Dude coming out as Bi

[decisionpending]

Alright, so it's really easy when I am practically anonymous on this site. But I have been lurking this forum for a long period of time and the people who post here regularly (even jokingly) I have some form of internet respect for. So here are the questions:

a) Should I tell my friends that I am bi if they don't ask explicitly?
b) If I do tell, should I tell the guys how I meet other guys (which, to a straight guy, could be embarrassing)?
c) Is this going to affect my future job as a teacher?
d) Do my parents need to know?

[bigblue2015]

a) If you feel like you're holding back from being yourself around them because they don't know, then yes, tell them. If you feel like it won't really matter though, it's your decision.
b) Probably not, unless they ask you about it, you should keep that stuff to yourself. I'm sure your girl friends would enjoy hearing about it though.
c) No, it shouldn't.
d) Depends on what kind of relationship you have with them. Are you usually open with them about things? They will probably be accepting either way, because they're your parents.



Hope that helps.

[pilot_light_out]

a) if you want to
b) if you want to
c) it shouldnt since their are many anti-discrimination laws out there to protect you
d) it would probably be good for them to know incase you bring a dude home.
e) good luck with anal

[bigblue2015]

a) if you want to
b) if you want to
c) it shouldnt since their are many anti-discrimination laws out there to protect you
d) it would probably be good for them to know incase you bring a dude home.
e) good luck with anal

Haha I was gonna add anal but I thought it would discredit the first piece of actual advice I've ever given on this site.

[pilot_light_out]

Haha I was gonna add anal but I thought it would discredit the first piece of actual advice I've ever given on this site.

advice on AP is supposed to be discredited by Anal

[bigblue2015]

advice on AP is supposed to be discredited by Anal

Truth.

[decisionpending]

Cheers for your assistance man. The following is my response (sorry, been writing essays all week, can't drop out of 'academic' style at the moment):

a) I guess it's just regarding talking about sex with my mates. Which they may not want to hear if I am all like "So, the other night, with this dude..." But apart from that, I am still me and I understand that being oneself to friends is integral... so it's a fine line to walk upon...
b) Haha... true.
c)Hopefully.
d) True, especially as my aunt and my cousin are both gay, but what I meant to ask is: Should I tell my folks despite it, to me, not being a big deal in regards to how I continue to live my life?

Thanks for answering, dude. I would hope that more people will respond despite their sexuality.

[decisionpending]

Haha, anal.

P.S. dunno what anal is like with chicks, but vagina beats anal anyday, imo.

[Epidemic*]

Haha, anal.

P.S. dunno what anal is like with chicks, but vagina beats anal anyday, imo.

False, you are so far away from the truth.

[decisionpending]

False, you are so far away from the truth.

How can a subjective comment be false?

Oh wait, that's right, it's the internet.

[bigblue2015]

Cheers for your assistance man. The following is my response (sorry, been writing essays all week, can't drop out of 'academic' style at the moment):

a) I guess it's just regarding talking about sex with my mates. Which they may not want to hear if I am all like "So, the other night, with this dude..." But apart from that, I am still me and I understand that being oneself to friends is integral... so it's a fine line to walk upon...
b) Haha... true.
c)Hopefully.
d) True, especially as my aunt and my cousin are both gay, but what I meant to ask is: Should I tell my folks despite it, to me, not being a big deal in regards to how I continue to live my life?

Thanks for answering, dude. I would hope that more people will respond despite their sexuality.


The thing is, if your friends respect you and are not complete homophobes, then they won't really mind you talking to them about stuff like that. The reason why I say this is because just this past week one of my good friends that I've known for a long time came out of the closet, and I actually respect him more for it. And I don't feel uncomfortable at all with him talking about other dudes around me. I have a bunch of gay friends and stuff like that never really bothered me though.

[decisionpending]

The thing is, if your friends respect you and are not complete homophobes, then they won't really mind you talking to them about stuff like that. The reason why I say this is because just this past week one of my good friends that I've known for a long time came out of the closet, and I actually respect him more for it. And I don't feel uncomfortable at all with him talking about other dudes around me. I have a bunch of gay friends and stuff like that never really bothered me though.

See, I can really understand your standpoint on this as my bestmate/housemate has a gay brother and all that. But it's more this, which I guess you sorta answered: do straight mates of gay/bi guys ever think that their mate thinks of them in THAT way?!? Cos, I must admit that some friends of mine I have been attracted to, and I don't want that sorta aspect of things to fuck things up. And these are just the easy situations, lol!

