A Tongue Blackened Drunk

[Idlewarrior]

I’m told that I should go to therapy
But I have no interest in a raping
My mind is mine, if only temporarily

I’d hide nothing, I lack reason
I’ll front load any issues that ruse
Just to avoid confrontation, and the metaphorical bruise
The only thing I’d have to lose is my reputation,
But I’m no risk taker, and I’ll fake the prayers
Just to prove the sides I take are none to strangers

Maybe it’s the controversy that enthralls
The doctor labeled Psychologist
I bet they’d reinvent any disease just to keep me
Haunting my thoughts like a porn stars’ gynecologist

I’m not saying I’m crazy, but I’m far from okay
I’ll tell myself I’m fine when feeling concave
I’ll complain when working, knowing I should’ve stayed
Knowing I’d rather lay in bed all day, than be misjudged
By people, whose own meaning is as small as mine
And I’m fine, until death claims, that’s what I’ll say
That’s what I’ll say

I’ll be passed along like drugs at a party
Caught on fire, to tickle someone’s lungs
Or drunk by a girl, to become unrelenting scum
Because what I want is irrelevant to my drowning
I’m the one left floating in the toilet, destined
To explore what goes on beneath our floors
Sailing the tubes of iron to better find my way

I know it’s wrong; I should fight, and congregate
The senators to vote for a change in the system
But it’s broken, and corruption will never change

That’s why I rehearse the lines I create
So I can say to my kids that I care
I care about the way they live, and my mind is theirs
If only temporarily