untitled

[adifferentmess]

too neat
too cliched
but whaddya reckon?


you're the lies i told
you're the secrets i kept
you're the reason that i lay awake
all those nights in bed

you're the problem the wasn't solved
you're the answer never found
you're why i didn't know i fell
til i was lying on the gorund

you're the book i couldn't read
the music i struggled to hear
and the one who first took my heart
and taught me how to fear

you're the one i wished for
now the one that i regret
the boy i thought i knew
and thought i could forget.

[3ChinaPolicy]

spelt ground wrong...2nd verse. =(

[11:11]

i actually like this. clean it up a little, make it flow better, and itll be great.

[Idlewarrior]

I like it too, it is a nice piece of simplicity, but it just works pretty well. I agree with 540, clean it up, and examine what was said, the worst part of it, is that it is 100% cliche, but what isn't now a days..., ;)

[adifferentmess]

i actually like this. clean it up a little, make it flow better, and itll be great.

which bits?

[beau blood rush]

awesome! :]

[11:11]

which bits?
the last 2 lines of the 3rd stanza i didnt really like.