Halp! This girl keeps switching on me.

[Cure4commoncold]

This girl keeps texting me when she's drunk to come fuck her. Everytime she does though I'm asleep. Then when she's sober she's all like "I'm afraid because I'm a virgin I'll bleedz all over you." It seems like the only way I'm gunna get to rail this chick is if I don't fucking sleep EVER again or if I create some sort of device that's let me know when she's getting drunk. Any other ideas?

[mynameisX]

Get her drunk yourself?

[matty p]

Get her drunk yourself?

ya i agree..was gonna say go out together next time?

[Broken Parachute]

Did she really say "bleedz all over you?"

[KandiDinosaur]

I bet she isn't a virgin.
For one, no one I know bled when their vag got busted.
But thats just me.

Get her drunk, she'll never know you stick your peepee in.

[Cure4commoncold]

She really is a virgin and she really did say something along the lines of that. I believe it was more of "Ew but I'll bleed on you and it'll be all gross and shit and it's gunna hurt really bad." I can't drink alcohol so the whole idea of going out and getting her drunk just to do her seems a little too New Jersey Frat Boy-ish to me. Doing her however when she requests it when she's drunk and I had nothing to do with her getting drunk is very proper though XD. I get the impression she's afraid of mansticks or something though.

[KandiDinosaur]

Well if you really wanna bang her, you'll find a way.
If it means slipping some pcp in her boozles, so be it.
But I would hope you would be nicer than that.


She probably doesnt want to bang you. Or she would have,

[Cure4commoncold]

PCP would make her want to fucking kill me not bang me.
Yeah I think she's just a drunk text slut. Judging from the "I need your cum like diabetics need insulin." text I got the other night. :-(

[Hamlet]

This girl keeps texting me when she's drunk to come fuck her. Everytime she does though I'm asleep.

You have to reverse the situation.

Fuck her while you're drunk, and she's sleeping.

[andrew4045]

all these ideas should halp you greatly. gee tee eff oh

[andrew4045]

PCP would make her want to fucking kill me not bang me.
Yeah I think she's just a drunk text slut. Judging from the "I need your cum like diabetics need insulin." text I got the other night. :-(

i am diabetic, and officially offended. not a topic to joke about

[SauzaGold]

You have to reverse the situation.

Fuck her while you're drunk, and she's sleeping.

do it

[Cure4commoncold]

i am diabetic, and officially offended. not a topic to joke about

That wasn't a joke, she literally said that. Learn to read quotes? "" These aren't bunny ears my friend....

[Bites the Dust]

i am diabetic, and officially offended. not a topic to joke about


I agree.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

Hmmmm maybe you should leave your phone on a high ringer. So that way you can hear her text, wake up, and have some fun.

[Cure4commoncold]

I disagree

[Cure4commoncold]

Hmmmm maybe you should leave your phone on a high ringer. So that way you can hear her text, wake up, and have some fun.

My Dad would baseball bat me before I even knew what happened if I did that. I think she just knows I'm asleep when she sends them and she's playing some game with me. Plus I'm afraid she'd talk about the environment while we were doing the mattress mambo. I'd have to gag her. Knowing her she'd probably be into that.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

My Dad would baseball bat me before I even knew what happened if I did that. I think she just knows I'm asleep when she sends them and she's playing some game with me. Plus I'm afraid she'd talk about the environment while we were doing the mattress mambo. I'd have to gag her. Knowing her she'd probably be into that.


Whaaat! You're 20. I think you can make the decision on who you want to screw and who you don't want to screw. Why would she talk about the environment? Tree hugger?

[Cure4commoncold]

He'd baseball bat me because of the noise of my phone being so LOUD in the middle of the night not because of me going to sex some girl. She's a pretend tree hugger who drives a jeep cherokee. She won't hesitate to preach your head off about recycling (which I do) or how everyone hurting the environment with our farts.

[remedyeli]

everyone hurting the environment with our farts.

Actually cow farts eat away the ozone.
I laughed when I heard that fact.

[Cure4commoncold]

Yeah, farts = serious business, who would've known?

[Fallinto_rhythm]

He'd baseball bat me because of the noise of my phone being so LOUD in the middle of the night not because of me going to sex some girl. She's a pretend tree hugger who drives a jeep cherokee. She won't hesitate to preach your head off about recycling (which I do) or how everyone hurting the environment with our farts.



next time she asks for sex, ask her if she's into rubbers. Or is that not "enviromental friendly" enough for her?

[Cure4commoncold]

next time she asks for sex, ask her if she's into rubbers. Or is that not "enviromental friendly" enough for her?