[The Boathouse]

http://www.wikitruth.info/images/thumb/f/f4/Brian_Peppers_pic.JPG/200px-Brian_Peppers_pic.JPG

[decisionpending]

http://www.wikitruth.info/images/thumb/f/f4/Brian_Peppers_pic.JPG/200px-Brian_Peppers_pic.JPG

I think some redonkulous karma is waiting for me after laughing at that.

[bigblue2015]

See, I can really understand your standpoint on this as my bestmate/housemate has a gay brother and all that. But it's more this, which I guess you sorta answered: do straight mates of gay/bi guys ever think that their mate thinks of them in THAT way?!? Cos, I must admit that some friends of mine I have been attracted to, and I don't want that sorta aspect of things to fuck things up. And these are just the easy situations, lol!

Nah, I don't think your friends will think that. I know that since my friend came out I don't constantly think that he's trying to hit on me every time we hang out. But I know that some guys have huge egos and assume that every gay guy wants to fuck them, and probably every woman too for that matter, so I can't speak for everyone.

[decisionpending]

Nah, I don't think your friends will think that. I know that since my friend came out I don't constantly think that he's trying to hit on me every time we hang out. But I know that some guys have huge egos and assume that every gay guy wants to fuck them, and probably every woman too for that matter, so I can't speak for everyone.

Yeah, true. I guess.
I dunno anymore but that's due to a whole of shit which I haven't even mentioned.

Thanks for your expertise, man... I still have a lot to think about but some things are clarified now, cheers.

[thespearkid]

Just start sucking your friends' cocks. Then, they'll know what's up.

Sorry. This thread was just way too serious.

[decisionpending]

Just start sucking your friends' cocks. Then, they'll know what's up.

Sorry. This thread was just way too serious.

This is true, lol. The problem is I have made friends with a with alot of dudes with small cocks. Therefore, I don't wanna go near the fuckin losers. Apparently footy players have a lot to compensate for.

[decisionpending]

Wow, apparently dry humour does not translate (to page/across pacific) at all.

[DaveZeroZero]

The most tactful way to do it is to be talking to a guy whom you find attractive and, just as you're about to break the fact that you like him to him, squeeze some girl's tits and really enjoy it, just to point out that you're not really gay, but rather expanding your horizons.

You could also tell people that you want to receive anal sex without having to come out as straight-up gay or going to prison.

[brandnew=love]

The most tactful way to do it is to be talking to a guy whom you find attractive and, just as you're about to break the fact that you like him to him, squeeze some girl's tits and really enjoy it, just to point out that you're not really gay, but rather expanding your horizons.

You could also tell people that you want to receive anal sex without having to come out as straight-up gay or going to prison.
Dave you have the most beautiful eyes... just thought you'd like to know ;-)

[decisionpending]

The most tactful way to do it is to be talking to a guy whom you find attractive and, just as you're about to break the fact that you like him to him, squeeze some girl's tits and really enjoy it, just to point out that you're not really gay, but rather expanding your horizons.

You could also tell people that you want to receive anal sex without having to come out as straight-up gay or going to prison.

Aaaahahahaha... You don't know how many times I have grabbed a chick's tits just because I wanted to accidentally a dude's dick in the same conversation, lol... sorry if that's TMI.

Just have to point out that just because one likes people of the same sex, doesn't mean that they want to "receive" anal sex. Or that it's illegal in this country. But it all doesn't really matter when being funny is the point.

[DaveZeroZero]

Dave you have the most beautiful eyes... just thought you'd like to know ;-)
I do like to know =] haha

Aaaahahahaha... You don't know how many times I have grabbed a chick's tits just because I wanted to accidentally a dude's dick in the same conversation, lol... sorry if that's TMI.

Just have to point out that just because one likes people of the same sex, doesn't mean that they want to "receive" anal sex. Or that it's illegal in this country. But it all doesn't really matter when being funny is the point.
when I mentioned being in prison and anal sex as being related, I meant that you'd probably end up being someone's bitch in prison and would thus have to take it.

"I accidentally a dude's dick"
"you accidentally what?"
"a dude's dick."
"no, what did you do?"
"I accidentally a dude's dick."

[decisionpending]

I do like to know =] haha


when I mentioned being in prison and anal sex as being related, I meant that you'd probably end up being someone's bitch in prison and would thus have to take it.

"I accidentally a dude's dick"
"you accidentally what?"
"a dude's dick."
"no, what did you do?"
"I accidentally a dude's dick."

"no wait, i think you're missing a verb. say what happened again."
"i accidentally a dude's dick."
"wait, what?"

haha, thank the almighty spaghetti monster that i aint got nuthin to go to prison over cos i'm a pitcher not a catcher.

