a poem i wrote

[phil19]

this is the most recent thing ive written. i dont have a title for it (i suck at titles)
just looking for some feedback
thanks =)

Im dying of embaressment of what i just did
You must think im a complete and utter idiot
And when i see your smile all my problems fade away
But so does my confidence and all words fail me
So on this crumpled piece of paper that you hold in your hands
I will spill my heart to you the only way i can
What i wouldnt give to hold you in my arms just once
To make you feel safe and secure so cherished and loved
And my only wish would be for you to notice me
To be more than just a shadow living in obscurity
To linger in your mind even long after i am gone
The way you remain in mine everytime i am alone

[thespearkid]

I'm trying to figure out if it's supposed to rhyme and be structured or if it's free verse. It kind of jumps back and forth.

[phil19]

its not free verse. i know that not all the words rhyme in the way that say, cat and hat do, but im not a big fan of that.

[matt_bergeron]

apoemyoushouldthrowaway.com

[phil19]

i like how you said that =)
thanks

[lew_1987]

You should keep writing, and try to find different ways of saying how you feel. And try and give us description of the way things are and how that relates to how you feel.