Your so good at this

[freefall123]

these are not mine they're my friends. he asked to post them here to see what everyone thinks of them.


1st song


Im not wasting breath anymore
Your about to start
im about to stop
your about to scream
Is that fair to me?
You say its all my fault
you forget your faults
then you scream at me
then you scream at me

this is how its meant to be
this how its written down
tired of waiting cant you see
Ive wrapped around some one else
while your wrapped around your self!

Im asking for a rest anymore
cause once you start
you dont stop
you always scream
is that fair to me?
You say its all my fault
you forget your faults
then you scream at me
then you scream at me

this is how its meant to be
this how its written down
tired of waiting cant you see
Ive wrapped around some one else
while your wrapped around your self!

This is not how i wanted you to take my breath
this is not how you were supposed to be
Im suffocating, cannot scream
theres one word left in me
goodbye
this is how its meant to be
this how its written down
tired of waiting cant you see
Ive wrapped around some one else
while your wrapped around your self!







second song

She stands her solid ground
Her feet against my heart
steping on the unstable foundations
as she watches me fall apart
where can she lie down
where can I stand up
when can we
just walk away just walk away


I remember something sort of sweet
thhis was supposed to age like fine wine
its taste so sour here our darkest hour
Times leaving us behind
you always were a dreamer
She runs with energy she just found
she learned the art
Now Ive got to face it
As she aims my faults
when can we
just walk away just walk away
I remember something sort of sweet
thhis was supposed to age like fine wine
its taste so sour here our darkest hour
Times leaving us behind
your on its side

[lew_1987]

I figure these are yours, seeing as you have misspelt 'you're' every time, including in the title. Either that or you and your friend are both really bad at spelling and grammar.

[tait]

I figure these are yours, seeing as you have misspelt 'you're' every time, including in the title. Either that or you and your friend are both really bad at spelling and grammar.
haha

[freefall123]

I figure these are yours, seeing as you have misspelt 'you're' every time, including in the title. Either that or you and your friend are both really bad at spelling and grammar.

no they are not mine. i didn't type them either so he's bad at grammer and spelling. haha

[lew_1987]

You can tell your friend that it wasn't very good. Firstly, he needs to check his spelling and grammar. Then tell him he needs to find different ways of saying things. Describe a smell, a sight, a sound, a feeling, etc., don't just tell it exactly how it is.

[freefall123]

You can tell your friend that it wasn't very good. Firstly, he needs to check his spelling and grammar. Then tell him he needs to find different ways of saying things. Describe a smell, a sight, a sound, a feeling, etc., don't just tell it exactly how it is.

will do. thanks for your opinion.

[lfdfforever]

i like your avatar

[xidreamofyou32x]

I enjoyed these parts:

"She stands her solid ground
Her feet against my heart
stepping on the unstable foundations
as she watches me fall apart"

"I remember something sort of sweet
this was supposed to age like fine wine
its taste so sour here our darkest hour
Times leaving us behind"

[furey]

the 1st song keeps on repeating it's contents. the idea is solid but it's all over. improve on having deeper words. it always catches attention