ak4
08/30/08, 10:19 PM
ive been doing some thinking...
guess i felt it creeping up my spine..
thought i might just give it time..
guess i know that its a stupid disease, what you do to me..
but maybe im wrong, maybe ive lost my train of thought..
but everytime i see you its like my words get caught..
this knot in my stomach wont go nowhere, and i aint gonna lie cause i know you care..
but sometimes i think the night is bright when we forget about our morales, and just let it ride..
gotta move on, gotta not cry, gotta let you understand, gotta tell ya why..
why sometimes my words dont come out, why my eyes find the ground most appealing..
i guess i was always a pessimist, finding no motivation in the ceiling....
with no light i am a knight in shining armor
constantly clinging to my sword
i know all of your moves and i am hellish with my counter
for i find no reason in which to appease you
you are the lamb to my slaughter
you are the burnt out candle that no longer will grace these endless halls of woe
how the tables turn
its like no matter how much i shift it, a circle will always be just a circle
its like a cycle of "oh god not this again"s
and "nice to hear from a friend"
well i can pull out this steel and plunge it through your chest
but i think its to myself do i hurt you best..
i think its only to myself do i hurt you best
okay so, the first poem is about this girl. shes my best friend we grew up together but lately its been sort of, every now and then we forget everything and just hook up and its really strange but awesome. shes leaving for the air force in december. so i just jotted some notes about how i feel about everything into something short and surprisingly (in my opinion) rather well crafted. opinions?
the second poem is kind of lackluster at best. you see when i write poetry or lyrics i really just sit down with them once, read em over a bunch of times and move on. so i will understand the hate on this second piece i just liked a few key lines:
"its like no matter how much i shift it, a circle will always be just a circle
its like a cycle of "oh god not this again"s
and "nice to hear from a friend"
well i can pull out this steel and plunge it through your chest
but i think its to myself do i hurt you best.."
really the whole motivation to the second poem is an ex-gf who i recently ended things with. my mind is so cluttered with so many things, but everytime i sit down and write its always about some female. oh well, i hope you guys have some positives or critique that isnt so, oh i dont know, harsh? though surely the harshest of critics are the best. lets see where this set goes. thanks :)
guess i felt it creeping up my spine..
thought i might just give it time..
guess i know that its a stupid disease, what you do to me..
but maybe im wrong, maybe ive lost my train of thought..
but everytime i see you its like my words get caught..
this knot in my stomach wont go nowhere, and i aint gonna lie cause i know you care..
but sometimes i think the night is bright when we forget about our morales, and just let it ride..
gotta move on, gotta not cry, gotta let you understand, gotta tell ya why..
why sometimes my words dont come out, why my eyes find the ground most appealing..
i guess i was always a pessimist, finding no motivation in the ceiling....
with no light i am a knight in shining armor
constantly clinging to my sword
i know all of your moves and i am hellish with my counter
for i find no reason in which to appease you
you are the lamb to my slaughter
you are the burnt out candle that no longer will grace these endless halls of woe
how the tables turn
its like no matter how much i shift it, a circle will always be just a circle
its like a cycle of "oh god not this again"s
and "nice to hear from a friend"
well i can pull out this steel and plunge it through your chest
but i think its to myself do i hurt you best..
i think its only to myself do i hurt you best
okay so, the first poem is about this girl. shes my best friend we grew up together but lately its been sort of, every now and then we forget everything and just hook up and its really strange but awesome. shes leaving for the air force in december. so i just jotted some notes about how i feel about everything into something short and surprisingly (in my opinion) rather well crafted. opinions?
the second poem is kind of lackluster at best. you see when i write poetry or lyrics i really just sit down with them once, read em over a bunch of times and move on. so i will understand the hate on this second piece i just liked a few key lines:
"its like no matter how much i shift it, a circle will always be just a circle
its like a cycle of "oh god not this again"s
and "nice to hear from a friend"
well i can pull out this steel and plunge it through your chest
but i think its to myself do i hurt you best.."
really the whole motivation to the second poem is an ex-gf who i recently ended things with. my mind is so cluttered with so many things, but everytime i sit down and write its always about some female. oh well, i hope you guys have some positives or critique that isnt so, oh i dont know, harsh? though surely the harshest of critics are the best. lets see where this set goes. thanks :)