Torn Between the Two

[XxmagnesiumxX]

So ive got a big problem and i dont know which way to go. Im sorry if this is long, but i really need some help.

It all started with plans for my "sweet 16". I didnt really want to do anything, but my mom suggested that we go away on vacation for a long weekend. I thought that sounded good since my birthdays in october. Coincidently, that day my mom saw some close family friends and since they were planning on going on vacation, they decided they wanted to come with us. We picked Columbus day weekend, and i was actually excited.

Then the next day i got a call from my dad. (Some backround info is that my parents are divorced, and my dad lives in Colombia with my stepmom and halfbrothers) He asked me what i wanted to do for my birthday, and i told him about the plan to go away. He thought that was a good idea and said that he could help out because he had a timeshare. THEN, he asked if it was okay if him and the boys came along with us. Then he said hed call me back tommorrow and hung up.

My immediate reaction was hell no. That would be the most awkward situation ever if my father and half brothers came along with me. Especially since my moms birthday would ne on that long weekend. I would never want to do that. If he came along i would never have a good time because i would feel obligated to spend time with him and not have fun with my mom and friends. I really dont understand what he is thinking.

After the phone call i told my mom, and i could tell she really didnt want that to happen either. Now shes saying that insted of all of us going on a trip, i could just go with my dad, and she could give me the money she was going to spend (about 1000 bucks). I really dont want to do that because i want to have fun and not be with a 5 and 3 year old on my birthday trip. This really sucks and i dont know what to do. My dad just made a supposed great day into one i dont even want to go through. Its like every time my dad interfers, i always have to choose or am put into a horrible situation. I dont want to hurt his feelings, but i really just dont want him to come.

So i dont know what to do. Should i go with him somewhere, or should he just come with us. Or is there even another solution? I dont know, but i really need some help with this decision. Please give me some advice!!

[eHaMpToN]

tl;dr

[intensified]

Wow. Too long to care.

[TheSkyline]

Um, just kill your dad.

[becauseyouwant2]

If it bothers you that much, there is no way out of it without hurting your fathers feelings. You need to make peace with that.

[XxmagnesiumxX]

yeah, i guess so. But its not exactly the easiest thing to do.

[.invisible ink.]

i tried so hard to finish it and i couldn't get through it. my attention span sucks for non-interesting posts.

[luckyforsome]

Well if you really want to go with your mom and friends, then just try to reschedule something with your dad? You could go out to eat with him, or do whatever, after you come back. idk.

[Zieb]

When did your parents divorce? It sounds recent yet being you have half brothers that old it's probably been a while. But your parents really need to learn or at least your dad does that they have to share you and not interfere with plans the other parent has already made unless they ultimately never ever see you which usually has deeper reasons for anyway.

Try proposing half birthdays, you and your mom go out now and half a year later do something with your dad. Or next year plan to be with your dad etc...

My parents got divorced when I was two so I've always been used to it. We've always just had it where I spend this holiday with my dad like Thanksgiving then Christmas with my mom, and switch it around next year. Being my birthday is Dec 22nd which is right next to Christmas that always meant whoever I spent Christmas with I also obviously was spending my birthday with.

And really the key thing you wrote is "THEN, he asked if it was okay if him and the boys came along with us", he 'asked' you so just say no tomorrow when you two talk and if he asks why just explain how you feel about it and if you want to offer to find some other time to spend with him. It's just no fun hanging out with both your parents somewhere and especially not when it's your birthday and your supposed to be having fun, not feeling obligated to spend so much time with each one of them.

[sjb2k1]

i don't know if there's really a good way of getting around an awkward situation like this, but what the poster above me said is probably the best thing you can do.

[argg_xo]

too long, didn't read. and i never had a sweet 16 so i don't care.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

I miss life when this was the biggest and only problem going on.

[spansen]

call your dad back and stick with mom. make plans with dad some other time. jeez.

[remedyeli]

Do people actually read the first posts on these things anymore?
I don't.

[spansen]

i did.

[thesafeword]

I'm only saying this because I love you, fuck you Dad!

[disco.tetris]

Too long.