For The Fallen

[punkpixie]

When she was 5 Annie drew a picture,
The trees were green and the sky was blue,
As you’d expect from a child.
Rosy, bright with sun
Safe sleep at night.

When she was 10 Annie wrote a story,
A prince, a princess and a happy ending
As you’d expect from a girl.
Ever after, sealed with a kiss.
Stay up late.

When she was 13 Annie got caught in a war,
There was smoke, fire, bullets and guns,
As you’d expect in a battle.
Blood and death.
Up and awake all night.

When she was 15 Annie cried herself to sleep,
Bare trees through blurred eyes and swollen lids,
As you’d expect from a prisoner.
Broken nightmare, living Hell
Won’t wake up.

[thepunkpig]

this is really really good. i enjoyed it.

[punkpixie]

Thanks a lot. That is much appreciated.

[deathgrin]

very expressive and impressive,i love it.

[punkpixie]

Thanks.

[CrySonic]

however old you are: it's good. just remember that purely from an outsider's asshole perspective...it feels like you're trying to prove yourself. you could take a fictional approach and expound on the poem while upping the ages. still, i'm 20 and many of my peers couldn't write like that. good luck!

[punkpixie]

Thanks, that gives me confidence in what I'm doing. I'm only 17 years old, I've probably got along way to go!

[punkpixie]

Anyone else wanna comment?

[Brand_New_WHO?!]

U know i really liked this, its very dramatic. Thanks for sharing, it would have been a shame to have not been seen. It made me sad though :(

[thefalloutgirl]

17? that is pretty impressive.

[atticus_4132]

really really good...i enjoyed reading it...i wanna read more from your poetry..

[SK_mo]

it was good, sad but good nontheless. Was this based on Ann Frank, or is it just coinidence? Either way, it was nicely put.

[punkpixie]

Yeah, it was loosely based around her. Thats who I thought of when I wrote it.