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FarPastGone
10/04/04, 12:43 AM
So I only grace AP a little now a days. But I seriously am having the worst month/months/year of my life. I've always kind of looked down on posting your problems on the internet, fishing for encouragement of any kind, but I really have never felt like this in my life. Everyone I talk too has never been through something like this. My friends and family are all here for me, and being so supportive, but I don't think anyone of them truly understand what im going through. I just really need to know what to do cause my life is just getting worse by the day. My story is unnecesarily long, so if its too much I totally understand. Before my story.....I will let you get to know me:

Name: Matt
Age: 18 (as of 09/22/04)
Grade: I am a Senior in a class of 366 kids at Northwest High School.
Location: I live in North Texas, around Ft. Worth, my town is pretty suburbial, while my school is about 30 mins. away, in the country. (in the town of Justin, named after the famous boot company, cause thats where it is based).
About School: Im a pretty smart kid, I don't try at all, and I make 80s, I take all AP classes, and am in Student Council. I used to be in sports, but cause im such a slacker it just made me get worse grades, so my parents made me quit them.
Outside of School Life: Im far from being a socialoutcast, I can go from having a good night, hanging with all my boys on the football team, to hanging out at my friends house watching him and his tight pant wearing brotha's tear it up (http://www.purevolume.com/drivebyromance).
Morals/Norms: Im not really one for drinking or smoking, and have for the longest time been known as a guy who can put a smile on anyones face.

My story:
So I won't go into every detail about the beginning because that is unnecessary. But ever since high school began, I have been in love with the same girl. We have always been dubbed as that obnoxious high school couple that are going to get married. So for the last 2 1/2 years of my life I've been going out with the most perfect girl ever. We had a few problems in the beginning of the relationship (she took my virginity and had lied to me about some stuff; no I didn't end up with STD's or AIDS) but were ever so perfect. We went on countless family vacations with each others families. Life could have never been so perfect for me.......something happens at the beginning of this year though, it changes both are lives for ever, we are forced to make a decision that can never be reversed, never taken back. We aren't ready for any of this, we act immaturely and selfishly. Im not going to tell you what is that happened, but im sure you can understand. OUR (equal) decision is made on the basis that we will never let anything come between and no matter what, we will grow up together. We confes this promise to our parents in a time were are families have shuned us for our choices, we confest profound love of each other to our parents. So time heals our wounds....and we arrive back on track in life. As we enjoy an amazing summer, going on the best vacation to the most beautiful beach together, we are so sure that we are to end up as the high school sweathearts, that everyone talks about at the 10 year reunion. Half-way through our summer, she approaches me about getting drunk together while my parents are out of town one weekend, since I am normally not one for these type of things, I kind of was hesitant at first, knowing of the person she used to be before she met me (she could care less about anything but partying, drinking, smoking), but I took the chance. It only being the second or third time to drink before, I was pretty light-weight, none the less I had a good time. As summer dragged to the bitter end we had one more drunken parade alone, which was ensued by another wonderful time. By this time in summer she is in full swing at her job she had just gotten at the beginning of July. And let me emphasis how close we are, basically every day of the summer one of our houses had an extra placemat set for dinner. So were so fine until school starts. One night im working and I go on brake, I go into a resturant to get To Go..., and I catch her in the middle of a date with another guy. I take it pretty hard, I don't make a huge scene but I certainly got the point across to her and him of my disgust (I would never hit a girl, probably a guy neither, so I didn't beat her, don't worry). I go back to work and im in shambles, so that night I must have sat from 10 pm - 5 am trying to call her, but she wouldn't talk to me. I was let down more then I ever have been in my life (up until then). A few weeks go by and things are better, somewhat back to normal, were together still, I have forgiven her. She goes to her friends house to spend the night one night, and that night I call her friend cause I knew she was with her and she had left her phone at my house, so I call her letting her know that I can meet up with them and give it to her, I find out that shes not with her, shes out with this one girl and these two guys. I kind of take this one really hard and kind of have a breakdown were im just so upset casue I don't understand why shes doing this to me. My parents are refusing to let us see each other. All my friends are mad at me now cause I keep trying to starighten things out with her, none knowing of are promises to each other. So we work things out once again and have a few battles, here and there, up until a few weeks ago, where she starts hanging out with some girls that are pretty nice and cool, but do there share of partying. So she hangs out with them, and never calls me or will answer when I call when shes with them, and with an already low amount of trust between us, I start to worry all the time. During this time period she also picks up the habit of smoking, which I totally am against, but I can't say much about. I approach her about all this, because the year before, she gave me the choice her or my friends and I totally chose her(not cause I was doing bad things, but becasue I hung out with my friends more then her), so I give her the same choice, and I get the simple response "This is a whole different situation", so I ask her to make me a promise that no matter what happens to us she won't break. I ask her to promise me that she won't go back to drinking and doing bad stuff like she did before. So through all the past months we've been arguing and stuff, shes been telling me how shes going to go back to how she used to be, and telling me things like this time im really serious. So my birthday roles around, and for my birthday she sets up (with my help) a hotel room, and gets alcohol so we can have a party for me and her. Well this time I don't have a good time, and end up very unhappy with her. She tells me all sorts of things that ruin my week. That brings us all to this week:

