"The Not So Subtle Cry For Help" (please comment)

[ripmyheartout]

"The Not So Subtle Cry For Help"

I didn't ask for much, just to love and to be loved
But still my life is just a series of disappoinment
And abandonment, and, no I don't mean to bother you
No, I don't mean to complain, it's just I think I remember
A promise I guess you forgot to keep
If I ever was in any pain you would stand by me and wait
As long as it would take for it to pass
But maybe it was a miscommunication
Just like the times you told me that you
Would look after me forever
But I guess you really meant as long as I could
Hold myself together, "She'll be fine, she'll be fine"
"All she does is cry and whine, constantly, non-stop"
But I cannot control the time or heartbreak or the world
So please, please, excuse me, for I have no place to stay
But God, oh God, keep me from myself for atleast another day

[TheInBetween 0]

nice...10 points. are the quotes in there actual quotes? cuz thatd be kick ass.

[ripmyheartout]

yea they are quotes, well i mean i might have left out an "and" or something, but yes, my bestfriends say that to me lol

[punkpixie]

I really enjoyed reading that. Good Job!

[guitarguy33]

yea they are quotes, well i mean i might have left out an "and" or something, but yes, my bestfriends say that to me lol

Another good poem. No criticism at all either. To Punkpixie, your signature is quite a conundrum....I like.

[ripmyheartout]

thanks guys. it always makes me feel like im not a shitty writer when ppl say nice things lolol

[punkpixie]

Another good poem. No criticism at all either. To Punkpixie, your signature is quite a conundrum....I like.

Yeah, I'm pessimistic like that....

[Love As Arson]

End it already, so we don't have to put up with your horrible poetry.

[The Bled 13]

hahahahahaah.,