No Name

[-Pinkerton-]

Don't tip that hat, boy
Cause Its not on the right way.
Put out that light while you dream
Dream about your life gone to waste

While I grow fond of them
You think less of me
Too bad concern isnt an issue,
When 3AM comes around and along with a sheet

Sorry I dont listen to rap
Sorry i can still think
Sorry I wasn't a shun
sorry I want to be someone,
In the end


Just a little poem by me, any feedback is much appreciated

[chaosB4storm]

I think you have a good idea here but I do think the second stanza lacks flow. The attitude of this poem is not something that I find interesting, although I think you do a decent job of conveying it. I also find it weird how abstract the second verse is and how blatantly obvious the last one is. Just a thought.

[thespearkid]

The flow is kinda weird in parts (the second stanza, for example). Also, in the third paragraph, you seem to equate listening to rap music with not thinking and not wanting to be someone. It makes you seem close-minded and elitist.