Newton's first law

[to kill this]

Well, some things never change
some people are forever doomed to
remain constantly the same
like carbon copies of old bodies
that never decayed

But I refuse, I refuse to be just another number
on a giant map where God keeps track
a thumbtack in every person's back

Well some people they like
the quiet of surburbia
Where every house has its wife
and every street is littered with lights
there's no shadows and there's never any crime

But I refuse, I refuse to be just another number
on a giant map where God keeps track,
a thumbtack in every person's back

Well I am rebellious
it's always been my nature
to shake up my globe
catch all the snow on my tongue
You can't shelve me
it's not that easy
to lock me away
cause my philosophy
is not alone in any way

But I refuse, I refuse to be just another number
on a giant map where God keeps track,
a thumbtack in every person's back

No I won't, I won't stand for that.

[Idlewarrior]

It's ok, the first stanza is very good in my opinion, and the third stanza is just as amazing, but this piece gets a tad shakey as it heads to the bottom of the page. The overall idea is pretty clear too, which is a good thing, all in all, it's ok, but I think it could be better, the second fourth, and sixth stanza need a revision, or maybe not, idk, every time I read it and reread those lines, they fit and don't at the same time, I dislike the one liner ending, that's about it, keep writing! :D

[to kill this]

It's ok, the first stanza is very good in my opinion, and the third stanza is just as amazing, but this piece gets a tad shakey as it heads to the bottom of the page. The overall idea is pretty clear too, which is a good thing, all in all, it's ok, but I think it could be better, the second fourth, and sixth stanza need a revision, or maybe not, idk, every time I read it and reread those lines, they fit and don't at the same time, I dislike the one liner ending, that's about it, keep writing! :D
thanks :) it's still rough...i haven't even gotten out my guitar yet to put some melody to it so i'm sure stuff'll shift around once that happens.

[to kill this]

bump bump bump bumppp

[Twizx]

I liked it

Well some people they like
the quiet of surburbia
Where every house has its wife
and every street is littered with lights

My favorite part.

[to kill this]

I liked it



My favorite part.

thanks :)

[Brandon Allin]

Well I am rebellious
it's always been my nature
to shake up my globe
catch all the snow on my tongue

That part is clever and well-written. Good work.

[to kill this]

Well I am rebellious
it's always been my nature
to shake up my globe
catch all the snow on my tongue

That part is clever and well-written. Good work.
thanks :)

[h0merg0mez]

Pretty good stuff. My only complaint is a tired theme of rebellion. But you're clearly a good writer, and I liked this.

[to kill this]

Pretty good stuff. My only complaint is a tired theme of rebellion. But you're clearly a good writer, and I liked this.
thanks :)

[TK]

I liked the first two stanzas, but it went downhill steadily from there. And the "I refuse, I refuse" reminded me of paramore so much haha

[to kill this]

I liked the first two stanzas, but it went downhill steadily from there. And the "I refuse, I refuse" reminded me of paramore so much haha
aww man i kinda see that haha...that's gonna have to be changed now haha thanks for pointing that out

[Ryzenfall]

I liked it



My favorite part.

Seconded.