azuredreams
09/25/04, 07:42 PM
Had to get it off my brain...
Im 25 i've known HIM since I was 12.
I was all ways the one to follow my heart and trust that LOVE (if it was true) could fix all..
Boy howdy was I full of it...
I thought so much of the future with HIM that I dedicated my entire life to planning out a future that was US.
There is such a long story I wont even bother going into it all, lets just say he had a pretty shiny police record that deffinaly affected his driving ability for the last four years. and he basicly gave up on him self and gave up on me and us.
and now If i am to have any kind of decent future I am going to have to bust my ass.
Along time ago He stoped careing what I thought about him, Sure there was still love between us and even now there is, but emotionally Im alone, finnacally Im alone and now severly screwd. I have habits now that (without blaming him) I know I would have never started if not for him..
My heart aches for him every day. But this time I havent cryed. and I wont let my self cry. as much as I want to For my own sake I wont.
So 8 yrs I have been totally faithfull to this man. and the other night I broke that moral that says you have to be faithfull to the one you love.
I let a moral I had always protected slip becasue I was and still am ready for it to be over. the only hard part is what do you do with 8 years of building new relationships now just with him but with his family and friends.
Ill stop talking now . ( errrr I forgot I was suppost to be punk rock ) lol
Im 25 i've known HIM since I was 12.
I was all ways the one to follow my heart and trust that LOVE (if it was true) could fix all..
Boy howdy was I full of it...
I thought so much of the future with HIM that I dedicated my entire life to planning out a future that was US.
There is such a long story I wont even bother going into it all, lets just say he had a pretty shiny police record that deffinaly affected his driving ability for the last four years. and he basicly gave up on him self and gave up on me and us.
and now If i am to have any kind of decent future I am going to have to bust my ass.
Along time ago He stoped careing what I thought about him, Sure there was still love between us and even now there is, but emotionally Im alone, finnacally Im alone and now severly screwd. I have habits now that (without blaming him) I know I would have never started if not for him..
My heart aches for him every day. But this time I havent cryed. and I wont let my self cry. as much as I want to For my own sake I wont.
So 8 yrs I have been totally faithfull to this man. and the other night I broke that moral that says you have to be faithfull to the one you love.
I let a moral I had always protected slip becasue I was and still am ready for it to be over. the only hard part is what do you do with 8 years of building new relationships now just with him but with his family and friends.
Ill stop talking now . ( errrr I forgot I was suppost to be punk rock ) lol