Epic Fucking News

[TheSkyline]

Mrs. Sweeny Todd is NOT a fake account!!
:bounce:



How do I know this? Well I emailed her just to see what kind of response I would get.
Here's what I sent-

"Hello,

This is Calvin from Holywood Records. We saw on an online forum
"absolutepunk.com" you were making claims of knowing Miley Cyrus, who
is one of our artists. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but you
have been making false claims about things she has done. I don't know
if you realize this, but under the conditions you created, what you've
done is illegal.
I don't want to cause to much trouble, no need to sue yet or anything.
All we (Holywood Records) and Miley Cyrus are asking, is for an
apology admitting your claims were lies, and that you are not really
associated with her. If you fail to comply, legal actions will be taken.

Thank you,

Calvin Bardos"

(Notice I spelled everything wrong so I myself wouldn't get in any legal trouble. haha)

Today she emailed me back...

"I'm very sorry about it and i was banned from the site so i can not get on there anymore and i will never go on there again im sorry for what i said and as soon as my ban is no more i will tell everyone that i do not know her i promise !1!"

I was like.. no fucking way..

I just sent back a "Ok cool, thanks."



I'm really blown away... I can't believe she's real. By the way, her name's Hayley Kinas according to the email. Obviously in no way was I trying to bully her around or anything, I was just expecting a response like, "O, it was a fake account I made on that site, my bad." Or something like that...
It warms my heart to know she's real, she's out there somewhere, and hopefully someday she'll be back here at AP to make us all happy again.

[WakeUpBlondie]

Keep it up, AP :clap:

[Smash Adams]

she said her name was Lilly, fucking liar
I actually figured it all out
1. she wears disguises
2. she won't tell us her real name
3. she mysteriously vanishes for long periods of time

and now it all makes sense she is ...
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/40/ba/95769330dca03a8b8d4a2010._AA240_.L. jpg

[TheSkyline]

she said her name was Lilly, fucking liar
I actually figured it all out
1. she wears disguises
2. she won't tell us her real name
3. she mysteriously vanishes for long periods of time

and now it all makes sense she is ...
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/40/ba/95769330dca03a8b8d4a2010._AA240_.L. jpg

I knew it.

I looked up her name in the email and no one on myspace had that name. She obviously made that up too.

She probably went to Germany, not for rehab, but to report back to the country on secret US plans. Not sure what they are yet, my team will have to do further research. But she's up to something. And I'm going to find out.

First step is to get AP to un-ban her, so we can force information out of her.

[caress me down]

she said her name was Lilly, fucking liar
I actually figured it all out
1. she wears disguises
2. she won't tell us her real name
3. she mysteriously vanishes for long periods of time

and now it all makes sense she is ...
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/40/ba/95769330dca03a8b8d4a2010._AA240_.L. jpg
lololol. your assumption is most likely correct

[caress me down]

ps. good investigative work!

[ActionActionFan]

This whole thing is fake I bet.

[TheSkyline]

This whole thing is fake I bet.

I'm not fucking kidding. If there was some valid way to show an email was real, I'd do it. Give me an idea, I'll do it.

[ActionActionFan]

I'm not fucking kidding. If there was some valid way to show an email was real, I'd do it. Give me an idea, I'll do it.

Screen shot?

[.invisible ink.]

does this mean she is really the user known as Hardheaded Haley? (she was pretty disgusting if I recall correctly)

[TheSkyline]

Screen shot?

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p283/calvin333_2007/Picture5-1.png
does this mean she is really the user known as Hardheaded Haley? (she was pretty disgusting if I recall correctly)

Anything is possible. haha

[.invisible ink.]

http://www.absolutepunk.net/member.php?u=192373 hardheadhaley's profile for shits and giggles

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/1/9/2/3/7/3/m_7cbf5445e514f04399040c0ae3796b98. jpg

[TheSkyline]

Hahaha, she just emailed me again, here's what she said.

"Thankyou and by the way the banned is not lifted for 5 more years but then i will have moved on and i will no such foolish again have a good day !"

She STILL can't type a grammatically correct sentence..

