I was not expecting this at all...

[Chris Reynolds]

So I have this friend, and she's been my friend for a few years. Last year, however, she moved across the country (NE US) and we've been talking occasionally on myspace/facebook/texting. Well yesterday she comes out and says she's thought I was attractive since she met me, but last year before she left she decided she wanted my dick. She tells me this NOW, a year after moving 3000 miles away. Should I be upset, indifferent, or excited for her to make a trip back (if ever)?

[kwsqd]

go suns!

[Chris Reynolds]

fuck the suns, go sixers

[Giant Broccoli]

Suns>sixers
Elton Brands a traitor

[Chris Reynolds]

The Clippers handed their situation with Brand very unprofessionally, its their fault they lost him to us

[drewziph]

So I have this friend, and she's been my friend for a few years. Last year, however, she moved across the country (NE US) and we've been talking occasionally on myspace/facebook/texting. Well yesterday she comes out and says she's thought I was attractive since she met me, but last year before she left she decided she wanted my dick. She tells me this NOW, a year after moving 3000 miles away. Should I be upset, indifferent, or excited for her to make a trip back (if ever)?
Road trip!!

[J Me]

this got off the subject quickly

[Chris Reynolds]

Road trip!!

I wouldn't even do that if she was a 10. And this girl is probably a 7.5ish

[drewziph]

meh. get her to prove she likes u on webcam!

maybe she just hasn't been getting too lucky in this new place.

[daniel.e]

She told you she wanted your dick? Literally? Haha. You got yourself a keeper.

[Chris Reynolds]

She told you she wanted your dick? Literally? Haha. You got yourself a keeper.

Well its kinda awkward. I was with some friends just chilling and smoking when she started texting me, and we all kinda messed with her a bit, coming up with things to say.

Basically, I did my best to get her aroused, sending her flirty/sexy messages and the like. She tells me that she was really horny then I said "haha nice" and I thought she went to bed or something because it took 20 minutes to get this text in return:

"when i come back to az id start by licking ur balls from the very bottom and sliding my warm wet tongue up ur long dick to the tip and start to suck on the head. then id shove the whole thing in my mouth taking it deep and sliding it out all wet, then id work it in and out of my mouth each time goin faster and faster then the time before. then id right after i came id climb off and taste my pussy juice on ur dick and take it deep again and again. then ill take it out and rub ur head around my mouth and get u off with my hand all over my tits. and as u cum on my tit ill wipe it off my nipples withe ur dick and take it deep in my mouth"

[Chris Reynolds]

And she's one of those Christian/prude girls. The one that has "I love Jesus" as her myspace headline and her facebook status.

[spansen]

indifferent, ftw!.. just take it as a compliment.

[kwsqd]

brand fucked davis over

[SLoT]

Well its kinda awkward. I was with some friends just chilling and smoking when she started texting me, and we all kinda messed with her a bit, coming up with things to say.

Basically, I did my best to get her aroused, sending her flirty/sexy messages and the like. She tells me that she was really horny then I said "haha nice" and I thought she went to bed or something because it took 20 minutes to get this text in return:

"when i come back to az id start by licking ur balls from the very bottom and sliding my warm wet tongue up ur long dick to the tip and start to suck on the head. then id shove the whole thing in my mouth taking it deep and sliding it out all wet, then id work it in and out of my mouth each time goin faster and faster then the time before. then id right after i came id climb off and taste my pussy juice on ur dick and take it deep again and again. then ill take it out and rub ur head around my mouth and get u off with my hand all over my tits. and as u cum on my tit ill wipe it off my nipples withe ur dick and take it deep in my mouth"
you should send her a text telling her that youve already done that with a girl after she left... so unless she can come up with something better anal then she might as well forget about you ever getting together.

[Chris Reynolds]

you should send her a text telling her that youve already done that with a girl after she left... so unless she can come up with something better anal then she might as well forget about you ever getting together.

she has told me she's down for anal

[SLoT]

she has told me she's down for anal
Propose to her tomorrow. In person. Make it happen.

[Chris Reynolds]

Haha. I would post pics that she sent me, but personal privacy is a concern

[percussionguita]

^ There's a different type of thread in PL for that.

[Chris Reynolds]

^ There's a different type of thread in PL for that.

She's not an ex

[James_Brand]

My friend moved from NJ to Las Vegas. That is across the country.

Back to the problem: Don't wait for her to come back, entice her to come back. Tell her you're having a big party for your birthday and some bands are going to play. When she gets to your house, it turns out the "big party" is you and her. The bands are playing on your stereo. This way, you are not a liar. Remember, nobody likes a liar.

[Chris Reynolds]

She just texted me that she's fingered herself to my writings (I fancy myself somewhat of a poet) many a time. This keeps getting stranger.

