i hate doing this...

[mirtizzle]

but i'm desperate, and i don't know what to do.
i have a horrible track record when it comes to boys. we either move way too fast, or we don't move at all, and in every relationship and almost-relationship i've ever been in i've gotten hurt - sometimes i don't really care, and others, well, i'm still trying to get over. anyway, i'm very scared of guys and the notion of getting involved with anyone to the point that as a result of everything, i tend to avoid dating people, even if i like the guy just because i know it probably won't work.

but about a month ago, i met someone. he lives two doors down from me. he and his roommates walked over to a party we were having one night, and since then we've hung out a couple times and just played video games, but both times i was a little drunk so i had the courage to actually go over there.. and i've talked to him a couple times other than that, once to invite him to a halloween party i was going to (which he didn't go to) and then another time to return a hat a friend of mine borrowed from him when we went to go invite him to the party.

he's really easy and fun to talk to, and i have a lot of fun when i hang out with him.. he's also really smart, he's a materials engineering major, which is a far cry from the losers i usually go after... not to mention, he's really, really, REALLY cute.

my problem is that i really want to go hang out with him, but i hate just showing up at his place even though he told me to come by whenever. i feel like he was just being polite.. so.. i don't really know what advice i'm asking for, i guess i just want to hear some support or maybe some tips for growing some balls and going over there, or... something. i don't know.
thanks anyway

[punklet2101]

Hmm.. I know what you mean.

You could always give him a call or just go to the door and ask him if he wants to go somewhere with you.. I don't know, coffee or something.. anything you guys would like to do.. or even ask him to come over to yours, if you don't like going over to his all the time. Either way, take a chance!

[Tyler Revolution]

Hmm.. I know what you mean.

You could always give him a call or just go to the door and ask him if he wants to go somewhere with you.. I don't know, coffee or something.. anything you guys would like to do.. or even ask him to come over to yours, if you don't like going over to his all the time. Either way, take a chance!


Yeah, do what Helen said. I'm a pussy when it comes to these things. My girlfriend makes all the moves... I'm lame.

[venus/bacchus]

Ask him if he wants to go to lunch. It generally sucks having to eat alone, so I'm jump at the chance to eat with someone, even if I only remotely know them. This'll give you guys a chance to just talk and get to know each other, and it's pretty unlikely he'll say no (unless he isn't hungry, and even then it's good just to get out of the room).

[Mad Caddie]

if he seems even remotely keen, im sure he'd LOVE to see some interest from you just by coming round or giving him a call. guys like to know youve given them a second thought. its so awesome when i really enjoy being with a chick ive met and she actually sends me a message or something to say hi. plus guys think a hell of a lot less about this stuff than chicks. if a dude goes to a girls place, she analyses all the possible reasons why he came, chick goes to a dudes house, the dude thinks "sweet! a friend!" worth a try.

[Greg]

just say.... "nice shoes... let's fuck"



maybe this is why i cant get a girlfriend? haha

[Louise Heng]

ask him to eat lunch or something some day. Lunch is casual, but long enough to get together and talk etc :D

[venus/bacchus]

if he seems even remotely keen, im sure he'd LOVE to see some interest from you just by coming round or giving him a call. guys like to know youve given them a second thought. its so awesome when i really enjoy being with a chick ive met and she actually sends me a message or something to say hi. plus guys think a hell of a lot less about this stuff than chicks. if a dude goes to a girls place, she analyses all the possible reasons why he came, chick goes to a dudes house, the dude thinks "sweet! a friend!" worth a try.
Listen to this guy. Males are idiots. You can be sending signals like crazy, but chances are, unless one of your friends tells us you're interested, we really wouldn't know, or we'd just assume you're being the typical flirty girl. If you come over and show serious interest, that's definitely a plus for him because he doesn't have to sit there and wonder if it'd be cool if he came over to visit you or if he was misinterpretting or whatever.

[Brit_Ben]

girls are just as bad, i think worse. All girls give out bloody weird signals and then if u think they like you you find out their just 'being friendly' n all that shite. But i spose all people are different ey? u just gota learn how to interpertate these 'signals'.

[MiNiSkIrTzRaWk]

phone call...best way! just go to the movies or something... i dunno! my bf does everything...

[Hilikus]

phone call...best way! just go to the movies or something... i dunno! my bf does everything...

i have a feeling im not going to like you.

[Tyler Revolution]

haha I can't make moves either, all my friends say "you better hope your gf is aggressive or nothing is going to get done"


Yeah, I hate it. It's pretty lame that I'm such a wuss. I guess I'm just that "nice guy"... but my girlfriend does make the moves, so that's cool.

[gmc14]

but i'm desperate, and i don't know what to do.
i have a horrible track record when it comes to boys. we either move way too fast, or we don't move at all, and in every relationship and almost-relationship i've ever been in i've gotten hurt - sometimes i don't really care, and others, well, i'm still trying to get over. anyway, i'm very scared of guys and the notion of getting involved with anyone to the point that as a result of everything, i tend to avoid dating people, even if i like the guy just because i know it probably won't work.

but about a month ago, i met someone. he lives two doors down from me. he and his roommates walked over to a party we were having one night, and since then we've hung out a couple times and just played video games, but both times i was a little drunk so i had the courage to actually go over there.. and i've talked to him a couple times other than that, once to invite him to a halloween party i was going to (which he didn't go to) and then another time to return a hat a friend of mine borrowed from him when we went to go invite him to the party.

he's really easy and fun to talk to, and i have a lot of fun when i hang out with him.. he's also really smart, he's a materials engineering major, which is a far cry from the losers i usually go after... not to mention, he's really, really, REALLY cute.

my problem is that i really want to go hang out with him, but i hate just showing up at his place even though he told me to come by whenever. i feel like he was just being polite.. so.. i don't really know what advice i'm asking for, i guess i just want to hear some support or maybe some tips for growing some balls and going over there, or... something. i don't know.
thanks anyway
I wouldn't suggest "growing balls", I don't think that would help your situatoin. In fact, I'm pretty sure you'd scare the dude off.

Honestly tho, I've got the same problem with chicks I actually like. I'm nice to most girls just in general, but it seems the ones I don't have any interest in are the ones who alwasy ask me out, the ones I actually like alwasy expect me to make the first move, and I just can't do it. Scared from bad experiences in the past? I dunno, I wish I had an answer, but the drunk thing works. I've been drunk 2ice. And the firsttime I ever got drunk I ended up making out with a chick, which I hadn't done for 4 or 5 months (since a break-up). Drink a little, and even if it doesn't allow you to "grow balls", you can always just act a little drunker than you are and use it as an excuse if things don't work out.

[punklet2101]

i have a feeling im not going to like you.

haha, yeah

[when 4ever ends]

if he invited you over when ever you want then just go over when you want.. and by you going there your only going to increase the chances of him likeing you


why are girls always afraid to take chances?

[mirtizzle]

if he invited you over when ever you want then just go over when you want.. and by you going there your only going to increase the chances of him likeing you


why are girls always afraid to take chances?

because we're all afraid of getting hurt.


thanks for the advice guys, i really appreciate it