I saw her taking birth control once. My friend said I shouldn't hit it because her cheeks are too chubby. He calls her Chip N' Dale lawl. Whatever happened to Hit it and Quit it....:-(

[Fallinto_rhythm]

I saw her taking birth control once. My friend said I shouldn't hit it because her cheeks are too chubby. He calls her Chip N' Dale lawl. Whatever happened to Hit it and Quit it....:-(


What? Her cheeks are to chubby? Because that's a legit reason.

[Cure4commoncold]

The face is a big portion of sex if you're into missionary I guess. Since this girl is a virgin I don't think she's gunna be taking it from the back or spoon with one leg up in the air on her first time. This is what happens when Summer hits....and all the sorority girls go home. *sigh*

[Fallinto_rhythm]

The face is a big portion of sex if you're into missionary I guess. Since this girl is a virgin I don't think she's gunna be taking it from the back or spoon with one leg up in the air on her first time. This is what happens when Summer hits....and all the sorority girls go home. *sigh*

Wow, well maybe you shouldn't be having sex with a virgin. They could be clingy, but then again I don't know this girl.

[Cure4commoncold]

Wow, well maybe you shouldn't be having sex with a virgin. They could be clingy, but then again I don't know this girl.

Yeah, she seems like she would be the clingy type. I'm not going to be the first one to poke her that's for sure now.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

Yeah, she seems like she would be the clingy type. I'm not going to be the first one to poke her that's for sure now.


ehhh, then nay. Don't screw her. I'm sure you'll find another girl to have some fun with.

[Cure4commoncold]

Yeah, I just gotta find one that smokes.

Remember if she smokes, she pokes.

[thespearkid]

I hope all this advice halps.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

Yeah, I just gotta find one that smokes.


Why's that?

[saysmydoctor]

You have to reverse the situation.

Fuck her while you're drunk, and she's sleeping.
/thread
i am diabetic, and officially offended. not a topic to joke about
You've got a manageable disease, my god, you've got it bad. I bet you those cancer patients are just pussies.

[Cure4commoncold]

/thread

You've got a manageable disease, my god, you've got it bad. I bet you those cancer patients are just pussies.

ITT: Diabetics unite to be offended because they have one of the most manageable diseases out there.

[argg_xo]

she sounds like a bitch that just wants to fuck with your head and nothing else. get over it and find someone else that's not nocturnal.

[andrew4045]

/thread

You've got a manageable disease, my god, you've got it bad. I bet you those cancer patients are just pussies.

I have diabetes, yet am okay with it, and therefore have the right to be critical to the o.p. in a joking/sarcastic manner. I was not complaining, yet have i ever complained about having diabetes. Yet you then feel the need to lash out at my post, and will probably come back at this one to tell me all about stereotypical Wilford Brimley type II diabetes, which isn't even close to the type I diabetes i have (because i, along with everyone else, know you are an expert) I am sickened by your post bringing cancer into the equation. You don't even know what it is like to have diabetes (like I do), let alone cancer (either do I, but still). So get over yourself you ignorant fuck.

[Cure4commoncold]

Type 1 diabetes mellitus is characterized by loss of the insulin-producing beta cells of the islets of Langerhans in the pancreas, leading to a deficiency of insulin. The main cause of this beta cell loss is a T-cell mediated autoimmune attack.[4] There is no known preventive measure which can be taken against type 1 diabetes; it is about 10% of diabetes mellitus cases in North America and Europe (though this varies by geographical location), and is a higher percentage in some other areas. Most affected people are otherwise healthy and of a healthy weight when onset occurs. Sensitivity and responsiveness to insulin are usually normal, especially in the early stages. Type 1 diabetes can affect children or adults but was traditionally termed "juvenile diabetes" because it represents a majority of the diabetes cases in children.
The principal treatment of type 1 diabetes, even from its earliest stages, is replacement of insulin combined with careful monitoring of blood glucose levels using blood testing monitors. Without insulin, diabetic ketoacidosis often develops which may result in coma or death. Treatment emphasis is now also placed on lifestyle adjustments (diet and exercise) though these cannot reverse the progress of the disease. Apart from the common subcutaneous injections, it is also possible to deliver insulin by a pump, which allows continuous infusion of insulin 24 hours a day at preset levels, and the ability to program doses (a bolus) of insulin as needed at meal times. An inhaled form of insulin, Exubera, was approved by the FDA in January 2006, although Pfizer discontinued the product for business reasons in October 2007. [8]
Type 1 treatment must be continued indefinitely in essentially all cases. Treatment need not significantly impair normal activities, if sufficient patient training, awareness, appropriate care, discipline in testing and dosing of insulin is taken. However, treatment is burdensome for patients, insulin is replaced in a non-physiological manner, and this approach is therefore far from ideal. The average glucose level for the type 1 patient should be as close to normal (80–120 mg/dl, 4–6 mmol/l) as is safely possible. Some physicians suggest up to 140–150 mg/dl (7-7.5 mmol/l) for those having trouble with lower values, such as frequent hypoglycemic events. Values above 200 mg/dl (10 mmol/l) is sometimes accompanied by discomfort and frequent urination leading to dehydration. Values above 300 mg/dl (15 mmol/l) usually require medical treatment and may lead to ketoacidosis, although they are not immediately life-threatening. However, low levels of blood glucose, called hypoglycemia, may lead to seizures or episodes of unconsciousness and absolutely must be treated immediately.


