To make you hate me.

[The-Phantom]

This is one of my favorite songs i've written. I hope you guys enjoy it.


To make you hate me.

I wasn't able to do... what you wanted me to.
I did things behind your back, and I betrayed you!
And it burns in my mind that even thought that your gone that...
You still love me to.

Oh, what's it gonna take to make you hate me?
The way your heart will never change... It's driving me crazy!
And I just can't take it anymore..
Cause i'll admit it, without you my hearts still sore!

All the things I did to you, they were so unfair!
But you keep loving me... as if you don't care!
And you still think that we were meant to be!
And now my guilt... Is getting to me!

Oh, what's it gonna take, to make you hate me?
The way your heart will never change... It's driving me crazy!
And I just can't take it anymore...
Cause i'll admit it, without you my hearts still sore!

I hope you want for me to die and burn in Hell!
I hope your gland that things didn't go so well!
I hope your gland that you've taken my life!
But you don't, no you don't, no you don't, no... You don't wanna fight!

OH, what's it gonna take... To make you hate me?
The way your heart will never change... IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!
And I just can't take it anymore!
Cause i'll admit it, without you my hearts still sore!
Oh... Why won't you hate me?


This was actually one of the first songs I wrote.
Meant to be played with Piano, electric guitar and drums. The first part of the last chorus is to be sung with an entire room of people, not just one person.
The rythym is alot different then most people would probably think of it as being.
And no, it doesn't sound emo when played and sung.
:]
Comment please.

[thespearkid]

I wasn't able to do... what you wanted me to.
I did things behind your back, and I betrayed you!
And it burns in my mind that even thought that your gone that...
You still love me to.
(The flow in the first two lines is kind of awkward and the last two lines don't seem to make any sense).

Oh, what's it gonna take to make you hate me?
The way your heart will never change... It's driving me crazy!
And I just can't take it anymore..
Cause i'll admit it, without you my hearts still sore!
(Try to avoid cliches like "driving me crazy" and "can't take it anymore").


All the things I did to you, they were so unfair!
But you keep loving me... as if you don't care!
And you still think that we were meant to be!
And now my guilt... Is getting to me!
(Again with awkward flow and cliches).

I hope you want for me to die and burn in Hell!
I hope your gland that things didn't go so well!
I hope your gland that you've taken my life!
But you don't, no you don't, no you don't, no... You don't wanna fight!
(I'm not sure what gland you're referring too. :shrug: Also, it comes off as over-the-top and silly).
Um, overall, try to avoid cliches. About three quarters of the song right now is made up of lines that have been used countless times by other songwriters. Try to come up with a different, unique way to phrase what you're trying to say.

[TK]

It's juvenile, simple as that. Spearkid was right about it being riddled with cliches, but everyone's writing is when you first start out.

"Try to come up with a different, unique way to phrase what you're trying to say."

And that's a good bit of advice right there.