PDA

View Full Version : "Mrs. Wilson Sees A Ghost" ((please comment))


ripmyheartout
09/13/04, 02:30 PM
"Mrs. Wilson Sees A Ghost"

You looked so beautiful in your white dress
As you were walking down the aisle
Standing at the alter
And the whole time I felt like I was on trial
(Don't slip, don't speak)
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."
(That girl belongs to me)

{Chorus}
I'll make you relive what you regret
And I'll make sure you never can forget
(Don't you remember?)
(It was only last November)

It has been ten years since this horrible tragedy began
And I still awaken in tears, hoping it's all been a bad dream
But, as you know, stale depression becomes insanity
Remember when those were my pictures lining your vanity mirror?
Remember all those webs of lies you told for fun?
(You're so easy to entertain...)
Be careful what you do to someone willing
To pull the trigger of a gun

The barrel holds one bullet, intended for the one
I hate the most, but my greatest fear is that
You will be haunted by the ghost, because even he knows
How afraid you are of ghosts

{Chorus}

It was 3 AM when I pulled into the parking lot
Of the motel (the very same motel) I saw him at the week before
Talking dirty to the pretty girl from the office, it was a week before you wed
He left you at home, asleep in bed (You two deserve each other)

I stayed in room two hundred thirty two
Where the only thing that kept the real world
From mine
Was a door, a lock, and a 'do not disturb' sign
I hold a note in a red envelope, simply addressed 'to mine'
I would be holding your picture if I was not so afraid of your face
So I call for alcohol, trying for a kind of mental erase
But why bother with things like alcohol
When you can put a bullet in your brain?
(Bang, bang, everything is better now)

{Chorus}

When you receive the news, you tell him that you're scared
But his words of sympathy to you are "I don't fucking care."
The man on the phone tells you of the red envelope
That they found lying on the floor
(And you know exactly who it's for)

{Chorus}

(The paremedics come to take me away)
(Because I have no place to stay)
My funeral is held within the next seven days
Sadly (yet unsurprisingly) you are the only one that came
You stand above my grave, it's raining and you're crying
(For my death, or for my love?)
The two of you will divorce in just a few years
But you don't know that yet
(Or do you?)
All you want is to forget
Sometimes we don't always get what we want, do we,
Mrs. Wilson?
(What a horrible name)

_kissimmee_
09/13/04, 04:37 PM
I really liked your lyrics.They're well written and I liked reading them a lot.Good job.

fakedasmile
09/13/04, 06:11 PM
sweet and very descriptive, I like

popdisaster00
09/14/04, 07:26 AM
very good. but long

Hilikus
09/14/04, 05:14 PM
very awsome! very long!

really how many minutes does the song run?

ripmyheartout
09/15/04, 01:54 PM
yeah i know.. its reallllllyyy long.. i havent written much of the music yet, so i dont know. i know it will be atleast like 8 minutes, probably. and it doesnt help that its like an acoustic slow song too.. yeah that one would definately be towards the end of the album... :)

p.s.

im taking some of the chorus breaks out too.. thats a lot of repeating those four lines.. lol

para ser libre
09/15/04, 03:29 PM
This song can easily be explained in terms of current economic conditions...

The start of your song was the national debt before bush got into office(non-exitent), and the end of your song is like after the first 2 terms bushed served(total downfall and destruction of all good things to coe with no hope for recovery)...ok maybe not that drastic but...

as you can tell you start off good and powerful, but slowly slack off with FEW spikes in the middle...I would just like to see the use of strong meaning and force behind the words travel throughout teh song and not suddenly stop...sometime you slipped into ab rhyming, but for the most part i think you also just repeated the same thing adn almost to the point of being TOO descriptive

ripmyheartout
09/15/04, 05:20 PM
This song can easily be explained in terms of current economic conditions...

The start of your song was the national debt before bush got into office(non-exitent), and the end of your song is like after the first 2 terms bushed served(total downfall and destruction of all good things to coe with no hope for recovery)...ok maybe not that drastic but...

as you can tell you start off good and powerful, but slowly slack off with FEW spikes in the middle...I would just like to see the use of strong meaning and force behind the words travel throughout teh song and not suddenly stop...sometime you slipped into ab rhyming, but for the most part i think you also just repeated the same thing adn almost to the point of being TOO descriptive

...er sorry? lol.. i may try to shorten it but it may be hard for me

ripmyheartout
09/29/04, 01:46 PM
bop bop

Anti-Bob
10/05/04, 02:55 PM
indeed

Carbanna
10/13/04, 05:52 PM
That was pretty awesome. I think that your rhyming scheme should have been more consistent but other than that it killed.

loser 101
10/13/04, 06:47 PM
very good. but long

yep, what i was going to say. written well

ForeversLastDay
10/15/04, 10:11 PM
I really really liked it. I know exactly how that is. Don't worry about the length. The only thing I didn't like was the choruses. The chorus is good, but I think you should maybe not repeat the chorus after every verse.

ripmyheartout
10/19/04, 03:28 PM
thanx guys, i was doubting its uh... kickass-ness until now lol so take out choruses and uh... uh.. *thinks*

saving face
10/21/04, 04:49 AM
i loved reading that song!! i love long songs, i dont always wanna listen a song that is about 10 lines long!

franki_jello
10/25/04, 01:52 PM
ive read it before muahaha. good job though paige! you sox the rocks! lolol

para ser libre
10/25/04, 08:23 PM
I LOVED the song....except for the one part (even he knows how afraid of ghosts you are)went from beautiful adn poetic to blah in that one part....besides that do only one thing...

TAKE OUT SOME CHORUSES....WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY to many of them...lol

ripmyheartout
10/25/04, 08:38 PM
I LOVED the song....except for the one part (even he knows how afraid of ghosts you are)went from beautiful adn poetic to blah in that one part....besides that do only one thing...

TAKE OUT SOME CHORUSES....WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY to many of them...lol

lol are you bipolar? last time you posted you compared it to the bush adminstration. haha... well thanks for what u said this time and i kno there are too many damn choruses lol

ripmyheartout
12/18/04, 07:42 PM
ive read it before muahaha. good job though paige! you sox the rocks! lolol

courtney u dumbass

updownleftright
12/21/04, 08:21 AM
I liked it too. but really long. You write kinda like me which is cool cause, I just like reading that way alot more. do you have other songs on here somewhere? Im going to post mine up right now.

ripmyheartout
12/23/04, 02:07 PM
I liked it too. but really long. You write kinda like me which is cool cause, I just like reading that way alot more. do you have other songs on here somewhere? Im going to post mine up right now.

yah, but they are long gone.. im going to repost them right now. :D

ripmyheartout
02/12/05, 09:44 PM
...