I know exactly what it's like to have type 1 one of my closest friends has it. He read your post and said you're a whiny little bitch and you need to stop using your disease as a means for a pity party or to be offended for no reason. The only person that needs to get over themselves is you, and the only person that's an ignorant fuck is you. Right now, I'm hoping you end up in the woods with no insulin. You have no right to be offended and you have no right now to shit on people in my thread. Manage your disease and shut the fuck up and stop using it as a means to be a dick.

[pilot_light_out]

gay

[thesafeword]

I have diabetes, yet am okay with it, and therefore have the right to be critical to the o.p. in a joking/sarcastic manner. I was not complaining, yet have i ever complained about having diabetes. Yet you then feel the need to lash out at my post, and will probably come back at this one to tell me all about stereotypical Wilford Brimley type II diabetes, which isn't even close to the type I diabetes i have (because i, along with everyone else, know you are an expert) I am sickened by your post bringing cancer into the equation. You don't even know what it is like to have diabetes (like I do), let alone cancer (either do I, but still). So get over yourself you ignorant fuck.
Did he hurt you on the insides?

[remedyeli]

she sounds like a bitch that just wants to fuck with your head and nothing else. get over it and find someone else that's not nocturnal.

I agree 100%
alot of those are deff out there.

[NickLopez]

This is so sad

[Smash Adams]

This girl keeps texting me when she's drunk to come fuck her. Everytime she does though I'm asleep. Then when she's sober she's all like "I'm afraid because I'm a virgin I'll bleedz all over you." It seems like the only way I'm gunna get to rail this chick is if I don't fucking sleep EVER again or if I create some sort of device that's let me know when she's getting drunk. Any other ideas?
implant a gps tracker in her brain, when she goes near alcohol have it sound an alarm in your house which wakes you up

[thesafeword]

What's halp mean?

[HelpMeSleep]

I bet she isn't a virgin.
For one, no one I know bled when their vag got busted.
But thats just me.

Get her drunk, she'll never know you stick your peepee in.
not true, i did unfortunately. a lot of girls do.

PCP would make her want to fucking kill me not bang me.
Yeah I think she's just a drunk text slut. Judging from the "I need your cum like diabetics need insulin." text I got the other night. :-(
yeahh, i'm thinking they meant GHB not PCP. and as for the second part, i sent my ex a lot of really horny texts when we were together and i'm seriously really glad i never said anything like that one lol.

[HelpMeSleep]

implant a gps tracker in her brain, when she goes near alcohol have it sound an alarm in your house which wakes you up
haha nice. i like that one.

[bobby runs]

anal

and pics or it didnt happen

[thespearkid]

I bet she isn't a virgin.
For one, no one I know bled when their vag got busted.
But thats just me.

Cause they all fucked guys with small dicks. Tell them to call me.

[CrenshawPunch]

I have diabetes, yet am okay with it, and therefore have the right to be critical to the o.p. in a joking/sarcastic manner. I was not complaining, yet have i ever complained about having diabetes. Yet you then feel the need to lash out at my post, and will probably come back at this one to tell me all about stereotypical Wilford Brimley type II diabetes, which isn't even close to the type I diabetes i have (because i, along with everyone else, know you are an expert) I am sickened by your post bringing cancer into the equation. You don't even know what it is like to have diabetes (like I do), let alone cancer (either do I, but still). So get over yourself you ignorant fuck.


http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y258/wobblie/wahmbulance.jpg

[Praetor]

I have diabetes, yet am okay with it, and therefore have the right to be critical to the o.p. in a joking/sarcastic manner. I was not complaining, yet have i ever complained about having diabetes. Yet you then feel the need to lash out at my post, and will probably come back at this one to tell me all about stereotypical Wilford Brimley type II diabetes, which isn't even close to the type I diabetes i have (because i, along with everyone else, know you are an expert) I am sickened by your post bringing cancer into the equation. You don't even know what it is like to have diabetes (like I do), let alone cancer (either do I, but still). So get over yourself you ignorant fuck.
Either grow a pair or quit the internet.

[Burning Star IV]

Bahahaha.

[MyNameIsRoss]

You have to reverse the situation.

Fuck her while you're drunk, and she's sleeping.

Outside-the-box!

[The_kok]

fuck her and bury her alive

[saysmydoctor]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y258/wobblie/wahmbulance.jpg
Amazing.