So with my lack of trust dwindling, but my love for her more then ever, we go into homecomming week expecting to be each others dates to the homecomming game. So we have a great week, and everything, and then Thursday rolls around, and we have our homecomming game parade and pep-rally (its a half-day, as well as Friday), so we have a good parade and a good pep-rally and at the end of the pep-rally they turn off the lights in the stadium and let us get on the field. So as were getting on the field one of my best friend (who is in football) pulls me to the side and tells me my girlfriend has been calling this guy on the team and asking him if she can come over and watch movie when no one is home, saying "what matt doesn't know, won't hurt him". So I confront the guy that she supposedly was calling, who is my friend, and he tells me what he told him is true. So I naturally am sick and tired of all this, I give up on her, I let it all out. Well before the game Friday we have a tailgate party to raise money for the senior class, I see her there, and find out shes told me some more lies, and am so upset at her. I can't bare watching her hang out with the type of people she is hanging out with though. So I go off and uncharistically take a bunch of hydrocodenine, and smoke alot of cigarettes and dip a ton of dip (I never do anything like this, so this was a shock to me too). Well as me and my friends who think how im acting is hiliarious walk in to the game, I get hit by the hardest depression I've ever felt. I start to say things on the way in, and then I realize I want to go home, but my friend won't let me, he just tells me to come on and not talk to her, so as im walking up to sit down, I see her and tell her I need to talk. She naturally resist after the things I said, but I guilt trip her telling her she owes it to me. I start to talk to her and tell her how much I love her, and realize that I don't want to live if I can't without her. So I try to leave but she goes and gets my friend and they try to get my car keys from me cause they know I can't drive home. They start to talk to me, and try to get away but they won't let me, I get in someones care while they turn there heads to talk real fast and have them take me to my car. They call my parents and tell my parents I don't need to be driving so my parents go out looking for me. I am on my way home, I get pulled over, get 2 tickets, running a stop sign, and expired drivers liscense; and they search my car, probably from the smell of smoke and find nothing but freak me out bad. Im starting to want to jerk my car off the road every more white line I see go by, so I call her and have her meet me somewhere telling her that she needs to do this for me. So we talk and she tells me she called my parents cause I was meeting her somewhere, in the meanwhile she has already stolen my keys from me. So my dad pulls up to take me home, and I apologive for how I acted and I tell her I will always love her, and ask her to be good tonight, and she promises me she will be. So my dad takes me home, because I give the excuse that im feeling so sick I can't drive (which he buys, I think). So I go home, and sit on my computer, with no TV, no music, refreshing my email as we text message each other back and forth (I lost my phone in the middle of a ride at six flags). I sit there at that computer for 5 hours just getting those small text messages every 15 minutes. So she promises me while we were talking earlier that she will talk to me. So im waiting, just waiting for her to be able to talk to me. The game gets over and she goes to the senior breakfeast and begins to brake every promise we had ever made. She had promised me she would never smoke unless it was around just me; she smokes at the breakfeast. We each picked one person that the other could not hang out with, and she spends the night/hangs out all night with this person. She goes to a party were there is alcohol. She drinks alcohol, and tells me the next day she would have had more, had they not run out. This whole time im waiting, waiting, waiting, crying, crying, crying, waiting to talk to her. And finally I get ahold of her, she is being horribly mean, and being depressed as I already am I tell her that this is the last time were going to talk (not cause I don't want too cause I won't be able too). Long story short, im still messed up, and begging for her attention, yet she hangs up on me. My friend even comes over at 3 in the morning and talks to me about stuff. He was calling her through the whole thing. And I finally get to talk to her for real, and she promises me nothing bad happened to night. So I go in and take as many pills as I can swallow, nothing happens, waiting, waiting, I just throw up, throwing up, I throw up all night. I can't sleep. The next morning, she won't talk to me, so I go to her house, and talk to her, I breakdown, I found out all the promises she broke, all the lies. My mom calls cause im not helping out my friends mom at something for school, I tell her im over here, she knows how bad I've been feeling, how depressed I am from this. Her mom calls my mom, and make up horrible things, my mom exchanges words of fire. She calls me and I can hear her mom in the background yelling; "Just grow up, get over it". "Get over it". I can't handle anything anymore. Before I left she had promised me she wouldn't go anywhere after work she would go home and actually spend time talking to me. She goes to work, and texts me, im going out after work, I feel horrible. I talk to her for like 5 mins when she gets off. She promises she'll call me and tell me goodnight like she always used to do before she goes to bed. I wait by the phone, she doesn't call. I finally look up, its 4 in the AM. I go to bed for a few hours and wake up, to an attack by my parents. Telling me there getting me help, and possibly moving me to a new school in Austin (cause my dad works down there, he just comutes during the week) away from everything my senior year, when I've been in this school district my whole life. I call her and just let her know. She some reason is enticed to show sadness about this. Telling me she will change so I can be happy, she will be a perfect person, she never really wanted to change before, but this time she really understands.