[anamericangod]

Good thing we have this thread to not let her know we're on her case. She'll never suspect a thing.

[TheSkyline]

Good thing we have this thread to not let her know we're on her case. She'll never suspect a thing.

I doubt she gets on here anymore, especially after I emailed her. I scared her pretty bad. haha

[anamericangod]

I doubt she gets on here anymore, especially after I emailed her. I scared her pretty bad. haha

Thanks for crushing my hopes and dreams.

[TheSkyline]

Thanks for crushing my hopes and dreams.

I suppose I could email her and tell her to make another account and stuff... that would be awesome. no?

[anamericangod]

I suppose I could email her and tell her to make another account and stuff... that would be awesome. no?

It just wouldn't be the same.

[TheSkyline]

It just wouldn't be the same.

I could tell her to make a similar username.. how would it not be the same? Her amazingness would be back, even if it was under a different account.

[atticus1492]

Young trolls fucking blow.

[amysaurus]

HAHAHAHA what?? She's real? I don't fucking believe it.

[4N6 science]

I miss her and all the stories about how many drugs shes done and whatever else she could make up.

[new_arbiter]

I could tell her to make a similar username.. how would it not be the same? Her amazingness would be back, even if it was under a different account.

Eh, the magic would be lost.

[JimGray]

Nah, I would liike her back.

[thesafeword]

Great fuckface, you scared her away from AP.

[swt_catastrophe]

oh god.

[fadedmemories]

Good thing we have this thread to not let her know we're on her case. She'll never suspect a thing.
Agreed

[kaycey]

Nah, I would liike her back.
tell her your sorry.

[TheSkyline]

HAHAHAHA what?? She's real? I don't fucking believe it.

Haha, I thought the same thing. It blew my mind.
Nah, I would liike her back.

Seriously, it would be awesome to have her back.
Great fuckface, you scared her away from AP.

Yeah, but I could probably scare her into coming back onto this site again. haha

[xBITCHxPLEASEx]

I <3 trolls. :D

[thespearkid]

I'm pretty sure the five year ban had a little more to do with her leaving than her getting scared off.

[pilot_light_out]

Kevin Spacey turns out not to be retarded

[Chris Fallon]

:santa:

[thespearkid]

:santa:
Unban? Unban?

[Chris Fallon]

Unban? Unban?
Ask Santa nicely come November

[tomakebelieve]

she said her name was Lilly, fucking liar
I actually figured it all out
1. she wears disguises
2. she won't tell us her real name
3. she mysteriously vanishes for long periods of time

and now it all makes sense she is ...
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/40/ba/95769330dca03a8b8d4a2010._AA240_.L. jpg

I love that movie.

[Neo Cassady]

Hahaha, she just emailed me again, here's what she said.

"Thankyou and by the way the banned is not lifted for 5 more years but then i will have moved on and i will no such foolish again have a good day !"

She STILL can't type a grammatically correct sentence..

:rotfl:

[kevinmaistros]

Hilarious.

[Chris Fallon]

Hahaha, she just emailed me again, here's what she said.

"Thankyou and by the way the banned is not lifted for 5 more years but then i will have moved on and i will no such foolish again have a good day !"

She STILL can't type a grammatically correct sentence..
We don't even have 5-year bans hahaha

[Renee]

Would an email from a record company have typos?

Edit: Why didn't I notice this had more than 15 answers?, incase that's ^ been pointed out.

[Chris Fallon]

Would an email from a record company have typos?

Edit: Why didn't I notice this had more than 15 answers?, incase that's ^ been pointed out.
He did that intentionally for legal reasons - and besides, like MST is smart enough to notice that when she can't type herself hahaha

[Renee]

He did that intentionally for legal reasons - and besides, like MST is smart enough to notice that when she can't type herself hahaha
I just reread the first post, and what I thought had happened, actually didn't. So, I get it now.

[kevinmaistros]

You would be surprised how many people that work at record labels have a spelling skill that equates to a spoon.

[eHaMpToN]

Absolutepunk.com
Absolutepunk.com
Absolutepunk.com
.com

[Thug_Nasty]

whatd she get banned for?