[failingwithease]

She just texted me that she's fingered herself to my writings (I fancy myself somewhat of a poet) many a time. This keeps getting stranger.

And by stranger, you mean, you love it?

[Chris Reynolds]

And by stranger, you mean, you love it?

I don't know about loving it, but it isn't like I'm weirded out by it. I just don't know what to think.

[Giant Broccoli]

The Clippers handed their situation with Brand very unprofessionally, its their fault they lost him to us


Brand was unprofessional if anyone, he asked the clips to go out and get baron....they did that and he bolted.

[pilot_light_out]

expect the unexpected.

[Angylion Gefell]

MY DEAR SIR,

It is long that we have waited for an offer of this caliber to reach one of our members. What we propose in return is a simple four step plan:

1. Get off your computer.
2. Pack an overnight back.
3. Drive straight there. Eating and sleeping is not important.
4. Fuck her brains out.

We regret that we will have to kill you if this is not fulfilled.
Sincerely,
AbsolutePunk.net

[estrella starr]

wrong number?

[bassdrummer2333]

I started laughing as soon as i saw the "my dear sir"

[Neo Cassady]

MY DEAR SIR,

It is long that we have waited for an offer of this caliber to reach one of our members. What we propose in return is a simple four step plan:

1. Get off your computer.
2. Pack an overnight back.
3. Drive straight there. Eating and sleeping is not important.
4. Fuck her brains out.

We regret that we will have to kill you if this is not fulfilled.Sincerely,
AbsolutePunk.net


I'll add my signature to that letter.

[Smash Adams]

and I'm sure you weren't expecting this either
http://www.engagements.ca/images/riverscuomo.jpg

[PaulsRightNut]

thats funny. I have a best friend that I've been hanging out with this summer and he's always (for the past few years) been obsessed with showing me his wang..yes I said "wang"

Its like whenever I end up at his place for the night he gets compelled to whip it out when I'm not watching and the next thing I know I got a weiner in front of my face.

We've been friends for years now, and we both know that there are no feelings involved with each other...yet according to him I'm the only friend he likes to do this with. how odd.

so in conclusion I think you should just whip it out next time you see her and see what she does...I mean what have you got to loose?

[Neo Cassady]

thats funny. I have a best friend that I've been hanging out with this summer and he's always (for the past few years) been obsessed with showing me his wang..yes I said "wang"

Its like whenever I end up at his place for the night he gets compelled to whip it out when I'm not watching and the next thing I know I got a weiner in front of my face.

We've been friends for years now, and we both know that there are no feelings involved with each other...yet according to him I'm the only friend he likes to do this with. how odd.

so in conclusion I think you should just whip it out next time you see her and see what she does...I mean what have you got to loose?

potentially, his wang

[PaulsRightNut]

potentially, his wang

haha well I suppose so...but from his description I doubt she would do anything crazy

[bobby runs]

Haha. I would post pics that she sent me, but personal privacy is a concern
There has to be some not so risque pics......

[thesafeword]

This is a golden oppurtunity for n00dz. Make her your girlfreind for a day and then head on over to the post your ex's n00dz thread.

[jagermeister]

You're 22 and this is how your mind works?

Fuck this girl as much as you want; just do the world a favour - don't reproduce.

[hellogorgeous]

honestly she was probably just fucking with you, girls do this all the time

[Kassie09]

honestly she was probably just fucking with you, girls do this all the time
It took until the last post for this to be said, but way to go!
Seriously, I don't think any girl who is being serious would send a serious text message like that, maybe I'm wrong/not a fucking weirdo like that girl but wtf.

[DannySniper]

honestly she was probably just fucking with you, girls do this all the time

Yeah, her and her friends were most likely doing the exact same thing you and your mates were. Sitting around smoking while thinking of saucy messages to send.

[&IllBeTheReason]

From my experience, girls that do that kinda stuff aren't all there. Run the other way, man. Fast

[DannySniper]

From my experience, girls that do that kinda stuff aren't all there. Run the other way, man. Fast

This.

[tambam]

Well its kinda awkward. I was with some friends just chilling and smoking when she started texting me, and we all kinda messed with her a bit, coming up with things to say.

Basically, I did my best to get her aroused, sending her flirty/sexy messages and the like. She tells me that she was really horny then I said "haha nice" and I thought she went to bed or something because it took 20 minutes to get this text in return:

"when i come back to az id start by licking ur balls from the very bottom and sliding my warm wet tongue up ur long dick to the tip and start to suck on the head. then id shove the whole thing in my mouth taking it deep and sliding it out all wet, then id work it in and out of my mouth each time goin faster and faster then the time before. then id right after i came id climb off and taste my pussy juice on ur dick and take it deep again and again. then ill take it out and rub ur head around my mouth and get u off with my hand all over my tits. and as u cum on my tit ill wipe it off my nipples withe ur dick and take it deep in my mouth"

Classy.

