Moving on

[Mercy Medical]

I don't necessarily know if I'm ready for this yet, but I was just wondering if anyone could get me some suggestions for getting over the love of my life.

Quick history for those that don't know me. I'm 21 and met the love of my life my freshman year of college. We were together for 9 months, but certain aspects of a relationship continued until about this past December. We're both girls (this part is actually a long story so I'll just leave it at that) and I'm pretty damn positive that she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So, any help?

[SonEric84]

I'm really not sure about this myself....just try to date other people

[Mercy Medical]

I'm really not sure about this myself....just try to date other people
The thing that makes that difficult is that I don't necessarily have guys pawing at my door over me.

[aminorthreat55]

Yeah I need help too. Except I almost refuse to move on now.

[SK_mo]

The thing that makes that difficult is that I don't necessarily have guys pawing at my door over me.
Just get out and meet new people, you don't neccessarily need to have guys pawing at your door to go out and get to know them. Granted for me it's a lot easier to talk to people now than before I joined the Corps, but only cause I've gotten so used to meeting strangers that its easy to make friends now. I know how much you cared and still do care about her, but just surround yourself with new people, or maybe look up some old frfiends and call them up.

You're a cool chick Kara, I hope you find something or someone to help you move on. If not, I'm always around to talk to if you ever need someone.

[Mercy Medical]

Just get out and meet new people, you don't neccessarily need to have guys pawing at your door to get to know them. Granted for me it's a lot easier to talk to people now than before I joined the Corps, but only cause I've gotten so used to meeting strangers that its easy to make friends now. I know much you cared and still probably do care about her, but just surround yourself with new people, or maybe look up some old frfiends and call them up.

You're a cool chick Kara, I hope you find something or someone to help you move on. If not, I'm always around to talk to if you ever need someone.
I don't know if I'm really ready to move on or want to move on at this point in time. I don't think I'll ever want to move on, but it's a situation where I guess I need to learn how to deal with it. I wish it wasn't that way and I wish she would just come back to me, but if she decides to, I don't think it will be anytime soon.

Thanks for being so helpful. This would be a lot more difficult to deal with if I didn't have some of you AP people to talk to every once and a while.

[SK_mo]

I don't know if I'm really ready to move on or want to move on at this point in time. I don't think I'll ever want to move on, but it's a situation where I guess I need to learn how to deal with it. I wish it wasn't that way and I wish she would just come back to me, but if she decides to, I don't think it will be anytime soon.

Thanks for being so helpful. This would be a lot more difficult to deal with if I didn't have some of you AP people to talk to every once and a while.

You don't need to move on if you don't want. I fell in love with one of my female friends when we first met. We became pretty good friends really fast and after a few months I decided to tell her how I felt. She didn't say anything, and I thought I was going to die right there. I went pretty much the whole school year after that not talking to her, but I'd still see her around and every once in a while I'd run into one of her two best frfiends who were my friends too, but they had no idea why the two of us didnt talk anymore. The day before I went to bootcamp I ran into her and her friends, and i apologized for scaring her and told her that I had only meant that i loved her as a friend. She forgave me and we were on good terms again. After i got out of MOS school, I ran into her friends a few times and they told me what she was up to, and up until the last few weeks before i came out here I didnt even see her. My last night before I flew out we talked on the phone for 4 hours. And neither of us likes staying on the phone. I don't even remember what we talked about it but I remember just talking to her was the greatest thing ever. Thinking of her is what got me through bootcamp and pretty much all of my training and i thought it was going to be thinking of her that got me home. But then back in October I wrote her a letter telling her again what I felt, and why i felt it and that if I had any chance to just write me a letter or an email or anything just to let me know. Two weeks later I was able to go to the internet cafe on base and get on AIM. As soon as I got on I got an IM from one of her best friends saying Crystal(the girl I used to love) had the letter, and that she was going to write to me soon. Well, I later found out she wasn't going to write when the weeks passed by and still no letter. I was heartbroken but I knew and still think that somewhere deep down theres a little part of her that wants to be with me. Shortly after I wrote the letter I signed up on here to give me something else to spend my time thinking about. I even met someone on here that I think I may have fallen in love with. We met 2 months ago and up until around New Years we'd email each other back and forth all day long. She's written me letters and even sent gifts and stuff in the mail. I even convinced her to fly out to Cali in March so she can meet me when I get back to the states. But I don't know, there's that parrt of me that still loves Crystal, and the other part tthat wants to get over her cause I know it'll never happen.

I can definately understand what you're going through, but the easiest way to get over someone is to meet someone new. Sorry my reply was so long, but I hope it helps to know there are other people in the same boat as you.

[SonEric84]

The thing that makes that difficult is that I don't necessarily have guys pawing at my door over me.

I know what you mean cause I definitely don't have girls lined up...but even if you find someone new just to talk to it might make things a little easier, whether you decide to move on or wait it out and see what happens.

[Mercy Medical]

Thanks guys...

Anyone else have any suggestions?

[punklet2101]

Walker :)

If you want to move on, make a concious decision that you are going to do it. You need to do this every day so you don't slip back.

Believing in small matters allows you to ultimately achieve the bigger picture... so fix the little things that are contributing to what is happening (if you don't know what I mean, ask me) because that will help a great deal and make this process a little easier on you.

Try to gradually focus your attention on other things (I say gradually because it will be easier and in the long run more efficient) so your thought life doesn't continue to be controlled by your situation. Because this has been your life for a long time, it'll be hard at first but don't give up. You've been given a sound mind.

Find strength in yourself. :)

I don't know how much this has helped... but hang in there. <3

Lastly, if you need an ear or support, i'm always here for you. :)