I need a break... (ouch, but not my heart)

[Samfo]

This is a song I've been working on for a few days, im planning for it to have a whole lot of verse, around 7 or 8. But ive only polished off a few lines so far.

Verse I

Im sick and tired of republicans,
Im sick and tired of the democrats,
im FUCKIN' tired of the media,
why dont they all just get out of Iraq!?

I'm sick and tired of music!
And im sure its sick of me,
metal, hip hop, punk and emo shit,
why dont they fuck off and leave me be?


Chorus:
I Need a break,
A break is what i want from you,
Why dont you take?
My hand.. wait ouch, You're actually leavin'?
*
*
*

Well what do you guys think!?

[lew_1987]

Personally I think it is awful. Is this a serious piece?

[Raiden]

Personally I think it is awful. Is this a serious piece?
I second that.

[Idlewarrior]

I hate to follow suit in this hand of poker, but, this is pretty bad, It sounds a lot like a punk song, just an FYI, ... if you want help on how to write better, I recommend asking questions, posting your work usually results in one of three things, flaming, praising, or being ignored

[Kyle Huntington]

Agreed with all the above comments, is this serious? Because if so, there isn't anything good about it. In fact, the same goes for if it's a joke.