[kaycey]

take your pick:

bitch can't write / bitch doesn't know grammar / bitch makes stupid threads / bitch is fat / bitch uses colorful font / bitch is too bitchy / some other bitch related reason

[TheSkyline]

We don't even have 5-year bans hahaha

Hahaha.
He did that intentionally for legal reasons - and besides, like MST is smart enough to notice that when she can't type herself hahaha

Haha, exactly.

[fadedmemories]

take your pick:

bitch can't write / bitch doesn't know grammar / bitch makes stupid threads / bitch is fat / bitch uses colorful font / bitch is too bitchy / some other bitch related reason
:-d

[thesafeword]

I want my whore back.

[TheSkyline]

I want my whore back.

Well, she may be unbanned in November..

Or I could email her and make her make another account..

The choice is yours. The destiny of the Personal Life forum lies in your hands.

[timbedinosaur]

funny

[fulltiltxb00gie]

:santa:
i'm so proud of myself for planting that little seed of an idea.

[intensified]

she said her name was Lilly, fucking liar
I actually figured it all out
1. she wears disguises
2. she won't tell us her real name
3. she mysteriously vanishes for long periods of time

and now it all makes sense she is ...
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/40/ba/95769330dca03a8b8d4a2010._AA240_.L. jpg

I just watched that movie like two days ago. Crazy.

[DaveZeroZero]

how did you get her email address?

[TheSkyline]

how did you get her email address?

Look on her user profile. It says it on there, I'm surprised out of the time she was on here, no one saw that. haha

[DaveZeroZero]

Look on her user profile. It says it on there, I'm surprised out of the time she was on here, no one saw that. haha
well, we're all ignorant =]

[TheSkyline]

well, we're all ignorant =]

Haha, apparently. I think everyone should email her and ask her to come back.

[DaveZeroZero]

Haha, apparently. I think everyone should email her and ask her to come back.
email gang rape!

[TheSkyline]

email gang rape!

I hear 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.

[ReadyForAction]

http://www.absolutepunk.net/member.php?u=192373 hardheadhaley's profile for shits and giggles


The highlight of her profile is abbreviating Bullet For My Valentine then spelling it out

[DaveZeroZero]

I hear 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.
We obviously have similar sources.

I certainly know that I enjoy it!

[TheSkyline]

We obviously have similar sources.

I certainly know that I enjoy it!

As do I!

I got my info from davesfakesexualfacts.com

[DaveZeroZero]

As do I!

I got my info from davesfakesexualfacts.com
It's a fantastic website, to be sure.

[TheSkyline]

It's a fantastic website, to be sure.

Yup, I found it intriguing that 2 out of 3 people die from having sex the first time.

[DaveZeroZero]

Yup, I found it intriguing that 2 out of 3 people die from having sex the first time.
so, really, girls are just protecting me by not having sex with me! It all makes so much sense now!

[screamoutmyname]

lol

[TheSkyline]

so, really, girls are just protecting me by not having sex with me! It all makes so much sense now!

Keep telling yourself that, Dave.

Hahaha, jk

[mynameisX]

so, really, girls are just protecting me by not having sex with me! It all makes so much sense now!

Yeah, Dave, we're all looking out for you.

[DaveZeroZero]

Yeah, Dave, we're all looking out for you.
Aww, you guys! :-)

[thesafeword]

Yeah, Dave, we're all looking out for you.
Just don't be looking out for me, I'll take my chances.

[mynameisX]

Just don't be looking out for me, I'll take my chances.

Living dangerously, I see....

[SLoT]

Young trolls fucking blow.

haha. true.

[scmaley]

haha. true.

You know you like them young.

[SLoT]

You know you like them young.

My life has been empty without you.

[scmaley]

My life has been empty without you.

Just as mine has been without you!

[heyzombiehitler]

Balls on your chin.

[deathbatgurl]

she's fucking awesome. i email her 2. her name's actually lily, and she's getting back on ap soon. she's not fake, she's real. i can't wait 2 her more of her music!