[lightcollapse]

Well its kinda awkward. I was with some friends just chilling and smoking when she started texting me, and we all kinda messed with her a bit, coming up with things to say.

Basically, I did my best to get her aroused, sending her flirty/sexy messages and the like. She tells me that she was really horny then I said "haha nice" and I thought she went to bed or something because it took 20 minutes to get this text in return:

"when i come back to az id start by licking ur balls from the very bottom and sliding my warm wet tongue up ur long dick to the tip and start to suck on the head. then id shove the whole thing in my mouth taking it deep and sliding it out all wet, then id work it in and out of my mouth each time goin faster and faster then the time before. then id right after i came id climb off and taste my pussy juice on ur dick and take it deep again and again. then ill take it out and rub ur head around my mouth and get u off with my hand all over my tits. and as u cum on my tit ill wipe it off my nipples withe ur dick and take it deep in my mouth"

liar, that's over 160 characters.

[lightcollapse]

Classy.

hahahaha

[Roboman]

honestly she was probably just fucking with you, girls do this all the time

Disgusting. I'm not saying guys can't/don't do the same, but honestly...that's just despicable.

[DannySniper]

Disgusting. I'm not saying guys can't/don't do the same, but honestly...that's just despicable.

But true. And they'll hold it against you. It was the main form of High-School blackmail in my education.

[njg418]

I think this just shows that she is either shy, or really immature and juvenile. you decide if it's worth it or not, but most likely, you wont get anything from her.

[DannySniper]

I think this just shows that she is either shy, or really immature and juvenile. you decide if it's worth it or not, but most likely, you wont get anything from her.

Except hot messages.

[Mirrorsandfevers]

This thread brings the lol

[Mirrorsandfevers]

Yes, singular lol.

[Kassie09]

Yes, it is only worth one laugh out loud, not multiples.

[billyboatkid]

So I have this friend, and she's been my friend for a few years. Last year, however, she moved across the country (NE US) and we've been talking occasionally on myspace/facebook/texting. Well yesterday she comes out and says she's thought I was attractive since she met me, but last year before she left she decided she wanted my dick. She tells me this NOW, a year after moving 3000 miles away. Should I be upset, indifferent, or excited for her to make a trip back (if ever)?

if I had a dollar for every time that shit happened to me...

[Mirrorsandfevers]

if I had a dollar for every time that shit happened to me...
1.50?

[Chris Fallon]

Seems like a pretty juvenile move on her part. That's such a dumb girl thing to do, and really, if she's gonna be coy and tease you like that... seems pretty unfair to you. If she honestly had to wait until she moved to tell you, it's a self-esteem thing and she needs to get past that.

[billyboatkid]

1.50?

Close, but no cigar my jazzy friend.

[cscwell107]

I like the way off topic Elton Bran conversation going on in the beginning of the thread

[hellogorgeous]

Disgusting. I'm not saying guys can't/don't do the same, but honestly...that's just despicable.


Hey it's not our fault you're so easy to fuck with.

[TK]

Never trust anything that bleeds for...

[Roboman]

Hey it's not our fault you're so easy to fuck with.

Right, because that makes it okay to do?

[eHaMpToN]

analanalanalanalanalanalanalanalana lanalanal

[hellogorgeous]

Right, because that makes it okay to do?


If boys can lie to girls about shit like "oh you're so pretty" and "i like you" to get us into bed, how is this any different?

[smithariko]

sounds like something i would send.

[HelpMeSleep]

If boys can lie to girls about shit like "oh you're so pretty" and "i like you" to get us into bed, how is this any different?
:nod:

[TK]

If we didn't tell you that, what would you do?

[andrew4045]

kobe you can kiss my ass

[HelpMeSleep]

If we didn't tell you that, what would you do?
Well, you could at least mean it when you say it...

[Roboman]

If boys can lie to girls about shit like "oh you're so pretty" and "i like you" to get us into bed, how is this any different?

Meh, I would never do something like that, so I guess both sides show extremely shitty character.

[TK]

Well, you could at least mean it when you say it...

It might sound shallow, but I for one have only wanted attractive girls in my bed. I'm sure that goes for most guys, so when I do say it, I mean it. Why would I want to have a fat ugly girl in my bed when I could have a pretty one? Again, shallow and a bit of an asshole response, but truth.

[Cure4commoncold]

If boys can lie to girls about shit like "oh you're so pretty" and "i like you" to get us into bed, how is this any different?

If you're doing it in retaliation at least pick the asshole guys to do it to then.

[hellogorgeous]

Meh, I would never do something like that, so I guess both sides show extremely shitty character.
If you're doing it in retaliation at least pick the asshole guys to do it to then.