[DaveZeroZero]

"no wait, i think you're missing a verb. say what happened again."
"i accidentally a dude's dick."
"wait, what?"

haha, thank the almighty spaghetti monster that i aint got nuthin to go to prison over cos i'm a pitcher not a catcher.
if you're a pitcher, then welcome to the PL - anal is the be-all and end-all here.

[mattmatumbo]

I live in utah, and i've had legit out-of-the-closet lesbian and gay teachers all through my school years. I'm pretty sure wherever you are you're safe on that one.

[brandnew=love]

I do like to know =] haha
hahaha


I think if you were gay you'd be a bear... you look alittle too stong to be a twink or a power bottom.

[swt_catastrophe]

This is true, lol. The problem is I have made friends with a with alot of dudes with small cocks. Therefore, I don't wanna go near the fuckin losers. Apparently footy players have a lot to compensate for.
hahah. i lol'd
Dave you have the most beautiful eyes... just thought you'd like to know ;-)
knew it.
I do like to know =] haha


when I mentioned being in prison and anal sex as being related, I meant that you'd probably end up being someone's bitch in prison and would thus have to take it.

"I accidentally a dude's dick"
"you accidentally what?"
"a dude's dick."
"no, what did you do?"
"I accidentally a dude's dick."
WIN.
hahaha


I think if you were gay you'd be a bear... you look alittle too stong to be a twink or a power bottom.
not helping your case.

[decisionpending]

hahaha


I think if you were gay you'd be a bear... you look alittle too stong to be a twink or a power bottom.

"Or you could be a power bottom..." I lol'd... I need to see new Philly.

[DaveZeroZero]

hahaha


I think if you were gay you'd be a bear... you look alittle too stong to be a twink or a power bottom.
wait, what do those terms mean?

[swt_catastrophe]

wait, what do those terms mean?
exactly.

[4N6 science]

Don't be ashamed to tell anyone. If they don't understand they're not you're real friends. As for a job and your future your sexual orientation shouldn't matter at all.

[decisionpending]

wait, what do those terms mean?

wait, the description isn't my responsibility, is it?

[DaveZeroZero]

wait, the description isn't my responsibility, is it?
no, it's Erik's because he brought them up haha

[decisionpending]

ahahaha wtf. i would probably steer clear of giving your friends details about your male encounters. it will most definitely make them feel awkward and uneasy around you.

haha, you know what i mean about dudes just talking about what they get up to in bedroom and would it make my mates not want to talk naturally in cased i join in, or would it make them change their behaviour to make sure i am included... cos either way is over the top and i can see some of mates going that far, maybe in a worst possible situation.

[decisionpending]

Don't be ashamed to tell anyone. If they don't understand they're not you're real friends. As for a job and your future your sexual orientation shouldn't matter at all.

i am not giving enough attention to the real responses. Thanks for your opinion man, but I think that it is much more complex than simply "if they don't understand they aren't your mates." This also about secrets, and hiding a major part of my "personality" in their possible opinion.

[decisionpending]

no, it's Erik's because he brought them up haha

Oh, sweet, cos a demo is really necessary...

[brandnew=love]

"Or you could be a power bottom..." I lol'd... I need to see new Philly.
lol you really need to.
wait, what do those terms mean?
okay a bear is big and tuff and kinda hairy,
a twink is small and slender...
and many people think a power bottom is a bottom that can recieve a lot of power... but a power bottom actually generates the power by doing the work... now size and strengh are are issues but speed is the main issue because the speed of the bottom informs the top of how much pressure he needs to apply.

[morgz]

haha, you know what i mean about dudes just talking about what they get up to in bedroom and would it make my mates not want to talk naturally in cased i join in, or would it make them change their behaviour to make sure i am included... cos either way is over the top and i can see some of mates going that far, maybe in a worst possible situation.

wellll. they most likely don't want to hear about you and another guy so i think you're fucked either way.

[decisionpending]

lol you really need to.

okay a bear is big and tuff and kinda hairy,
a twink is small and slender...
and many people think a power bottom is a bottom that can recieve a lot of power... but a power bottom actually generates the power by doing the work... now size and strengh are are issues but speed is the main issue because the speed of the bottom informs the top of how much pressure he needs to apply.

:clap:

it's not often i literally lol... thank you!

[DaveZeroZero]

lol you really need to.

okay a bear is big and tuff and kinda hairy,
a twink is small and slender...
and many people think a power bottom is a bottom that can recieve a lot of power... but a power bottom actually generates the power by doing the work... now size and strengh are are issues but speed is the main issue because the speed of the bottom informs the top of how much pressure he needs to apply.
i'm not really tough haha

[decisionpending]

wellll. they most likely don't want to hear about you and another guy so i think you're fucked either way.