[argg_xo]

she's fucking awesome. i email her 2. her name's actually lily, and she's getting back on ap soon. she's not fake, she's real. i can't wait 2 her more of her music!
OMG!! are you serious?! will she be back as mrs. sweeney todd or will she be posting under a new name?

[HelpMeSleep]

Yup, I found it intriguing that 2 out of 3 people die from having sex the first time.
so, really, girls are just protecting me by not having sex with me! It all makes so much sense now!
actually I was going to go to London over thanksgiving but I decided not to for this reason. thought I might be tempted if I were in the same place as Dave and cherry poptarts and I didn't want to risk it.

[HelpMeSleep]

she's fucking awesome. i email her 2. her name's actually lily, and she's getting back on ap soon. she's not fake, she's real. i can't wait 2 her more of her music!
what did you say to her?

[deathbatgurl]

what did you say to her?
idk, just talking about music and stuff.
she says she broke her leg or something so she had cancel some tour dates, but that was a little bit ago.
but she's my friend

[deathbatgurl]

OMG!! are you serious?! will she be back as mrs. sweeney todd or will she be posting under a new name?
idk

[argg_xo]

idk
are YOU really mrs sweeney todd?!

[HelpMeSleep]

idk, just talking about music and stuff.
she says she broke her leg or something so she had cancel some tour dates, but that was a little bit ago.
but she's my friend
hmm interesting. poor MST with her broken leg!

are YOU really mrs sweeney todd?!
dun dun dun... cliffhanger!

[argg_xo]

hmm interesting. poor MST with her broken leg!


dun dun dun... cliffhanger!
i wish MST was still here to tell us about her broken leg! and kinda shady that she dodged my question!!

[HelpMeSleep]

i wish MST was still here to tell us about her broken leg! and kinda shady that she dodged my question!!
that is quite sketch! and yes, I wish she was too! I wonder if she got a sweet cast! I've always wanted a cast. I'm telling C Fal I want MST for my birthday.

[argg_xo]

that is quite sketch! and yes, I wish she was too! I wonder if she got a sweet cast! I've always wanted a cast. I'm telling C Fal I want MST for my birthday.
we could tell MST that we want her back so we can sign her cast!! i hope C.Fal brings her back!!

[HelpMeSleep]

we could tell MST that we want her back so we can sign her cast!! i hope C.Fal brings her back!!
yes!! I want to sign her cast!! Chris and I are homies. I'll get him to do it. it's my new mission in AP life.

[argg_xo]

yes!! I want to sign her cast!! Chris and I are homies. I'll get him to do it. it's my new mission in AP life.
awesome!!! i want to help with the mission!

[HelpMeSleep]

awesome!!! i want to help with the mission!
excellent! commence begging of C. Fal!!

[argg_xo]

excellent! commence begging of C. Fal!!
we should totally start a petition/thread for bringing her back.

[HelpMeSleep]

we should totally start a petition/thread for bringing her back.
YES!! let's do it!! would you like to do the honors??

[argg_xo]

YES!! let's do it!! would you like to do the honors??
i'm nervous! lol. i've never started my very own thread, what should we say?

[lovely864md]

Ask Santa nicely come November

Did Christmas get moved to November? Is it infringing on my birthday???

(:wave:)

[HelpMeSleep]

i'm nervous! lol. i've never started my very own thread, what should we say?
haha that's why I thought you should get to do it! so you'd have a thread of your own, and an epic winning one at that. :-)

hmmm.. we can just call it petition to bring MST back. or oh, she's just being MST lol. or I dunno something haha.

[argg_xo]

haha that's why I thought you should get to do it! so you'd have a thread of your own, and an epic winning one at that. :-)

hmmm.. we can just call it petition to bring MST back. or oh, she's just being MST lol. or I dunno something haha.
haha okay, give me a few minutes!

[HelpMeSleep]

haha okay, give me a few minutes!
haha yay! I'm excited! :-d

[argg_xo]

it's up!!!!!!!!!!

[HelpMeSleep]

WHOOOOOO YEAH!! :celebrate:

[Chris Fallon]

Did Christmas get moved to November? Is it infringing on my birthday???

