man and angels

[xmy.only.exitx]

While selfish angels bathe in heaven's fountains
And wash their lips in shimmering sweet elixir,
We mortals have our wounds and worldly mountains
To heal away and to be buried under.

With no wings to fly away from painful misery,
No light of halos to tell of divine grace,
No heavenly harps to bring serene tranquillity
And too little time to leave behind a trace.

[leezer]

hmmm there were bits that I liked. It seemed a bit impulsive, which is good but also makes it seems a bit dreamy. I liked the line 'we mortals have our wounds and worldly mountains'. I've been in moods where i've written like this but I think you should have taken a bit more time to add more dimensions to it. I liked the read but it was very short.

[xmy.only.exitx]

thanks and yeah i always seem to write on impulse. its like something that i just have to write down to make me feel better. i guess i'll write longer poems in the future.

[checkered.stars]

This was nice short little poem, but it lacked a good rhythm and I agree that it is very one-dimensional.

[xmy.only.exitx]

hhmmmmmmmmm. i might expand on this one and try to add more dimensions.