I know it sounds so lame to care so much about a single person, especially in high school, but the things we've been through. If you could compare my love for her to anything you could set up an analogy of how much I love her, to how much God loves us all enough to give his son for everyones sins (not saying you have to believe in God or Jesus, just using the story of Jesus dieing for our sins as the analogy). Im so lost....I look horrible, I barely eat, I have constant headaches, am so sad, and feel like total nothing. I don't know what to do, I don't feel like doing anything; I had a huge paper due in College English tomorrow, and I haven't even done my rough draft. Im really considering moving schools, cause I know as long as I see her, and she is nice for a second in time, I will always accept her back. Im having my mom call the school I would transfer too tomorow, and find out things about it. My life is seriously the lowest its been......I just hope I can handle school tomorrow.

FarPastGone
10/04/04, 12:45 AM
Im sorry its so long......I just have nothing to do but waist time anyways. I really wish writing that would have made me feel better about things like I thought it would, but it just made me feel worse cause I thought about everything.

Shellular
10/04/04, 03:32 AM
Matt my dear, it sounds like she's never going to change, which is hurting you more and more. You deserve better than a girl that is going to purposely break her promises and hurt you. I think changing school would be a good idea. It would be a healthy change of environment, and who knows maybe you'll meet a wonderful girl at the new school.

richter915
10/04/04, 08:07 AM
she knows she has power over you and she's using it to make herself feel better cause she's so incredibly weak. that's the truth, accept it. Falling out of "love" is tough...but it's not so bad. Something you need to remind yourself is like...how would life be like without her...Also, you're in HS...feelings totally change once you get to college...you'll see tons more "party" girls who need to fuck every two minutes to make themselves feel happy...but you'll also see a lot more girls who aren't like that. What you need is some time off...take a break...you have to love yourself before you can love someone else...it's the truth...don't hurt yourself unless you know for sure that she'd do the same...and I highly doubt she'd flinch if you did twice the shit she's done.

don't let your "love" for her kill you.

burntpaper
10/04/04, 08:27 AM
I know how you feel. I just broke up with my boyfriend but I know that in a second I would take him back because of how much I love him. I just have to remember that he makes me so depressed by the way he acts that i'm physically sick and that that isn't ok. He goes to loads of partys and cheats with other girls, he takes drugs and is almost constantly drunk these days. It's no use screwing your life up with someone who treats you badly. The longer you stay with her the harder it'll be to leave and the more it'll hurt when it doesn't work out.

13th hour
10/04/04, 08:55 AM
whoa dude. Do what everyone else is saying and just avoid her. Dont even think about her.

Oh, and I know that its none of my business but if:
"something happens at the beginning of this year though, it changes both are lives for ever, we are forced to make a decision that can never be reversed, never taken back. We aren't ready for any of this, we act immaturely and selfishly.

If that is what I think it is, as soon as that happened, your relationship was doomed.

I know its hard man, but its time to move on. If you found someone that great, you can find someone even better next time.

