PDA

View Full Version : Should i forgive him?

(FallFrom)Grace
10/10/04, 07:18 AM
i'm not really in the habit of asking strangers for advice, but i'm really confused, so it might help...

anyways... I'd been friends with this guy Dan, for about 2 years. we were incredibly close, we talked all the time and i trusted him so much. he was in a long term relationship, and his girlfriend always said she was fine with us being friends. but then about this time last year we were at a party and she started accusing me of trying to get with him, and steal him away from her. the whole thing blew up and she banned him from ever seeing or talking to me. she also punched me in the face pretty hard (she's a "tough girl").

so instead of standing up to her in any way, or even trying to defend me, he completely disowns me. he just cut me out of his life completely, throwing away what i thought was a meaningful friendship. he even tried to stop one of his mates from getting with me, and turned people against me.

so cut to friday night... he calls me up out of the blue saying he needs to talk to me. he said he met a few of my friends in a club and they gave him my number. he was completely bollocksed, but started going on about how much he misses me and all this shit. he eventually accepted blame for the fact that we arent friends anymore and apologised, and he's been texting me all saturday trying to get me to meet up with him and sort it out.

he's not with his girlfriend anymore. and from what i've heard he's really messed up with drink and drugs. he needs someone to talk to, and try and help him sort his life out. i want to help him, but i really dont know if i can forgive him for how he treated me.

sorry this is so long... i had to get it out. any imput anyone?
andromeda
10/10/04, 08:49 AM
i'd say give him a second chance, he seems to be in a time of need
Mercy Medical
10/10/04, 09:02 AM
I'd agree, give him a second chance. I dunno, I'm somewhat in the same situation, however I'm the one ignoring my once best friend. It's somewhat of a complicated story, but basically my new best friend hates him with a passion because he was an asshole to me most of our friendship until recently. I pretty much haven't talked to him at all (he's over in Iraq right now because he's in the Marines, but he still has AIM and email and stuff) for a while just to prevent any situation or argument between me and my current best friend, but I know eventually I'm going to have to talk to him because he has changed and he is a better guy, but it's just hard to convince my current best friend that he's different and I think she's really scared that she's going to lose to position as the most important person in my life and my best friend once he comes into the picture, but I've told her time and time again that it will never happen.

Anyways, back to your problem...like I said I'd give him a second chance, he obviously realizes that he's in the wrong here, plus if he means a lot to you and you don't want to see him get into drinking and drugs, you gotta be there for support.
Bishop
10/10/04, 09:34 AM
I would give him a second chance. But if I were you I'd make him feel really really bad for the way he treated you and make him feel as guilty as possible. If you see tears start welling up, then you can forgive him.
kimosabe
10/10/04, 10:13 AM
Let him rot.
He wasn't there for you,
why should you be there for him?
If anything you should meet up with him, listen to his story and then...
just rip his heart out. Tell him to go fuck himself.
that serves him right.
(FallFrom)Grace
10/10/04, 10:25 AM
thanks for the responses. i am starting to agree (with the majority) that i should give him a second chance. its tough. part of me really wants to just tell him it serves him right. he wasnt around when a lot of stuff has happened to me, and has caused me problems. i'd feel really guilty about it though.

at the end of the day, i guess i should just be the nice guy, maybe he'll appreciate me more the second time round?
Tyler Revolution
10/10/04, 11:23 AM
i'd say give him a second chance, he seems to be in a time of need

Ditto.
kimosabe
10/10/04, 03:24 PM
maybe he'll appreciate me more the second time round?
no offence, but that is the most stupid thing i have read in a long while.
I refer you to my previous post in this topic.
SC0926
10/10/04, 03:27 PM
id say give him the second chance....but the minute he fucks up again, your gone. you dont deserve to be pushed around and messed with.
brandnewtbs23
10/10/04, 04:15 PM
Let him rot.
He wasn't there for you,
why should you be there for him?
If anything you should meet up with him, listen to his story and then...
just rip his heart out. Tell him to go fuck himself.
that serves him right.
why do you put down every one that tries to get help here, maby he just liked the girl and didnt want to mess the relationship... which wasnt right of him to do but if he is truly sorry forgive him, chances are it wont happen again
kimosabe
10/10/04, 04:54 PM
why do you put down every one that tries to get help here, maby he just liked the girl and didnt want to mess the relationship... which wasnt right of him to do but if he is truly sorry forgive him, chances are it wont happen again

I'm not putting her down. I'm just saying that if he turned his back to her once he has showed her his true colors.
Offcourse he is sorry now, when he doesn't have his old GF..so he comes running back with his tail between his legs. and yeah "chances" are it won't happen again. so what? are you willing to take that 'chance'? To many people think "oh, she/he's changed now! he/she's a diffrent person!" that's complete BS. That's the same thing abused women think when they stay with someone that beats them.."he said he was gonna change!".. and how often do they? Don't take the risk, leave him hanging. for good.
John Kerry
10/10/04, 05:05 PM
You shoud..... VOTE FOR JOHN KERRY.
kimosabe
10/10/04, 05:09 PM
You shoud..... VOTE FOR JOHN KERRY.
no shit
John Kerry
10/10/04, 05:12 PM
Kimosabe, do you believe that we should punish people because they have handicaps such as little penis'? If you said yes...THAN VOTE FOR ME!

Becuase I will see to it that we kill/eliminate/cleanse or whatever people with small wangs!
kimosabe
10/10/04, 05:18 PM
Kimosabe, do you believe that we should punish people because they have handicaps such as little penis'? If you said yes...THAN VOTE FOR ME!

Becuase I will see to it that we kill/eliminate/cleanse or whatever people with small wangs!
so...mass genocide against all japanese men?
John Kerry
10/10/04, 05:25 PM
How big are their wangs?
kimosabe
10/10/04, 05:45 PM
not big