jokes [Archive] - AbsolutePunk.net

Thomas Sway

11/18/04, 10:44 AM

in keeping with the manly man thread:

So a guy walks into a bar, slaps this fucking bitch off a bar stool, then has a beer.

end of joke.

Timberwolf

11/18/04, 10:46 AM

in keeping with the manly man thread:

So a guy walks into a bar, slaps this fucking bitch off a bar stool, then has a beer.

end of joke.
one hell of a joke manly man brother.

ha ha ha

meh_indeed

11/18/04, 10:46 AM

this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. so the bartender asks him "Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?" and the pirate says:

"Yarrrr it be drivin me nuts"

towhatend

11/18/04, 10:47 AM

haha that is fuckin hillarious!

Chemical Love

11/18/04, 10:51 AM

in keeping with the manly man thread:

So a guy walks into a bar, slaps this fucking bitch off a bar stool, then has a beer.

end of joke.

haha..i laughed when i read that.

Thomas Sway

11/18/04, 10:53 AM

haha..i laughed when i read that.
That's because you have great taste. :)

mat1419

11/18/04, 10:54 AM

hey, enough flirting, i want more jokes people

Thomas Sway

11/18/04, 10:55 AM

hey, enough flirting, i want more jokes people
Oh the flirting was a joke. I actually hate him. Deeply. Passionately. Ragefully.

Die.

mat1419

11/18/04, 10:57 AM

here, i'll get the jokes back up...

what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a pile of dead babies?

you can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork

meh_indeed

11/18/04, 10:57 AM

here, i'll get the jokes back up...

what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a pile of dead babies?

you can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork

hahaha that's so terrible, yet hilarious

SonEric84

11/18/04, 10:59 AM

Why did they call Mad Cow Disease BSE?

'cause PMS was already taken!

Yeah, that wasn't funny. I saw it in someones info yesterday on AIM.

Thomas Sway

11/18/04, 11:01 AM

knock knock

who's there?

balls.

ball who?

what the fuck are you? Some type of balls owl!?

LMFOAOAOAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAAHA

towhatend

11/18/04, 11:01 AM

I didn't laugh so I guess you're right. from now on only funny or sick jokes!

Tyler Revolution

11/18/04, 11:10 AM

knock knock

who's there?

balls.

ball who?

what the fuck are you? Some type of balls owl!?

LMFOAOAOAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAAHA

Oh Sway........

AreTwoKay

11/18/04, 01:17 PM

in keeping with the manly man thread:

So a guy walks into a bar, slaps this fucking bitch off a bar stool, then has a beer.

end of joke.
omg that was some funny shit

SkaBum14

11/18/04, 01:20 PM

in keeping with the manly man thread:

So a guy walks into a bar, slaps this fucking bitch off a bar stool, then has a beer.

end of joke.

That's not even a joke. That's our way of life.

towhatend

11/18/04, 02:01 PM

now that's a good joke!

AreTwoKay

11/18/04, 11:16 PM

Ok I got one:

A guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. The first room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room.

The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire. The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has a really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde. The guy jumps at the chance and selects that room.

The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says "Okay, you can stop now you've been relieved".

prozac mnms

11/18/04, 11:25 PM

^ah, hell jokes

what do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese

meh_indeed

11/19/04, 06:01 AM

^ah, hell jokes

what do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's great, except when your eating, which i am...

SkaBum14

11/19/04, 06:53 AM

This is one I learned when I was super little, and actually told in front of my class when I was in preschool (I had no idea what it meant).

What do you call an Ethiopian that stubs his toe?

A 3-wood.

SingleDoubt

11/19/04, 07:05 AM

i have some pretty offensive jew ones... but ill hold off.

SkaBum14

11/19/04, 07:08 AM

i have some pretty offensive jew ones... but ill hold off.

Don't. In one of the other threads a bunch of other people were already telling all these super racist jokes. Nobody takes them seriously, or at least they shouldn't.

mat1419

11/19/04, 07:09 AM

i'm at work and bored again...so tell those jew jokes and like it

we all know jokes are meant to be funny and to take them as such...so don't hold back

SkaBum14

11/19/04, 07:10 AM

i'm at work and bored again...so tell those jew jokes and like it

we all know jokes are meant to be funny and to take them as such...so don't hold back

Nice. Another old, working bastard on here.

SingleDoubt

11/19/04, 07:12 AM

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

you take the pizza out of the oven!

(and another rendition)
what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

a pizza doesnt scream when you throw it in the oven!

KarolaBloch

11/19/04, 07:26 AM

two white men fell in the mudd.

meh_indeed

11/19/04, 07:34 AM

i have some pretty offensive jew ones... but ill hold off.

i have a jew joke:

why are jews noses so big?

because the air is free

SkaBum14

11/19/04, 07:49 AM

Haha. Keep 'em coming.

allelish

11/19/04, 09:40 AM

How did Hitler really die?

He had a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.

allelish

11/19/04, 09:42 AM

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstron walks on the moon................Michael Jackson fucks kids

Timberwolf

11/19/04, 09:42 AM

How did Hitler really die?

He had a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
Man...by the third page we're already on hollocaust jokes.

SkaBum14

11/19/04, 09:50 AM

Man...by the third page we're already on hollocaust jokes.

*in Louis Armstrong voice*
And I think to myselfff.........what a wonderful woorrllld

showerscene

11/19/04, 09:59 AM

Two rednecks are out hunting, and they decide to split up. One of the rednecks accidentally mistakes the other for a deer, and shots him. He runs over to his fallen friend, and sees that he's unconcious, and assumes he has died. Not knowing what to do, he calls 911 on a cell phone. He explains what happened, and the operator says, well, the first thing to do is make sure that he's dead. There is a long pause, and then the operator hears a gun being fired. The redneck gets back on the line and say, alright, now what?