to kill this
09/03/08, 10:40 AM
these are all little bits i wrote during the summer.
I. according to my calculations, i think about you... well there's 24 hours in a day, and there
are 7 days in a week, and there's three weeks in a month, and there's...well i think about you
a lot, maybe a little too much, but could you really say you didn't know? i mean, i tremble,
blush, when we touch, or we accidentally brush...hands. i wonder, do i stand a chance? i really
hope i do, or i've been wasting all this time calculating my thoughts, my hopes of me and
you.
II. i'm kind of a mess so sometimes it's best
to just forgive and forget...
well not me, you see i just come off so silly
sometimes, saying too much of what's on my mind
so just gimme some time, yeah gimme some time
III. stupid, stupid butterflies
i try so hard but i can't hide
each and every flutter
that flies, unchained,
uncaged from side to side.
IV. you're like a redundant little circle
in this neverending pattern, cycle,
chain that wraps around
and weighs me down
no longer shall i sustain
such bullshit.
V. i'd say i have one hell of a memory
but a bottle in my hand can erase anything
and you're just another one of those times
that i can chug away from my mind.
VI. it's that itchy gitchy feeling
that leaves you fuzzy and warm all over,
new years to pluck from grass with luck
as promising as four leaf clovers.
VII. so how come the girl always caught so many eyes
but she couldn't find a pair that would stay by her side?
VIII. don't mind me, i tend to babble sometimes
and throw up words that should stay scrabbled up in my mind
but sometimes the vowels and consonants
become too much to hold
so forgive me if i come off too bold.
IX. slim strips of sunlight
break through the glass
ending another night
spent wishing for a break
from the twist and turn
the crunch and churn
of my heart, beneath
these ribs, a cage of
ivory skin, shaking,
creaking, breaking
it's been too long since
it's been too long since
someone's spent the time
just to try to hold my hand.
X. It's three AM and i'm still awake
counting the distance between each breath I take
maybe I'm scared, unprepared, too aware
of the open future before me,
sprawled like a canvas
blank until I stamp it
with my creativity,
with tiny bits of me.
specks and sparkles of hopes and dreams
forged and created since I was small,
big blue eyes innocent and wide.
they've darkened and jaded with time
but even I now realize
that my future is blind
and I refuse to gaze in black and white.
XI. Sleep, come consume me
like a blanket of velvet
calm and soothe me
break into bits and crush into ashes
the doubts and fears
that run through tears
and dribble down my eyelashes
spilling down my shirt
and dampening my waist,
this darkness loves the taste of my
overwhelming inscurity...
with past and present
and future tenses
and all that lies in between...
So i give up and in,
searching for hints
of morning orange, glowing through
the solemn shades of gray.
I shake off the nightmares,
cuddle with my teddy bear
and lie for minutes, awake,
gathering up all my strength.
Breathe in and out and prepare
to face a brand new day.
I. according to my calculations, i think about you... well there's 24 hours in a day, and there
are 7 days in a week, and there's three weeks in a month, and there's...well i think about you
a lot, maybe a little too much, but could you really say you didn't know? i mean, i tremble,
blush, when we touch, or we accidentally brush...hands. i wonder, do i stand a chance? i really
hope i do, or i've been wasting all this time calculating my thoughts, my hopes of me and
you.
II. i'm kind of a mess so sometimes it's best
to just forgive and forget...
well not me, you see i just come off so silly
sometimes, saying too much of what's on my mind
so just gimme some time, yeah gimme some time
III. stupid, stupid butterflies
i try so hard but i can't hide
each and every flutter
that flies, unchained,
uncaged from side to side.
IV. you're like a redundant little circle
in this neverending pattern, cycle,
chain that wraps around
and weighs me down
no longer shall i sustain
such bullshit.
V. i'd say i have one hell of a memory
but a bottle in my hand can erase anything
and you're just another one of those times
that i can chug away from my mind.
VI. it's that itchy gitchy feeling
that leaves you fuzzy and warm all over,
new years to pluck from grass with luck
as promising as four leaf clovers.
VII. so how come the girl always caught so many eyes
but she couldn't find a pair that would stay by her side?
VIII. don't mind me, i tend to babble sometimes
and throw up words that should stay scrabbled up in my mind
but sometimes the vowels and consonants
become too much to hold
so forgive me if i come off too bold.
IX. slim strips of sunlight
break through the glass
ending another night
spent wishing for a break
from the twist and turn
the crunch and churn
of my heart, beneath
these ribs, a cage of
ivory skin, shaking,
creaking, breaking
it's been too long since
it's been too long since
someone's spent the time
just to try to hold my hand.
X. It's three AM and i'm still awake
counting the distance between each breath I take
maybe I'm scared, unprepared, too aware
of the open future before me,
sprawled like a canvas
blank until I stamp it
with my creativity,
with tiny bits of me.
specks and sparkles of hopes and dreams
forged and created since I was small,
big blue eyes innocent and wide.
they've darkened and jaded with time
but even I now realize
that my future is blind
and I refuse to gaze in black and white.
XI. Sleep, come consume me
like a blanket of velvet
calm and soothe me
break into bits and crush into ashes
the doubts and fears
that run through tears
and dribble down my eyelashes
spilling down my shirt
and dampening my waist,
this darkness loves the taste of my
overwhelming inscurity...
with past and present
and future tenses
and all that lies in between...
So i give up and in,
searching for hints
of morning orange, glowing through
the solemn shades of gray.
I shake off the nightmares,
cuddle with my teddy bear
and lie for minutes, awake,
gathering up all my strength.
Breathe in and out and prepare
to face a brand new day.