He admitted to doing the EXACT SAME THING to her! He said that he was with his friends doing his best to say shit like that to her, and all I'm pointing out is, she probably had friends over doing the exact same thing to them.

As for most of the dudes on this website you guys need to grow a fucking pair and stop letting girls run your lives and get to you because you all look like a bunch of fucking pussies when you post threads on here complaining about us. Both sexes play games with each other , sure it might be immature but it happens millions of times everyday so quit whining about it.

[4N6 science]

He admitted to doing the EXACT SAME THING to her! He said that he was with his friends doing his best to say shit like that to her, and all I'm pointing out is, she probably had friends over doing the exact same thing to them.

As for most of the dudes on this website you guys need to grow a fucking pair and stop letting girls run your lives and get to you because you all look like a bunch of fucking pussies when you post threads on here complaining about us. Both sexes play games with each other , sure it might be immature but it happens millions of times everyday so quit whining about it.

well said Jen.. I still havent heard about your shitshow.

[Cure4commoncold]

As for most of the dudes on this website you guys need to grow a fucking pair and stop letting girls run your lives and get to you because you all look like a bunch of fucking pussies when you post threads on here complaining about us. Both sexes play games with each other , sure it might be immature but it happens millions of times everyday so quit whining about it.

Repeat that, because all I heard when I read your post was, "I'm a heartless cunt!"

[failingwithease]

Repeat that, because all I heard when I read your post was, "I'm a heartless cunt!"

Hahahaha.

[hellogorgeous]

Repeat that, because all I heard when I read your post was, "I'm a heartless cunt!"


Yeah sorry I don't let douchebags run my life

[hellogorgeous]

well said Jen.. I still havent heard about your shitshow.


to be honest right now I don't really remember but I partied a lot with people from my work. I want to post pics but ithe program isn't setup on my new laptop.

[4N6 science]

to be honest right now I don't really remember but I partied a lot with people from my work. I want to post pics but ithe program isn't setup on my new laptop.

gotcha.. thats always a good weekend when you can't remember shit and all you have are some pictures left.

[hellogorgeous]

gotcha.. thats always a good weekend when you can't remember shit and all you have are some pictures left.


Well I know I remember, it's just I worked friday and doubles both sat and sun, and since it's tax-free weekend it's been pretty intense. When I come to I'll holla

[4N6 science]

Well I know I remember, it's just I worked friday and doubles both sat and sun, and since it's tax-free weekend it's been pretty intense. When I come to I'll holla

oh ok good I want to hear this story. I got a gross thing to mention about my friday night. so holla when you get a hot second.

[HelpMeSleep]

It might sound shallow, but I for one have only wanted attractive girls in my bed. I'm sure that goes for most guys, so when I do say it, I mean it. Why would I want to have a fat ugly girl in my bed when I could have a pretty one? Again, shallow and a bit of an asshole response, but truth.
No, I believe you. My ex used to say that to me all the time when I'd be insecure. He'd tell me that if I wasn't pretty and if he wasn't attracted to me, he wouldn't be with me lol. I was more referring to telling girls you love them to get laid.

[Cure4commoncold]

No, I believe you. My ex used to say that to me all the time when I'd be insecure. He'd tell me that if I wasn't pretty and if he wasn't attracted to me, he wouldn't be with me lol. I was more referring to telling girls you love them to get laid.

Those girls need to realize saying it doesn't mean a thing.

"Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words."

It's wrong in the first place for a guy to attempt to do something like that to get a girl into bed. If more girls looked at action and really read into the guy I think they'd realize when something like that is going on. It's sad that guys though and I can safely say I'd never even think about doing it and that they are a lot of other guys who feel the same way as I do.

[eHaMpToN]

big ol' jet airliner
dont carry me too far away

[HelpMeSleep]

Those girls need to realize saying it doesn't mean a thing.
True. But it's wrong to say it when you don't mean it. I could never do it. I can't be insincere like that.

[TK]

No, I believe you. My ex used to say that to me all the time when I'd be insecure. He'd tell me that if I wasn't pretty and if he wasn't attracted to me, he wouldn't be with me lol. I was more referring to telling girls you love them to get laid.

Oh, I guess I can't relate then. I've never told a girl I love her unless you count saying it to someone you're not dating in a joking manner.

[HelpMeSleep]

Oh, I guess I can't relate then. I've never told a girl I love her unless you count saying it to someone you're not dating in a joking manner.
Yeah I dunno... I've only had one guy tell me he loved me and he did mean it. But a lot of guys do it and they shouldn't.

[TK]

Yeah I dunno... I've only had one guy tell me he loved me and he did mean it. But a lot of guys do it and they shouldn't.

Well, I'm not sure if it's the guys fault. I know plenty of girls who do it as well. I think society has just taken the word and made it completely meaningless. There really is no meaning behind the words "love you" anymore.