I'd think it to be painful to get a message like that and continue ignoring them. If someone treated me like shit, I ignored them and they eventually forgot about me, I'd feel validated in doing it, but if the opposite occurred beyond the point where it being an uninvolved act was likely it would be slightly different. Those are just the thoughts I have on it, but you have way more experience with this specific person and know more about them than I do.

[FallenAngel117]

Don't do it. All women are evil.

It's a trap.


lol how did you know? i thought that was womens bigges secret jks




back to the topic: im currenty in your situation.. except im the female. i just havent screwed my ex around as yours has.

if it were the first time she'd screwed you around i'd say go for it, we all deserve second chances right? but how many second chances have you given her? sounds like a few an it really depends if you realy believe it will be different this time

[heyzombiehitler]

It aint no fun if the boys can't have none.

[infamous_alias]

No. Actually, there's probably nothing wrong with talking to her, but don't get it in your head to get back together. Have some self respect and realize that she might want to grow old with you, but you don't want to grow old with someone that fucked you over at some point. Very few people actually deserve that.

[DickfaceChillah]

I'm not condoning violence...



























But blow up her house.

[FallenAngel117]

lol

[hockeyguitar99]

yeah i do.......but i don't really trust that it's a healthy love for me to feel.

i think you already know the answer bud.

[resrchmnkygrl6]

tl;dr. Summary pls?
you prolly read it at this point...

but basically his (ex-)girlfriend did something that put a rift in their relationship and she realizes her mistake(s) and apologizes and says she'll do anything to get him back. he says he's unsure if she should..etc etc etc.

[m_rue]

Talk to her for some closure but remember there were reasons why you broke up in the first place to keep yourself from getting sucked back into the relationship.

[DannySniper]

Probably too young to be commenting on your situation, as marriage never entered my plans, but a similar situation happened to me, on two separate occasions, with two different girls.

First time, I spoked to the girl after, second time, I didn't.

The second time definitely had the better outcome.

If that helps :shrug:

[Willy McFurgle]

I'm not condoning violence...



























But blow up her house.

Haha

[thespearkid]

Nope.

[DannySniper]

Nope.

666 posts. I'm logging off before my superstitions kill me. Unless you post again.

[thespearkid]

666 posts. I'm logging off before my superstitions kill me. Unless you post again.
Ha, didn't even notice.

[updownleftright]

i'd personally wait it out. if you talk to her, you must understand that the only thing on her mind is getting you back so you have to go in knowing this. if it's been three years on/off, and you're wondering the longevity of this, you should probably just wait another year. see if she messes up again in that time, all while you can see what other fish are out there. however don't tell her any of this, then you can know if she's really serious if she comes through.

[chronomic]

a healthy lasting relationship must be based off trust. if there is any doubt of that then it's not going to be good for you. i don't think there is a problem with you reconciling with her, but giving yourself back to her is something you should really think hard about...because i wouln't let her back in. and i can say with a certain amount of honesty that i'm in/have been in a similar situation for a while now. and as a result a woman came into my life that has the potential to be something really worth giving in to. miles beyond what i thought was the only thing i had. but that was only possible because i had to give her up, let her out of my heart to allow someone who's right for you in. it happened to me and it was honestly the last thing i could've imagined happening.

i don't truly know your situation, but that note she wrote you does speak on a few different levels, even to someone who doesn't intimately know your situation with her. so moral of my story is you have to believe there's someone who's really made for you, and you will only find her once you let this one go.

i feel ya man, good luck.

[chronomic]

or just blow the fuck outta her house like that dickface killa dude said.

[FallenAngel117]

yea. that works too

[TK]

Pull the band aid off fast, not slow.

[leezer]

I've always lived by this saying and I think it's very fitting for your situation :

"If she takes is up the ass, don't let her pass, if she only takes it up the pussy, set her loosey"

[AlaskanFever]

i think you should man up and stop letting her play with your mind. it doesn't help that she knows she has your heart in her hands, that fact that you allow her to pull those strings time and time again shows how vulnerable you are and you keep allowing yourself to get hurt. if there are no consequences then there can be no change.

[xXaLLiOo]

that message or letter or whatever she sent you is a bunch of BS. its hard to accept but its true. its all the kind of stuff girls just say when theyre upset and lonely. if you both really think its possible that you guys are each others "one" or whatever then my advice would be go date other people and don't try it again until you're both over the break up.