I guess, if I wasn't lying about who I am, then this would be the best possible situation but... sigh, whatever. Something is gonna have to give, and some of the replies have really made me think about the consequences of saying all this... it's a much bigger deal, maybe, than i give it credit for.

[brandnew=love]

:clap:

it's not often i literally lol... thank you!
lol glad I could help... you need to watch more Sunny.
i'm not really tough haha
well you wouldn't be a twink... I'm not sure what you'd be...

[DaveZeroZero]

lol glad I could help... you need to watch more Sunny.

well you wouldn't be a twink... I'm not sure what you'd be...
I'd be straight, that's what I'd be =]

[morgz]

I guess, if I wasn't lying about who I am, then this would be the best possible situation but... sigh, whatever. Something is gonna have to give, and some of the replies have really made me think about the consequences of saying all this... it's a much bigger deal, maybe, than i give it credit for.

if your friends are good friends you should be fine. if they're the shitty kind, such as mine, then you're fucked

[decisionpending]

I'd be straight, that's what I'd be =]

Well played, sir.

[brandnew=love]

I'd be straight, that's what I'd be =]
haha well you could be a power bottom?

[decisionpending]

if your friends are good friends you should be fine. if they're the shitty kind, such as mine, then you're fucked

You know, I've stated earlier that my best mate has a gay bro, and my dad has a gay sis + nephew. I mean, understanding, for me, isn't the problem. It's more about changing the relation that I have with these people, which will happen, almost, no matter what if i state the facts, you know?

[decisionpending]

haha well you could be a power bottom?

Wait, no, if he is straight, then couldn't be a pwrbtm... cos that implies takin it!

[brandnew=love]

Wait, no, if he is straight, then couldn't be a pwrbtm... cos that implies takin it!
that's true... oh and sorry I kinda ruined your thread talking about this haha...

[DaveZeroZero]

Well played, sir.
:bow:

haha well you could be a power bottom?
I don't play baseball =]

[samsara]

lol you really need to.

okay a bear is big and tuff and kinda hairy,
a twink is small and slender...
and many people think a power bottom is a bottom that can recieve a lot of power... but a power bottom actually generates the power by doing the work... now size and strengh are are issues but speed is the main issue because the speed of the bottom informs the top of how much pressure he needs to apply.


wow i was just educated

thank you interweb

[decisionpending]

Dude, hilarity is encouraged in anything that I participate in... so thank you for turning this dour, yet informative, thread into some form of awesomeness (if, indeed, talking about power-bottoming can be considered a form of awesomeness).

[brandnew=love]

wow i was just educated

thank you interweb
hahaha glad you learned something.
Dude, hilarity is encouraged in anything that I participate in... so thank you for turning this dour, yet informative, thread into some form of awesomeness (if, indeed, talking about power-bottoming can be considered a form of awesomeness).
hahaha to me power-bottoming isn't awesome... but thanks! and umm... good luck with everything?

[decisionpending]

hahaha glad you learned something.

hahaha to me power-bottoming isn't awesome... but thanks! and umm... good luck with everything?

Well, I wasn't referring to content manner as much as how we got to that point... aw, shit, hilarious... anyway, cheers, hopefully there will more responses on which hilarious must be added, so, uh, come back anytime, lol.

[samsara]

good luck with coming out as bi

people, if they are true friends should accept you for you

ultimately you should do it when you think the time is right

[decisionpending]

good luck with coming out as bi

people, if they are true friends should accept you for you

ultimately you should do it when you think the time is right

This is sorta what I was expecting, and it's nice to hear. Cheers, and I'm glad that this thread could inform you on power bottoming.

On related note, watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, an entirely non-gay, hilarious show, lol.

[samsara]

This is sorta what I was expecting, and it's nice to hear. Cheers, and I'm glad that this thread could inform you on power bottoming.

On related note, watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, an entirely non-gay, hilarious show, lol.


well thank you...

ive never watched it but it seems like a funny show

[brandnew=love]

This is sorta what I was expecting, and it's nice to hear. Cheers, and I'm glad that this thread could inform you on power bottoming.

On related note, watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, an entirely non-gay, hilarious show, lol.
agreed lol... the new ones were pretty funny... thank god I have them on DVD.

[JimGray]

If you are a good friend, you will be honest with them, not the other way around, if they don't like it, fuck em. Not literally tho, just y'know.