Tyler Revolution
10/04/04, 10:45 AM
I'd agree and say she is taking advantage of you. She knows that you care for her and will always take her back no matter what she does, so prove to her this time, and don't take her back. Ask yourself, "Is this the type of girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with?" I don't think you do. What kind of relationship is one that you have to worry all the time, and can't trust her? Not a very good one. And I'm not saying that it wasn't good before, but it sounds as if its not a very good one now. I'd say just move on, and I know how hard that is... we've all been there. But the only way you will feel better is if you completely cut her out of your life, and forget about her. Try hanging out with a new girl, and that will be extremely hard, but that will help more than anything. Always surround yourself with friends, they will be there for you and they will make you feel better, and always keep yourself occupied. Stay busy so you don't have to think about her, the less you think about it the less you will be depressed, and the faster you'll move on. In time you will get over her, it will hurt for a while, but you'll make it. And we're all here to talk to you too.

Coronary Parasite
10/04/04, 11:37 AM
oh matt, i love you dude, please do what ever you can to move on, she is slowly killing you and it's not even effecting her. it may seem awful to at first to just let her go but it will pass, and it won't get worse, which this unfortunately will, go to the other school, make a fresh start, and do not go back to her in a few months because she swears she changed or she seems like she's different, it will happen all over again and it will be worse for you when it does, and whatever "threats" and promises she makes to get you not to leave her now are hollow, if she cared about you she wouldn't treat you like this

i hope everything works out for you, you're a good guy and don't deserve any of this

FarPastGone
10/04/04, 03:14 PM
I really appreciate all the engouragment guys......another factor is I really don't want to see her go back to the person she used to be, like I helped her get rid of so many bad habits, and now it seems like they are all comming back but worse, and I can't watch the girl I love become this type of person.

Coronary Parasite
10/04/04, 04:02 PM
I really appreciate all the engouragment guys......another factor is I really don't want to see her go back to the person she used to be, like I helped her get rid of so many bad habits, and now it seems like they are all comming back but worse, and I can't watch the girl I love become this type of person.
but nothing that you're saying or doing is going to keep her from changing back, you fell in love, appreciate that and move on, it's all you can do right now

SonEric84
10/04/04, 04:28 PM
Your post really hits close to home, I went through almost the exact same type of thing 3 years ago...it's horrible I was depressed for about a year after we broke up, so I know exactly how you feel. But you have to go on because you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Take it as a learning experience for what you don't want in another person, someone who will lie to you and break promises. I know it's a lot harder to do than I am making it sound, but you'll realize after a while that this isn't what you want to let someone do to you. Just take it day by day, surround yourself with things that you enjoy and people that make you happy, you'll snap out of it eventually and after a while you'll probably become disgusted with this girls actions. Hope this helps some, best of luck.

No Control
10/04/04, 08:16 PM
Ok dude so I read your post before going to class and didnt have time to respond so now Im going to but I must say I thought about it after I got offline. This actually happened to a good friend of mine though I think your situation, you have it alittle bit worse than him. But honestly man truth be told and Im sorry to say this, She is NOT the same person you feel in love with. And I know how hard it is to close a chapter of your life and your past that has effected you so much, for the better and worst, but listen man its for the best. No matter how hard she begs, promises these are all empty. She just knows youll take her back, so she really does not care and honestly you seem like a cool dude and you deserve better than a person like that. The best way to get over someone is by re-focusing your life on something else. Honestly, a person like that in your life is like an addiction. People have to find other things to forget about this "addiction" and do something benificial to their life. For example, My best friend who are in a situation so close to yours found this in weight lifting and dedication to just getting to where he wanted to be. Now I only say this because it totally got his mind off of her, and after awhile realized that she wasnt worth his tears. He further progressed into the person he wanted to become and who he was happy with. Also, they may be my opinion but I think most can agree, the only way to get over someone is to excommunicate someone at least till the feelings you have subsied but that decision is yours. Listen man, I am really sorry for what situation you are going through, no one deserves this, but this girl is only bringing you and your emotions and even in some ways your life down. You can do better than her. It will be hard but, find ways to vent and deal with this situation and IT WILL GET BETTER.
Take Care of yourself dude and if you ever need to vent thats what this board is for.

punklet2101
10/04/04, 09:54 PM
I have nothing different to say other than what everyone else said. I know how you feel and it sucks. But take everyone's advice here and move on.

burntpaper
10/05/04, 03:58 AM
I really appreciate all the engouragment guys......another factor is I really don't want to see her go back to the person she used to be, like I helped her get rid of so many bad habits, and now it seems like they are all comming back but worse, and I can't watch the girl I love become this type of person.

