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Justin_stacy
05/27/04, 01:16 PM
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked St. Peter, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." replied St. Peter

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man.

"Kerry's clock is in God's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

hXc_pwnage
05/27/04, 01:19 PM
Hahaha, funny.

Justin_stacy
05/27/04, 01:25 PM
Hahaha, funny.

thank you...now post your own.....we need a thread on here with some good laughs...

venus/bacchus
05/27/04, 02:58 PM
that's pretty good...I don't know too many, but this one's sort of old and just popped in my head

George W. Bush was on a boat on a nice summer day when he looks across the water to see two people drowning. Quickly, he jumps out of the boat and proceeds to walk across the water, grab the two people, and bring them back to his boat. The next day in the papers the headline reads "Bush can't swim".

Sinister Rouge
05/27/04, 04:09 PM
Bush falls of his bike, the White House says its been raining alot and the top soil is loose, a website gets all the rainfall data for Crawford, it hadn't rained for 8 days.

Oh wait, thats not a joke......

ohlookitspaul
05/27/04, 06:31 PM
Bush falls of his bike, the White House says its been raining alot and the top soil is loose, a website gets all the rainfall data for Crawford, it hadn't rained for 8 days.

Oh wait, thats not a joke......
bahahaha

worldstheory
05/27/04, 08:39 PM
A man walks into a bar, and to his surprise he discovers President Bush and Vice-President Cheney sitting at the bar, deep in discussion. He walks over and takes a seat next to them and inquires what they are talking about. President Bush replies, "We're planning a military strike against Iraq. We're going to kill millions of Iraqis and one beautiful blonde." The man says, "Wait a minute... why are you going to kill a beautiful blonde?" Instantly Bush turns back to Cheney and says, "See! I told you no one cares about millions of Iraqis!"