not ready

[cityfastasleep]

I close my eyes
because I want it to go away.
I'm weak, I let it slip.
She's tired of my "lying" and my lack of will.
I'm tired of hearing usual people yell.
I want to hear you yell.
I don't think you can.
I want to hear me yell.
I don't think I can.
but I thought I couldn't dance until I was happy again.

we yelled together in imperfection to the weather man
we said, "why!"
we said, "no!"
we yelled nonsense
and that night I tried to dance myself to death.
to death.

I was stuck on you not liking me
but really it was me that didn't like me all along.
I close my eyes
because I'm focusing on the background.
I'm tired of being weak.
I want to hear new sounds.