[4N6 science]

i am not giving enough attention to the real responses. Thanks for your opinion man, but I think that it is much more complex than simply "if they don't understand they aren't your mates." This also about secrets, and hiding a major part of my "personality" in their possible opinion.


Yeah I know I oversimplified. Have you tried talking to an adult you trust besides parents? I'm not really sure what to tell you since I haven't faced a situation like this one.

[decisionpending]

If you are a good friend, you will be honest with them, not the other way around, if they don't like it, fuck em. Not literally tho, just y'know.

Not literally... awww, dammit, lol.


But seriously, it is a poignant point you make. My best mates are missing a part of my life... even if it's just reminding me to take protection whenever I meet up. I dunno anyone....

This was meant to help, not confuse, the situation~!!!!

[JimGray]

Not literally... awww, dammit, lol.


But seriously, it is a poignant point you make. My best mates are missing a part of my life... even if it's just reminding me to take protection whenever I meet up. I dunno anyone....

This was meant to help, not confuse, the situation~!!!!

Haha, not trying to confuse the situation broski, just tryin to help you out.

[decisionpending]

Yeah I know I oversimplified. Have you tried talking to an adult you trust besides parents? I'm not really sure what to tell you since I haven't faced a situation like this one.

I tried a psych (for reasons somewhat related) but that didnt work as I really didnt feel comfortable in that situation. The only other adults I know are tutors and the such and I think this goes past their jurisdiction. It's a good idea but, fuck... when you've been hiding a ALOT of things for this amount of time, then truth is hard to obtain.... it's a stupid, difficult situation and i know that a lot of people wouldn't know exactly the conflictions (not even a word) occurring.

I guess I made this thread for an easy way out.... but it aint gonna happen!

[samsara]

maybe you can try asking one of your relatives that have been in the same situation for some advice

just a suggestion

[decisionpending]

Haha, not trying to confuse the situation broski, just tryin to help you out.

Dude, I just add hilarity in my responses for lulz down the track! But seriously, I totally understand that point that you made a couple of posts ago and it really makes sense. If I worried about how they will respond to something I have been hiding, then I should expect these same worries from my mates.... fuck, life is difficult

[decisionpending]

maybe you can try asking one of your relatives that have been in the same situation for some advice

just a suggestion

This is a great suggestion. But just to rule this out in complete truthfulness.... (wow, this is going to sound so fake)..... my gay aunt is in prison, and her son (my gay cousin) is in London pursuing an acting/modelling career...yep. Essentially, this is why I come to y'all.

[samsara]

wow that sucks ummmm

yeah im out of ideas...:)

[decisionpending]

haha... i just am lookin for a lil net-acceptance before i tell my mates.... family is a long way away from telling. Most importantly, I guess, is that my mates will stop pushing me into random girls' arms... cos, that can just be weird if i ain't attracted to her.

[samsara]

yeah maybe telling them would be good, if they are your friends they will except you and let you make your own decisions about who you want to be with

[Fallinto_rhythm]

a) if you want to
b) if you want to
c) it shouldnt since their are many anti-discrimination laws out there to protect you
d) it would probably be good for them to know incase you bring a dude home.
e) good luck with anal

this is the first time I slightly even laughed at the response anal, cause it's relevant for once.

[marchofmarty]

False, you are so far away from the truth.

Have you ever actually had anal sex with a girl before

[4N6 science]

I tried a psych (for reasons somewhat related) but that didnt work as I really didnt feel comfortable in that situation. The only other adults I know are tutors and the such and I think this goes past their jurisdiction. It's a good idea but, fuck... when you've been hiding a ALOT of things for this amount of time, then truth is hard to obtain.... it's a stupid, difficult situation and i know that a lot of people wouldn't know exactly the conflictions (not even a word) occurring.

I guess I made this thread for an easy way out.... but it aint gonna happen!

I mean I can understand all the secrets we hold inside. I wish you luck and hope everything turns out for the best.

[spansen]

Alright, so it's really easy when I am practically anonymous on this site. But I have been lurking this forum for a long period of time and the people who post here regularly (even jokingly) I have some form of internet respect for. So here are the questions:

a) Should I tell my friends that I am bi if they don't ask explicitly?
b) If I do tell, should I tell the guys how I meet other guys (which, to a straight guy, could be embarrassing)?
c) Is this going to affect my future job as a teacher?
d) Do my parents need to know?

If you feel the need to, to be honest with them. Yeah. Don't stress out about it. If you're really friends it won't matter.

Nope. There isn't a need for it.

It shouldn't.

They'll find out one way or another, so tell them and be honest.