(:wave:)
Mmmmmmaybe. If I'm feeling kinda spunky.


I've missed you

[anamericangod]

You know you like them young.

You say it like it's a bad thing.

[lovely864md]

Mmmmmmaybe. If I'm feeling kinda spunky.


I've missed you

I've had a window open to reply to your PM for like 3 days now and I keep not having time to write it. But I will!

I've missed you more. Let's fight about it.

[scmaley]

You say it like it's a bad thing.

I just like to give him a hard time.

[anamericangod]

I just like to give him a hard time.

I'd like to give you a hard time.

[Mrs.Sweeny Todd]

Im Back

[makeshiftmind]

I just like to give him a hard time.

I'd like to give you a hard time.
hahahahahhaha

[piglet]

Someone give me a run-down. I seem to have missed something epic.

[BryterJonah]

Someone give me a run-down. I seem to have missed something epic.
1. OP makes thread
2. Posters read thread starter
3. ???
4. Profit!

[piglet]

I get that much sparky, but give me a synopsis.

[scmaley]

hahahahahhaha

Old.

[makeshiftmind]

Old.
ha yeah just something about it, and the fact it was the last post in the thread made me laugh really hard. haha everything seems funnier when I'm really tired

[LaDiabla]

Ms Sweeny Todd = Zion The Lion?

[omgrawr]

im so confused

[HelpMeSleep]

Ms Sweeny Todd = Zion The Lion?
MST was long before zion the lion's time.

[LaDiabla]

MST was long before zion the lion's time.

Oh i know, she was one of my first AP friends (lol, she added me)

I just thought both of them posting about their lame lifes ya know..

[Smash Adams]

Oh i know, she was one of my first AP friends (lol, she added me)

I just thought both of them posting about their lame lifes ya know..
Being bff with Hannah Montana is not lame Hortensia, in fact it's the opposite of lame, it's amazing
Someone's jealous that they're only friends with Oliver, nope not even Oliver you're friends with Rico

[Indoor Living]

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p283/calvin333_2007/Picture5-1.png


Anything is possible. haha
I'm confused. Is your "fake email" name Calvin Lauber, or Calvin Bardos? I really hope this was an accident. Haha.

[LaDiabla]

Being bff with Hannah Montana is not lame Hortensia, in fact it's the opposite of lame, it's amazing
Someone's jealous that they're only friends with Oliver, nope not even Oliver you're friends with Rico

wuuuut?

[samsara]

How did I miss this?

[Smash Adams]

wuuuut?
You don't watch Hannah Montana? I have some splaining to do now don't I

[LaDiabla]

You don't watch Hannah Montana? I have some splaining to do now don't I

You have indeed.

[Smash Adams]

You have indeed.
I have a little sister, it's all her fault, though she's more into the hills and gossip girl now

[LaDiabla]

I have a little sister, it's all her fault, though she's more into the hills and gossip girl now

Good for her. Those are some quality programs after all.

[thespearkid]

hey, ian.

[DaveZeroZero]

Good for her. Those are some quality programs after all.
That's because they're not on PBS.

[Nourez]

Haha. Figuring out that she's real, her name, general creepy stalking? Haha, I can see this forum becoming /b/ in the near future. :-p

[AndrewIcex]

She must be a winner.

[DaveZeroZero]

Haha. Figuring out that she's real, her name, general creepy stalking? Haha, I can see this forum becoming /b/ in the near future. :-p
It had its chance. It's moved largely away from that now.

[danielineffigy]

Did it ever occur to you that someone who frequently uses AP or any troll in general with the tiniest bit of common sense would, you know, recognize that your email was fake? Just throwing the possibility out there that this email was all part of the act.

[BrennanHickson]

Absolutepunk.com

[DaveZeroZero]

Absolutepunk.org

[Mrs.Sweeny Todd]

i am back again all my rapists and rapers

[Sean Rizzo]

i am back again all my rapists and rapers
sweezy > you

[Mrs.Sweeny Todd]

sweezy > you

thankyou

[Sean Rizzo]

thankyou
You're welcome.

[TheJimmiDonna]

funny shit