So don't watch. Believe me you can't make her change, she can only do that herself. I know it's hard but you just have to let go before she brings you down with her.

xGrabxThexGunx
10/05/04, 08:06 PM
Hello Matt.
Im sorry about everything you have been through. But i def. know about mostly everything. I have always been here for you..and i always will. Im not going to sit here and tell you what i think you should do..cuz honestly it wont help any. Its all you love...You have to do this for your self. You and me and everyone that has commented all know you dont deserve this at all. Just make your self happy. I love you.

Tyler Revolution
10/05/04, 09:04 PM
Hello Matt.
Im sorry about everything you have been through. But i def. know about mostly everything. I have always been here for you..and i always will. Im not going to sit here and tell you what i think you should do..cuz honestly it wont help any. Its all you love...You have to do this for your self. You and me and everyone that has commented all know you dont deserve this at all. Just make your self happy. I love you.

Is this a joke?

punklet2101
10/05/04, 11:30 PM
Is this a joke?

they probably know each other ?

No Control
10/06/04, 03:05 PM
Hello Matt.
Im sorry about everything you have been through. But i def. know about mostly everything. I have always been here for you..and i always will. Im not going to sit here and tell you what i think you should do..cuz honestly it wont help any. Its all you love...You have to do this for your self. You and me and everyone that has commented all know you dont deserve this at all. Just make your self happy. I love you.



I hope this person is a friend of his and not the girl herself.

FarPastGone
10/06/04, 03:41 PM
Yeah thats one of my friends.....she wanted to know what happened Friday night to me at the game. So I just told her to read that.

PunkDrums182
10/06/04, 04:02 PM
i thought that was some random jackass.. okay all is well.. well sorta

Tyler Revolution
10/06/04, 07:28 PM
i thought that was some random jackass.. okay all is well.. well sorta

That's what I thought, I thought they were acting like the girl... Now I get it.

Conjurer976
10/06/04, 08:59 PM
Keep your chin up, Matt.

If you ever want to talk I'm here for ya bro.

Corey M.

xGrabxThexGunx
10/07/04, 05:37 PM
haha..yes i am just a friend.
Not the actual girl herself.
Or some jackass..
well maybe a little bit of a jackass.

Tyler Revolution
10/07/04, 07:16 PM
Is Corey M. a friend too? Ahh, its like one big happy family...

commatosa
10/07/04, 11:02 PM
Matt,

My dear boy, I've experienced the same sort of heart break. However drastic this situation is, you HAVE to get over her. Here's the trick. Don't associate with her, don't think about her, get her out of your mind. In fact I want you to shout "FUCK YOU (enter her name here)!!" Didn't that feel good? If she truly is ruining your life just convince yourself that you don't need to be sad and if she's going to backtrack and ruin her life.. you've done everything you can. It's not worth suffering an emotional breakdown. This girl obviously doesn't care about you anymore. And I wish I didn't have to be harsh about it but it's the harsh truth. The only thing left to do is give up on her. Just call her up for the last time and say "Thank you for everything that we've been through. You've helped me realize so many things in my life. Thank you for all of the wonderful memories. Thank you for all of the experiences, good and bad. I will always love you but I need to move on and that means we can't talk or associate until I'm willing." And you CAN'T give in until you feel completely mended. You HAVE to be strong because it's a fact of life that if you're trying to get over someone, it's emotionally and humanly IMPOSSIBLE if you see them or associate with them. Because if they're nice to you once, you'll be convinced that they still have feelings for you - Dr. Drew. I've been there. It sucks. I'm sorry buddy, you probably don't want to believe it because it hurts. It's the painful truth. But this pain is nothing compared to the pain you could potentially feel if you don't take my advice. Do it for yourself. You're not being selfish. She's not being selfish either. People move on, she has and it's time that you need to. I hope this helped.

sickofscene
10/14/04, 10:32 AM
Matt, hold on my man. Thats all I can say. There really isn't any advice I can give you that will make you feel that much better or that much secure with Lauren. I just wish you would think about. Their is a destructive path that every one takes once in a while. I for one was on one this year already. I denied to everyone because this is college and hell I am going to fuck my life if I feel pleased. Only you can realize whats right for you. Death to traitors. Who is this kid? Haha. I dig man. I seriously dig you on it. Be careful. I know this is the gayest post you will recieve but hopefully I can help. I am not going to force feed anything to you so just be cautious. I come back this weekend so maybe we can jam. Who knows.

Brandon H.

Tyler Revolution
10/14/04, 11:07 AM
How many of Matt's friends are going to post here? And why don't you all post more often?

blink182tomchik
10/23/04, 07:13 PM
ummm....im out of advice..sorry!